ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP after a year into PR

[jpsant]

Hello, guys!
I need help.
I know everyone is busy with their application but please help
My husband is phychologically abusing me.
We've been married for 2 years but I only became a PR about a year and 1 month ago. So I have that condition that I have to stay with him for 2 years.
I do not know what happened but he's cheating on me with other people, telling me I am always annoying, he told me to kill myself yesterday. I feel so lonely and I have no one here.
I dont want to tell my family about it, they cant do anything as they arent in Canada and I do not want to worry them.
What can I do?
I dont want him to get arrested or anything.
we are both young 23-24 but he's crushing my heart and my ego. All the promises that we've made were all words to him.
I am so tired. help!
It's not the first time he does this.
He's not even home right now. He slept at this persons house tonight. Oh God. I cant even sleep.
My mind wont stop.

 

[AmandaCanDR1]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.

I would find somewhere else to stay besides with him if it's possible. I would also contact CIC and make sure I would have enough proof to provide them of the abuse. You can also call a hospital and ask for help. This could be your place to sleep and to be given meals and at the same time a place where you can work on your case with CIC as some hospitals have a computer room.

Stay safe.

 

[chhapa]

Hello, guys!
I need help.
I know everyone is busy with their application but please help
My husband is phychologically abusing me.
We've been married for 2 years but I only became a PR about a year and 1 month ago. So I have that condition that I have to stay with him for 2 years.
I do not know what happened but he's cheating on me with other people, telling me I am always annoying, he told me to kill myself yesterday. I feel so lonely and I have no one here.
I dont want to tell my family about it, they cant do anything as they arent in Canada and I do not want to worry them.
What can I do?
I dont want him to get arrested or anything.
we are both young 23-24 but he's crushing my heart and my ego. All the promises that we've made were all words to him.
I am so tired. help!
It's not the first time he does this.
He's not even home right now. He slept at this persons house tonight. Oh God. I cant even sleep.
My mind wont stop.

You need emotional support first. Try counselor
even if u guys dnt get along counselor/ doctor reports may help u in PR process (my guess)

 

[profiler]

Hello, guys!
I need help.
I know everyone is busy with their application but please help
My husband is phychologically abusing me.
We've been married for 2 years but I only became a PR about a year and 1 month ago. So I have that condition that I have to stay with him for 2 years.
I do not know what happened but he's cheating on me with other people, telling me I am always annoying, he told me to kill myself yesterday. I feel so lonely and I have no one here.
I dont want to tell my family about it, they cant do anything as they arent in Canada and I do not want to worry them.
What can I do?
I dont want him to get arrested or anything.
we are both young 23-24 but he's crushing my heart and my ego. All the promises that we've made were all words to him.
I am so tired. help!
It's not the first time he does this.
He's not even home right now. He slept at this persons house tonight. Oh God. I cant even sleep.
My mind wont stop.

First off, I am sorry to hear that things turned bad for you both. Chhapa is mostly correct here, get a counsellor and talk through what's going on -- you can try a marriage counsellor if you want to try to correct his behaviour. If not, then just get a counsellor and/or a psychologist to help out. They will record evidence for you and speak to the abuse when you contact the CIC to have Cond 51 waived.

Best of luck, and I hope it all works out!

 

[Abhi098]

Sorry dear; I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know it's hard to trust a stranger, but I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability.

Although it may appear like this is my first ever post but believe me I have been on this forum since 2011, and try not to comment but just lurk. However, I felt like I need to reply to your post so I created this account.

Couple things first, I have been listening to video/audio conferences that CIC has currently been holding in regards to family reunification. They actually mentioned today that they are well aware of the abuse that some spouses have to go through because of this 2 year condition; and John Mccallum has recently stated in one of his debates at the House of Common that CIC is working on getting rid of this clause in the not-too-distant future to prevent such potential situations from unfolding.

However, since this is not yet in effect, I would definitely recommend you getting in touch with your MP in case your husband tries to threaten you for revoking your pr. They may very well (and I am pretty sure they will) keep certain things confidential; but your MP should be able to represent your case if a potential crisis occurs.

The second thing, as a healthcare professional, I definitely recommend you accessing the services in place to help with abusive relationships. There are hotlines available specifically to help woman in abusive relationships, and so many other ommunity services for free; that they will be able to stand up for you in case crisis occurs. Believe me they are professionals and that's the core reason they exist. You dear have done nothing wrong that you deserve to be in such kind of relationship, and I understand the fear of losing your pr; but as I said these people will stand up for you to the best of their abilities if such situation arises. Hence it is very important to notify these people if you believe your husband is trying to threaten you.

This may very well be my first and last post on this forum but I hope you access some help available in the community.

 

[danawhitaker]

Sorry dear; I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know it's hard to trust a stranger, but I will try to answer your question to the best of my ability.

Although it may appear like this is my first ever post but believe me I have been on this forum since 2011, and try not to comment but just lurk. However, I felt like I need to reply to your post so I created this account.

Couple things first, I have been listening to video/audio conferences that CIC has currently been holding in regards to family reunification. They actually mentioned today that they are well aware of the abuse that some spouses have to go through because of this 2 year condition; and John Mccallum has recently stated in one of his debates at the House of Common that CIC is working on getting rid of this clause in the not-too-distant future to prevent such potential situations from unfolding.

However, since this is not yet in effect, I would definitely recommend you getting in touch with your MP in case your husband tries to threaten you for revoking your pr. They may very well (and I am pretty sure they will) keep certain things confidential; but your MP should be able to represent your case if a potential crisis occurs.

The second thing, as a healthcare professional, I definitely recommend you accessing the services in place to help with abusive relationships. There are hotlines available specifically to help woman in abusive relationships, and so many other ommunity services for free; that they will be able to stand up for you in case crisis occurs. Believe me they are professionals and that's the core reason they exist. You dear have done nothing wrong that you deserve to be in such kind of relationship, and I understand the fear of losing your pr; but as I said these people will stand up for you to the best of their abilities if such situation arises. Hence it is very important to notify these people if you believe your husband is trying to threaten you.

This may very well be my first and last post on this forum but I hope you access some help available in the community.

Where are you able to see those audio/video conferences about family reunification, out of curiosity? That's something I'd be interested in listening to as well.

 

[SL_chica]

Hello, guys!
I need help.
I know everyone is busy with their application but please help
My husband is phychologically abusing me.
We've been married for 2 years but I only became a PR about a year and 1 month ago. So I have that condition that I have to stay with him for 2 years.
I do not know what happened but he's cheating on me with other people, telling me I am always annoying, he told me to kill myself yesterday. I feel so lonely and I have no one here.
I dont want to tell my family about it, they cant do anything as they arent in Canada and I do not want to worry them.
What can I do?
I dont want him to get arrested or anything.
we are both young 23-24 but he's crushing my heart and my ego. All the promises that we've made were all words to him.
I am so tired. help!
It's not the first time he does this.
He's not even home right now. He slept at this persons house tonight. Oh God. I cant even sleep.
My mind wont stop.

I am really sorry that you have to go through this, this breaks my heart.
My thoughts and prayers are with you to be strong.

Please know that he CANNOT revoke your PR. In the Conditional PR there is an exception clause :
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/backgrounders/2012/2012-10-26b.asp

More details can be found here:
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp

 

[SL_chica]

Here is what CIC says about situations of such: Canada is a great country, will protect you.


Exception for abuse or neglect
The conditional measure would cease to apply in instances where there is evidence of abuse or neglect by the sponsor, or of a failure to protect from abuse or neglect by a person related to the sponsor, whether that person is habitually residing in the household or not during the conditional period.

How to request an exception from the application of the condition

Sponsored persons who are subject to the condition may request an exception from the condition at any time during the two-year conditional period, or they may request an exception at the time of an investigation. They can do so by calling the CIC Call Centre at 1-888-242-2100.
Considerations for cases involving victims of abuse or neglect
Abuse may take many different forms: physical abuse, including assault and forcible confinement; sexual abuse, including sexual contact without consent; psychological abuse, including threats and intimidation; or financial abuse, including fraud and extortion. Neglect consists of the failure to provide the necessities of life, such as food, clothing, medical care or shelter and any other omission that result in a risk of serious harm.

There are many reasons why a victim may not report abuse to the authorities. This is particularly true for recent immigrants to Canada. A sponsored spouse might feel very alone in their newly adopted country and their abuser might have given them false information about their status in Canada. They might have trouble talking to people or be afraid for the safety of their children. They might face language barriers, religious or cultural constraints or concerns over maintaining their family honour. They might need to know more about their rights under Canadian law and that abuse is a crime.

CIC has worked closely with its partners to provide a definition of abuse or neglect that is as inclusive as possible. Officers are being provided with a wealth of information to assist them in processing requests received for such an exception.

 

[Abhi098]

Where are you able to see those audio/video conferences about family reunification, out of curiosity? That's something I'd be interested in listening to as well.

Sorry I didn't reply to you earlier. I saw that you are already a permanent resident. Congratulations!! For those Audi/video conferences, you can refer to the following link. They IRCC have conferences held every now and then to discuss hot topics like family reunfications, refugee settlements and so on. Here is the link: http://www.ourcommons.ca/Committees/en/CIMM

 

[HIN25]

Hi there ,
please can anybody give suggestion, my ex husband complaint against me in CIC . i got married in 2010 . case was rejected in 2013 n won appeal in 2014 n came to canada in 2015 . but after my arrival in canada my husband said he didnt want to get married with me . he got married because of his parents n his mom passed away so now there is no reason to accept me. his father knew every thing . so because of their relatives will insult them his father again pressure my ex husband to file a case against me so tht they can tell tht girl herself didnt want to live with them, although all relatives know what is true, so i received letter after 3 years of my arrival from CIC n they asked my side story n i submitted documents as much as i can , now its been 6 months i didnt hear anything . how easy to them to give hard time to their wives who left everything for their husbands n they ruined next persons life in 1 sec

 

[K0nsumHure]

Hello, guys!
I need help.
I know everyone is busy with their application but please help
My husband is phychologically abusing me.
We've been married for 2 years but I only became a PR about a year and 1 month ago. So I have that condition that I have to stay with him for 2 years.
I do not know what happened but he's cheating on me with other people, telling me I am always annoying, he told me to kill myself yesterday. I feel so lonely and I have no one here.
I dont want to tell my family about it, they cant do anything as they arent in Canada and I do not want to worry them.
What can I do?
I dont want him to get arrested or anything.
we are both young 23-24 but he's crushing my heart and my ego. All the promises that we've made were all words to him.
I am so tired. help!
It's not the first time he does this.
He's not even home right now. He slept at this persons house tonight. Oh God. I cant even sleep.
My mind wont stop.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you, especially far away from people you know and trust. Where are you located? Maybe someone close might be willing and able to support you through this.

The suggestions here sound good already, the most important thing is probably to get proof that your husband is mistreating you. Talking to counsellors or medical personnel seems like a good idea.
Maybe there is a community run help group somewhere in your area, or a cultural centre? Depending where right now and where you're from there might be a community from your country of origin that might be able to give you some support.

EDIT:
I just found this document that is really recent and should be up to date and has a lot of useful tips:
https://www.cplea.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/LeavingAnAbusiveRelationshipNonCanadian.pdf

 

[K0nsumHure]

Hi there ,
please can anybody give suggestion, my ex husband complaint against me in CIC . i got married in 2010 . case was rejected in 2013 n won appeal in 2014 n came to canada in 2015 . but after my arrival in canada my husband said he didnt want to get married with me . he got married because of his parents n his mom passed away so now there is no reason to accept me. his father knew every thing . so because of their relatives will insult them his father again pressure my ex husband to file a case against me so tht they can tell tht girl herself didnt want to live with them, although all relatives know what is true, so i received letter after 3 years of my arrival from CIC n they asked my side story n i submitted documents as much as i can , now its been 6 months i didnt hear anything . how easy to them to give hard time to their wives who left everything for their husbands n they ruined next persons life in 1 sec

Sorry to hear about your troubles, that sounds like a very frustrating and unfair situation.
You say that you live in Canada since 2015, depending when, that's almost two years already.
Is the process about taking the PR from you or just the marriage? It seems that you really have to get out of that marriage either way.

 

[jpsant]

Hi there ,
please can anybody give suggestion, my ex husband complaint against me in CIC . i got married in 2010 . case was rejected in 2013 n won appeal in 2014 n came to canada in 2015 . but after my arrival in canada my husband said he didnt want to get married with me . he got married because of his parents n his mom passed away so now there is no reason to accept me. his father knew every thing . so because of their relatives will insult them his father again pressure my ex husband to file a case against me so tht they can tell tht girl herself didnt want to live with them, although all relatives know what is true, so i received letter after 3 years of my arrival from CIC n they asked my side story n i submitted documents as much as i can , now its been 6 months i didnt hear anything . how easy to them to give hard time to their wives who left everything for their husbands n they ruined next persons life in 1 sec

How awful
Wow
I’m assuming cic believes u.
I think it’s unlike that you will have ur pr revoked.
I’m very sorry about that.

 

[HIN25]

Thank you realy so much for K0nsumHure n jpsant . Yes its realy frustrating n hell painful. Now its been almost 3 years im living in canada. I paid my laywer fees to sale out my all jewlery. I even didnt take any grant from Govt or from my ex hubby not even i thought about tht.. im doing it everything from my own . What is the benifits of elimenate tht 51 law ? N specialy they sent me letter after elimenating law .
N now its been 6 month i didnt hear anything from CIC..
My ex husband didnt give me any single money whether undertaking sponsor 3 years responsbility nor i asked him.
Im so much in pain now tht what further CIC will do with me .

 

[canuck_in_uk]

Thank you realy so much for K0nsumHure n jpsant . Yes its realy frustrating n hell painful. Now its been almost 3 years im living in canada. I paid my laywer fees to sale out my all jewlery. I even didnt take any grant from Govt or from my ex hubby not even i thought about tht.. im doing it everything from my own . What is the benifits of elimenate tht 51 law ? N specialy they sent me letter after elimenating law .
N now its been 6 month i didnt hear anything from CIC..
My ex husband didnt give me any single money whether undertaking sponsor 3 years responsbility nor i asked him.
Im so much in pain now tht what further CIC will do with me .

You seem to be misunderstanding Condition 51 and the "benefits of eliminating it". Eliminating Condition 51 did not exempt people from having their status revoked based on misrepresentation. Had your relationship simply ended naturally within 2 years from landing, you would have benefited from the removal of Condition 51 by being able to keep your PR status. However, from what you've said, your husband has made a claim that you committed misrepresentation by using a Marriage of Convenience to come to Canada, so your situation has nothing to do with Condition 51.