ARE YOU REALLY IN LOVE?? YOU KNOW YOURSELF!

[mercyofGod]

Indeed, there is a cause. The cause is that the abuser makes a deliberate decision to inflict pain or terror upon their spouse.

See, case in point. Human/machine marriage is not legal in Canada, so one's spouse is by definition not an automaton. How can "exchanging words" lead to a beating without an active decision involved?

Since there is a decision involved, that is where we should place our ire. All the groping about for "causes" or "exchanging words" cannot cover the fact that the decision is the key component in all instances of abuse.

Now, in all seriousness, if you are being abused -- even if your life is not in danger -- I encourage you to seek help. Even if you don't go to the authorities, seek advice and comfort in your friends and family. One classic technique of abuse is to isolate the victim and make them feel alone, burdened to carry the confidence of their relationship against a hostile world. This is wrong and it is dangerous, since it means that if abuse does become (further) threatening to one's life or health the victim is in an even worse place to seek help.

A degree of independence for yourself is your right, even in a committed marriage. Don't let an abuser take that away from you.

I do agree with your point 'that the abuser makes a deliberate decision to inflict pain or terror upon their spouse' yes indeed there some partners like that that will never see something good in their spouse because they deliberately cause pain in the relationship.

Thank you for giving instances and this is what l want people to do in their comment than passing judgement.

 

[mercyofGod]

Are you actually implying the victim did something wrong to deserve physical abuse? That IS ignorant. Plain and simple. Scylla, I agree with your comment 100%.

I also find your initial post condescending. We are all adults here who can manage our own relationships without your religious judgments.

Scylla is the person that raised the issue of abuse and l never mention that in my first post and l am never in support of abusive relationship plus if you have problem with religious you deal with it not for you to be saying what you don't know and by the way no one can manage your relationship. Therefore mind what you say again because my purpose of the post is not to manage peoples relationship but to encourage one another to carry positive mind towards their relationship.

 

[mercyofGod]

If I understand this correctly you imply the victim deserves to be beaten simple because they did something and its acceptable - WOW

Pls don't quote something l don't say...if your own understanding translated my post to be what you wrote above that "victim deserves to be beaten" you are TOTALLY wrong because l never support beating or abusive relationship.

 

[mercyofGod]

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
Get this right again and again l am not in any way in support of abusive or beating relationship, DO NOT quote or say things that is already in your mind to polute this thread.

ALL l am talking about is the issue of divorce Not Abusive relationship and by the way there are lots of reasons why people divorce in which beating and abuse is one of it, why don't we talk about other areas that separate relationship.

My purpose of this post is not to insult people but to raise different issues that leads to separation and how we can encourage one another to take note of it and avoid things that could lead to separation because l see people going into marriage and after their landing they file for divorce, while some go back to marry their ex and this is obvious that the marriage is for the purpose of migration.

These are the reason why l put up the thread before Scylla raised the issue of abuse and beating in which l never said that l am in support of such relationship. Therefore, think before you nail me to the cross!
Shallom.