neither ur fault nor his, its just both of you let the Shaitan get to both of you. Shaitan ultimate goal is to destroy marriages, he simply loves it when your raise the voice in anger.
"Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam said, “Satan sets his throne on the sea, then he sends off his troops; the closest to him (i.e., most beloved) is he who causes the greatest trial. One would come to him and Satan would ask him: ‘What did you do?' and, he would reply: ‘I did such-and-such.' Satan would remark: ‘You have not done anything important.' (This will continue) until one comes saying: ‘I did not leave him until he divorced his wife', so Satan would bring him near to himself, saying: ‘Yes, you are the one, you are the one'.” ""
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 200:
200 O ye who believe! Practice 'sabr' (persevere in patience and constancy): vie in such 'sabr' (perseverance); strengthen each other; and fear Allah; that ye may prosper.
I think you could have handled this situation a bit better, when he said he is going to sleep then you should have left him alone and could have talked to him next day and even could have complained in such a way so he does not get offended. I am pretty sure he could have easily realized that it was his mistake, even he had to goto sleep he should have told you in such a way that it does not make you unhappy. what i really see here is a bit of communication gap.
I have learned few things from last friday khutbah and I would like to share it here; the imam said, there are four basic things to successful marriage and they are:
1) Respect
2) Trust
3) Communication
4) Love
and he mentioned these has to be in order (e.g you say i love u darling but i dont respect you, that does not work at all and does not make any sense)
so you must respect each other, and trust each other, and alot of communication need to be established and then its finally love between you. and he also mentioned, in any lawful relation if partners are sincerer to each other Allah SWT joins them as their third partner to help you.
i beleive in ur situation it was lack of communication and misunderstanding.
i think one of our sister advised you to apologize even if it was not your mistake and I agree you should do that and then try to explain the whole situation in a very calm manner. tell him that its neither his mistake nor yours, just dont let the Shaitan to stray you. tell him that u respect him alot.
remember again respect, communication, trust and love
and dear sisters I would also like to share the following ahdess with you:
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3256 Narrated by Umm Salamah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter paradise."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3258 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal
The Prophet (saws) said that no woman annoyed her husband in this world without his wife among the large-eyed maidens of Paradise saying, "You must not annoy him. Allah curse you! He is only a passing guest with you, and is about to leave you to come to us."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best, he (saws) replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3255 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I should order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband."
and for my dear brothers
On the occasion of Hajjatul-Wida (The Farewell Hajj) Rasulullah among other advices said with regard to women; "0 People! fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your possession with the permission of Allah."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Amongst the most perfect of mumins in Imaan is he who is best Character and amongst the best of them is he who kindest towards his wife." Rasulullah said: "He is the best amongst you who is the kindest towards his wives and I am the kindest amongst you towards my wives."
Hakim bin Mua'wiya (R.A.) enquired from Rasulullah regarding the rights of women over their husbands? Rasulullah said: "When you eat, feed her and when you dress, dress her; do not smite her across the face and do not boycott her but within the house."
*Do not leave her alone in the house in the state of anger and disappear.
may Allah guide all of us to the right path and keep the Shaitan away, may Allah make it easy for all of us.
I make dua to Allah SWT to forgive for any thing which i have said wrong, and please you also forgive me if u fell i said some thing wrong making comments on your situation.
may Allah keep all of us united, and put alot of love into our hearts for our spouses.
MashaALLAH ... May ALLAH give u reward for this
