That's where the problem is. Using your cousin or brother in law account won't work only if you share Surname with them. And your account of 450k is a problem. Find a sponsor that bear the same surname(father, mother, sister, brother), let he or she write a sponsorship letter (Notarized) for you and bank acct statement with many house or landed property and pay at least for semester fee. That's what is expected as a Nigerian cos of high rate of refusal
Need advice to improve my SOP after rejection
- Thread starter setumehta7
- Start date
ETTER OF INTENT
Dear Sir/Madam,
First of all, I wish to bring to your understanding that the business world has been revolutionized almost beyond recognition in the past few decades, and business owners need to constantly develop their skills in order to make the most of this fast paced industry. In Nigeria today, the field of business is faced with numerous challenges. The recent development in business has posed grave challenge to a vast majority of Nigerian businessmen who have no knowledge on how to embrace the advances in communication and new technology that has changed its face. As well understood, business skills are not inherent nor earned, but learnt. Unfortunately, the educational opportunities in Nigeria are not sufficient for an accomplished goal. To this end, I am writing to express my interest in applying for the Graduate certificate program at Mohawk college, to study Global Business Management.
Global business management is what I want to study to the highest possible level and it is a natural progression for my chosen career. For some people business is just a substance of money but for me, it is a matter of passion, desire and drive to succeed. the way business is controlled and organised, motivates me to learn more and more about it.
I have through personal experience, seen its impact in an organization and I am naturally passionate about it. I have the passion and determination to expand my father’s business and having participated actively in the daily running of the business, I fully understand the challenges faced by small and medium scale businesses and how these challenges impede their growth and continuity. With the knowledge and skills, I will gain from this course, it is my desire to take my father’s business from a medium scale business to a multinational corporation.
I have decided to study in Canada for several reasons. Firstly, Canada has earned respect on the international stage for its strong diplomatic skills, respect for human and civil rights, and more. Secondly, Canada has amazing schools that are welcoming to international students, which makes it possible to meet new people from around the world while also divulging in new cultures and experiences. I decided to study in Mohawk because it is one of Canada’s top 20 research intensive colleges, and with excellent academic reputation. It also has some of the best facilities, and most notably, it is one of the largest community colleges in east-central Canada. I strongly believe that studying in such an amazing environment will provide me with theoretical training, practical exposure, and access to resources that will increase my overall effectiveness, and also provide me with a unique advantage in achieving my future aspiration.
After my Graduate certificate program, I wish to return home to Nigeria and take over the reins of management in my father’s business. I am so confident that with the knowledge and skills I will learn from this course, I will take my father’s business from being a medium scale business to a 21st Century Business Corporation.
I hereby undertake that I will observe the conditions of my visa, that I will not be a burden to the state and that I will leave the state on the expiry of my permission to remain if my visa application is granted.
LETTER OF INTENT
Dear Sir/Madam,
First of all, I wish to bring to your understanding that the business world has been revolutionized almost beyond recognition in the past few decades, and business owners need to constantly develop their skills in order to make the most of this fast paced industry. In Nigeria today, the field of business is faced with numerous challenges. The recent development in business has posed grave challenge to a vast majority of Nigerian businessmen who have no knowledge on how to embrace the advances in communication and new technology that has changed its face. As well understood, business skills are not inherent nor earned, but learnt. Unfortunately, the educational opportunities in Nigeria are not sufficient for an accomplished goal. To this end, I am writing to express my interest in applying for the Graduate certificate program at Mohawk college, to study Global Business Management.
Global business management is what I want to study to the highest possible level and it is a natural progression for my chosen career. For some people business is just a substance of money but for me, it is a matter of passion, desire and drive to succeed. the way business is controlled and organised, motivates me to learn more and more about it.
I have through personal experience, seen its impact in an organization and I am naturally passionate about it. I have the passion and determination to expand my father’s business and having participated actively in the daily running of the business, I fully understand the challenges faced by small and medium scale businesses and how these challenges impede their growth and continuity. With the knowledge and skills, I will gain from this course, it is my desire to take my father’s business from a medium scale business to a multinational corporation.
I have decided to study in Canada for several reasons. Firstly, Canada has earned respect on the international stage for its strong diplomatic skills, respect for human and civil rights, and more. Secondly, Canada has amazing schools that are welcoming to international students, which makes it possible to meet new people from around the world while also divulging in new cultures and experiences. I decided to study in Mohawk because it is one of Canada’s top 20 research intensive colleges, and with excellent academic reputation. It also has some of the best facilities, and most notably, it is one of the largest community colleges in east-central Canada. I strongly believe that studying in such an amazing environment will provide me with theoretical training, practical exposure, and access to resources that will increase my overall effectiveness, and also provide me with a unique advantage in achieving my future aspiration.
After my Graduate certificate program, I wish to return home to Nigeria and take over the reins of management in my father’s business. I am so confident that with the knowledge and skills I will learn from this course, I will take my father’s business from being a medium scale business to a 21st Century Business Corporation.
I hereby undertake that I will observe the conditions of my visa, that I will not be a burden to the state and that I will leave the state on the expiry of my permission to remain if my visa application is granted.
Ok I will take a look at it in a bit and give you feedback. I'll be harsh though, excessively so dont be personally offended. Just trying to help
Avoid extremely exaggeration. Yes business may be changing but almost beyond recognition? If you really believe that state why.
Keep it personal. You are not advocating for your country, you are writing for yourself. Use singular pronouns.
Develop what skills in particular. What industry in particular? What is your 'background' and business that you need to update your skills for?
What are the numerous challenges you claim?
Again, don't use Nigerian Businessmen, use As a businessman in Nigeria I face.....
What are your 'goals'? And what can your Canadian Uni. provide that Nigeria can't?
What is your career?
Again, avoid exaggeration. We all need money, it is totally fine. Hyperbole like this makes you sound insincere
Talking about your father's business is good but what is the business? What are the challenges?
Seriously from small business to multinational corporation using a diploma...again not believable
This is fine but I am not sure Mohawk is top 20 research school....make sure
Don't say practical exposure unless you have a co-op element
What is your future aspiraction
Again stop saying corporation...in Canada that is used for businesses of an extremely large size.
State EXACTLY what you hope to hope to gain from this program to implement towards your business. "Using forecasting techniques taught in class X, I hope to mitigate risk in inventory purchase, depreciation...etc.etc..
You want to be technical enough to indicate that you are believable, have thought this through and have specific goals but generic enough to not confuse and connect with the reader who you should assume is not an expert in your field
Get rid of the last 2 lines.
Say thank you for your in reading my application
GOOD LUCK
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Thanks boss . Maybe when i get to the phase of writing another sop i would contact you.
Thanks alot