I have a question and I would like advice on my situation.
My dad's sister asked my dad if she could have her eldest son ahmad marry me. He lives in holland and she lives back home. He does not have a citizenship there and is staying there on work papers. My dad has asked my to marry my cousin before and I never accepted the idea and absolutely refused. The last time my dad asked me which was before he went to visit his sister in back home, something overcame me and I said yes! I couldnt believe that i actually said yes but it was like a feeling in my heart that said its right. and I prayed salat istikhara and and i had a really good feeling about it and i was hoping the feeling was mutual for both. His mom also wanted my younger sister (im 18, shes 17) for her son who is 22. The plan was for my sister to marry him when she got older but my sister does not want to marry him but they dont know this. For me they dont know that I accepted, but what they did was talk to my cousin ahmad who is 28. They told him about him marrying me and at first he just smiled and then he was like i want to marry her after they talked to him about responsibility and all of that stuff. Throughout the time that my dad was in back home he kept calling to see if we needed anything and stuff like that. then a few weeks after my dad came back from back home, my cousin ahmad called and asked my dad for my hand in marriage and later on they planned for me and him to see eachother online. we have never physically met before but we have pictures of eachother from before this marriage thing. so we saw eachother online and we talked mostly about what we do during our days what we study etc. Like 3 days after, they came online again. This is the part that troubles me the most and I really need your advice on this please.
- My cousin who is ahmad's sister nermeen came online and talked to my mom and dad for a long time about random everyday things and did not once mention the marriage issue, or say anything about whether or not her brother wanted to marry me or not. (even though he asked for my hand, we had to see eachother first, then find out if he wants to marry me or not after which I give my answer). Anyways so out of the blue nermeen says that she wants to speak to me and my sister. we rarely talk to her so it was so random and weird. So me and my sis come and sit in front of the camera bc we talk via msn. So her micro wasnt working so we had to talk through the phone. she asked for my sister first. here is where the problem started but my mom and sister disagree and i want someone elses opinion. she was supposed to talk to me first because im older, but i decided to over look that. I became angry when Ahmad asked to talk to my sis. he talked to her about school and things like that, nothing to be suspicious about, and then my sis asked if she could talk to nermeen bc she was uncomfortable. He didnt ask to speak to me even though im the one he is supposed to marry and I was shocked that he spoke to my sister, the thing is weve never spoken to him before this and then for him to speak to my sister rather than me shocked me. then nermeen spoke to me about irrelevant things and she then spoke to my dad. my mom and sister said that he had already spoken to me the day we saw eachother online and he probably just wamted to talk to my sister to get to know her, and that he probably did not ask to speak to me because he thought my dad would get mad about it or maybe was shy to talk to me or something like thst. thats what my mom and sister said and i wasnt convinced. and until now ahmad nor nermeen nor anyone from his family have said anything about whether ahmad wants to marry me or not. so idk can someone give me advice about this situation and whether i should be mad or not? like is it possible that he might have wanted to see my sis and talk to her because he might like her instead or something. any sort of advice/help would be greatly appreciated. thanks alot
My dad's sister asked my dad if she could have her eldest son ahmad marry me. He lives in holland and she lives back home. He does not have a citizenship there and is staying there on work papers. My dad has asked my to marry my cousin before and I never accepted the idea and absolutely refused. The last time my dad asked me which was before he went to visit his sister in back home, something overcame me and I said yes! I couldnt believe that i actually said yes but it was like a feeling in my heart that said its right. and I prayed salat istikhara and and i had a really good feeling about it and i was hoping the feeling was mutual for both. His mom also wanted my younger sister (im 18, shes 17) for her son who is 22. The plan was for my sister to marry him when she got older but my sister does not want to marry him but they dont know this. For me they dont know that I accepted, but what they did was talk to my cousin ahmad who is 28. They told him about him marrying me and at first he just smiled and then he was like i want to marry her after they talked to him about responsibility and all of that stuff. Throughout the time that my dad was in back home he kept calling to see if we needed anything and stuff like that. then a few weeks after my dad came back from back home, my cousin ahmad called and asked my dad for my hand in marriage and later on they planned for me and him to see eachother online. we have never physically met before but we have pictures of eachother from before this marriage thing. so we saw eachother online and we talked mostly about what we do during our days what we study etc. Like 3 days after, they came online again. This is the part that troubles me the most and I really need your advice on this please.
- My cousin who is ahmad's sister nermeen came online and talked to my mom and dad for a long time about random everyday things and did not once mention the marriage issue, or say anything about whether or not her brother wanted to marry me or not. (even though he asked for my hand, we had to see eachother first, then find out if he wants to marry me or not after which I give my answer). Anyways so out of the blue nermeen says that she wants to speak to me and my sister. we rarely talk to her so it was so random and weird. So me and my sis come and sit in front of the camera bc we talk via msn. So her micro wasnt working so we had to talk through the phone. she asked for my sister first. here is where the problem started but my mom and sister disagree and i want someone elses opinion. she was supposed to talk to me first because im older, but i decided to over look that. I became angry when Ahmad asked to talk to my sis. he talked to her about school and things like that, nothing to be suspicious about, and then my sis asked if she could talk to nermeen bc she was uncomfortable. He didnt ask to speak to me even though im the one he is supposed to marry and I was shocked that he spoke to my sister, the thing is weve never spoken to him before this and then for him to speak to my sister rather than me shocked me. then nermeen spoke to me about irrelevant things and she then spoke to my dad. my mom and sister said that he had already spoken to me the day we saw eachother online and he probably just wamted to talk to my sister to get to know her, and that he probably did not ask to speak to me because he thought my dad would get mad about it or maybe was shy to talk to me or something like thst. thats what my mom and sister said and i wasnt convinced. and until now ahmad nor nermeen nor anyone from his family have said anything about whether ahmad wants to marry me or not. so idk can someone give me advice about this situation and whether i should be mad or not? like is it possible that he might have wanted to see my sis and talk to her because he might like her instead or something. any sort of advice/help would be greatly appreciated. thanks alot
