Decoy24601 said:
I had a similar experience a while ago. I'm a US citizen. When I went to visit my Canadian boyfriend (now fiancé and soon to be husband) for three months, the officer was generally unconcerned and was satisfied that I would leave after the three months I said since I had college to go back to in the fall. However, I left a month early to visit my mother in Washington and tried to go back a few days later. A few weeks before I had found out that I couldn't get enough financial aid and had to cancel all of my college plans. I was left with no job, little money, no plans, and little ties to the US. I was pulled in for a secondary inspection and the woman grilled me for quite literally hours. She even went as far to ask how my boyfriend and I met and Googled the forum we met on and asked specifically what subforums and threads we met on. She o continued to ask me pointless and intimate questions about our relationship and then made me sit down for a whole hour. Then she finally called me back up to tell me that she was allowing me in for only three days, and seized my passport to make sure I came back and wrote down the address I was staying at to have me deported if I didn't show. I left heartbroken that my visit with my fiancé was cut short, confused, and feeling like a criminal. She even told me, they do that to everyone,but it looks like my case was quite severe.
I'm afraid to try and visit my fiancé after we get married and file the application. Will they allow me to visit for two weeks? I want to at least visit him for my birthday. I will be traveling by train and have a job and apartment now and will have a return ticket and enough money and a credit card. I am just afraid they will take me off the train, grill me for a few hours, and then I am stuck without transportation. I had a much much smoother time at the airport in Vancouver than I did at the peace arch crossing by washington/BC. The land crossing was hell. Ironically, both times I came back to the US it was easy. They asked me two questions so and that was it.
Also, on the form that they gave me to give the officer in secondary, he listed me as a resident of Canada, not a visitor. Even though I had only been there two months. I pointed this out but they ignored me, they were trying to make it seem like I was illegally living in Canada.
Don't feel bad at all, this is a mistake many, many people make. When my now-husband crossed the border the first time, we were both clueless. He first tried to cross by bus with no return ticket. Big mistake! He had no money to show them, no ticket so they made him get off the bus and he got stuck at the border with no ride. I can't remember all the details but he phoned me and told me what happened. I was horrified, so we quickly bought him a return ticket and he got a bank statement and went back to the border. After further grilling they phoned me and asked me questions to see if he was telling the truth. They let him on another bus and he got a 1 month visitor record. That was our first introduction to the realities of crossing borders.
The second occurred when he overstayed by 2 weeks but we dumbly didn't know this was a big deal and he tried to get his working holiday visa at the border by flagpoling. The lady grilled him hard, called his freaking MOM and told me to shut up because I was "talking for him" which I was in fact doing
. So I sat there and cried. Then she suddenly changed personality and let him go with his work permit, lol. Tears for the win? I can say that traumatised me about the border and since then it's never been bad like that again, thank god, but we learned our lesson hard.
The key is to follow the rules, do some research, know what to have on you and what to say, and you will be fine. I've even dumbly said my then-bf (now husband) was living in Canada and they were ok with it, so it's all in the CBSA officer you get.
I swear you have to have a bit of a sociopathic streak to be able to grill someone over visiting their loved one to the point of crying, job or no job. It's pretty awful.
But, due to that mishap, you are going to be given a harder time every time you cross now. So, you really need to have your ducks in a row when you cross. Try not to let it get to you though, just be confident and make sure you have all the required information.