IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Milan Desai]

Topic: Some people believe that people should follow common manners for dinning and greeting when visiting foreign countries. Do you agree with this view.

A lion’s share of society thinks that individuals should follow good table manner while eating and meeting people particularly when exploring overseas nations, however the rest go averse it. I am completely accord with this above statement. The following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective with an apt example.

To embark, I see eye to eye with the central idea for various reasons. First and foremost, good manners alway makes for good impression as culinary habits and cultures are different in each nations. Hence, it can be very helpful to know how people abroad expect them to behave in public and having basic understanding of culture and eating habits can help avoid awkward misunderstandings for people. To exemplify it, in many western countries people used fork and knife while dining-out while most South Asian continents people used traditional method of eating with their bare hands.

Furthermore, while exploring many overseas territory learning basic rules and gesture of that country does not take much efforts as implementing them in practice will be rewarding as it touches every aspects of life. Consequently, one should respect culture and traditions of foreign nations in order to be accepted in too that environment and feel important part of it. For instance, in India younger one wait for older people to finish dinner before cleaning table just to show politeness toward seniors and feel proud of their rich culture and tradition.

To sum up, while exploring foreign destinations, people should show some etiquette and table manners in order to be accepted as a part of their culture and traditions

 

[EtaG]

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know about my Ielts journey... Sooo in the 13th attempt and after 3 EOR, I finally got my required band in 12 oct results. It was withheld due to quality check and I received the results on 31st October with the golden score

Over all -8

Listening-9

Reading -8.5

Writing-7

Speaking-7

I was never able to score 7 in writing, it was always 6 or 6.5, but this time I cracked it.. I can only say that Ielts liz’s paid advanced lessons are blessings. It has everything that you need to score 7+ in writing and trust me in my previous 12 attempts I always scored 6 or 6.5, however, after referring to her videos I got 7 and the way she explained in those videos are amazing and easy to understand.

So you guys don’t loss hope anyone who is struggling to get the score, you will get it. Keep working and pray for the best.

all the best everyone

Here is the link if anybody wants it-

https://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore

I know exactly how stressful and depressing it is to take multiple attempts, hence thought of sharing the same.

 

[cansha]

I am confused mostly in:

• In Agree or disagree type essay:

1. What should be the thesis statement?
2. Should we dedicate one BP for one reason/advantage?
3. Do we need to talk about the opposing idea? If yes, how much? A full BP or in only in the conclusion.

There is no one size fit all solution to any essay topic. It should make sense. I know not a very useful suggestion but I have read many essays here in which we get carried away and want to impress the examiner with English but essay doesn't really address the topic or is coherent.

Having said above, if an essay asks point blank whether you agree or disagree I would take a clear opinion and stick by it through out the essay. I would use the two body paragraphs to explain my point of view. You may or may not talk about opposing idea and depends on how you build the argument. When in doubt keep things simple.

​

• Same questions as above for To what extent do you agree.

• In Discuss and give you opinion.
  1. In which paragraph we give our opinion?
  2. When we write a body paragraph with which we agree, do we write in a way that I agree with the opinions presented here?
• In 'problems and solutions' AND 'reasons and opinions' essay.
  1. What is the thesis statement?
  2. What comes in the conclusion?
  3. Is a single reason or solution enough?
• Is a general line important in an introduction?
• Should we write a concluding line at the end of BPs?
• While some say Topic sentence should be a simple sentence which connects back to to the question, others say to start a BP with topic sentence and explanation should be combined in a complex sentence. Which way is more beneficial?

Sorry for the so many questions. I hope somebody will clear my doubts.

Read this post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-38#post-7269377

 

[cansha]

@cansha @H0peAndFa1th I have been silently reading this entire thread since yesterday after my EOR results didnt turn out to be as expected.
My first attempt score is LRWS 8.5 9 6.5 7. I see this is very common score and after going through all pages in this forum i understand that 6.5 is very common but 7 is tough. I also have followed @H0peAndFa1th journey and few others who benefited form your suggestions and feedback. i know you guys have long left this group but i need your help or for that matter anyone on this forum to please review my essay and give me feedback.

I'm still around but haven't reviewed essays in last 1-2 weeks. Thanks for everyone who were helping and reviewing each other's work. The thing that saddens me is that people don't really "read" or "incorporate" the feedback in their essays. I still see the same mistakes when the second and third essay is posted which basically tells me that they had already written the essays and they just keep posting them once they get one reviewed. If that is not the case then it is even more sad. But it is what it is.

Two main rules

1. Focus on task response. Issue with essays here is not bad English but bad logic, comprehension and lack of cohesion
2. If you don't follow rule 1 above doesn't matter what you do but scoring 7 would be difficult.

Okay now let's look at the essay.

Topic: Some people believe people should follow common manners for dinning and greeting when visiting foreign countries. Do you agree with this view.

Essay:
There are contrasting views while discussing whether people should follow general rules when in foreign countries. Does the topic say whether there are other set of people who don't believe it? Where is the contrast?
I agree that public Need a better word here
should follow local traditions and guidelines while in other countries because it not only helps surrounding people and themselves feel comfortable but also facilitates better collaboration. Okay so I like that you are trying to give a logic behind why you agree. And "feeling comfortable" is a good reason but "collaboration" is too far fetched. You are fishing for words without thinking what you want to write. In any case good thought but overall introduction is weak. Also refer this post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Following general norms in public places gives local people confidence about the situation and individuals and makes them feel at ease. People in different parts of world are culturally diverse and hence have difference in way they behave. Tourists not following the general way of life in visiting nations, creates unnecessary tensions. For example, in restaurant in western countries it is norm to use spoon and fork while dinning. People from countries like India using bare hands to eat food, attracts attention and makes people around uncomfortable. They also sometimes end up judging or reacting which make visitors feel out of place.

People following local traditions makes natives feel more inclusive and helps in working together. It makes public believe that person visiting respects their values and beliefs. This helps in increasing mutual understanding and interraction. It is frequently observed during foreign visits from national leaders that counterparts greet each other in their respective traditional way. For example, during president Donald Trump's last visit to India, handshake followed by hug during greeting session was very well received by Indians. This was because hugging a welcome visitor is considered as tradition in India and they felt that president was respecting it.
Without going in to the two paragraphs ... Where is the collaboration piece of your argument which you had in your introduction. I see the "feeilng comfortable" one but not "collaboration" anywhere. You see the issue. This is where your essay would "feel" incomplete to the reader.

In conclusion, I believe that by adhering to local guidelines and traditions helps in creating soothing environment for both natives and visitors moreover it helps create mutual respects eventually in better cooperation. Better cooperation how?

See there are no issues with your English ability. Issue is that you are writing an introduction and words but not backing them up. And that is where you lose points on Task response and C&C.

There are other issues as well like too much repetition of similar ideas and thoughts in BP but all that can be fixed once you have better content in terms of how exactly you are trying to answer the question asked. Hope this helps.

 

[Cyfa]

I'm still around but haven't reviewed essays in last 1-2 weeks. Thanks for everyone who were helping and reviewing each other's work. The thing that saddens me is that people don't really "read" or "incorporate" the feedback in their essays. I still see the same mistakes when the second and third essay is posted which basically tells me that they had already written the essays and they just keep posting them once they get one reviewed. If that is not the case then it is even more sad. But it is what it is.

Two main rules

1. Focus on task response. Issue with essays here is not bad English but bad logic, comprehension and lack of cohesion
2. If you don't follow rule 1 above doesn't matter what you do but scoring 7 would be difficult.

Okay now let's look at the essay.

Topic: Some people believe people should follow common manners for dinning and greeting when visiting foreign countries. Do you agree with this view.

Essay:
There are contrasting views while discussing whether people should follow general rules when in foreign countries. Does the topic say whether there are other set of people who don't believe it? Where is the contrast?
I agree that public Need a better word here
should follow local traditions and guidelines while in other countries because it not only helps surrounding people and themselves feel comfortable but also facilitates better collaboration. Okay so I like that you are trying to give a logic behind why you agree. And "feeling comfortable" is a good reason but "collaboration" is too far fetched. You are fishing for words without thinking what you want to write. In any case good thought but overall introduction is weak. Also refer this post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Following general norms in public places gives local people confidence about the situation and individuals and makes them feel at ease. People in different parts of world are culturally diverse and hence have difference in way they behave. Tourists not following the general way of life in visiting nations, creates unnecessary tensions. For example, in restaurant in western countries it is norm to use spoon and fork while dinning. People from countries like India using bare hands to eat food, attracts attention and makes people around uncomfortable. They also sometimes end up judging or reacting which make visitors feel out of place.

People following local traditions makes natives feel more inclusive and helps in working together. It makes public believe that person visiting respects their values and beliefs. This helps in increasing mutual understanding and interraction. It is frequently observed during foreign visits from national leaders that counterparts greet each other in their respective traditional way. For example, during president Donald Trump's last visit to India, handshake followed by hug during greeting session was very well received by Indians. This was because hugging a welcome visitor is considered as tradition in India and they felt that president was respecting it.
Without going in to the two paragraphs ... Where is the collaboration piece of your argument which you had in your introduction. I see the "feeilng comfortable" one but not "collaboration" anywhere. You see the issue. This is where your essay would "feel" incomplete to the reader.

In conclusion, I believe that by adhering to local guidelines and traditions helps in creating soothing environment for both natives and visitors moreover it helps create mutual respects eventually in better cooperation. Better cooperation how?

See there are no issues with your English ability. Issue is that you are writing an introduction and words but not backing them up. And that is where you lose points on Task response and C&C.

There are other issues as well like too much repetition of similar ideas and thoughts in BP but all that can be fixed once you have better content in terms of how exactly you are trying to answer the question asked. Hope this helps.

@cansha thanks for your time. Yes you are right when you said I am searching for words sometimes. Collaboration was in second para where I started with working together may be I should make it more clear. I now see example was bit out of place too. Also actual question did have other set of people against it but I get bigger picture of when to use “contrasting views” and where not to. Thanks again truly appreciate your help

 

[yoloraw]

Bold and Underlined part give an impression of repetition and lacking vocabulary.

A personal suggestion.. instead of youngsters you can use young adults when talking in context of working age. Youngsters in general is synonym of teenagers and they are expected to be studying not working.

Thank you for proper guidance:
Learnt things:
1. Use range of vocab, without excessive repetition.
2. Central meaning of paragraph(I appreciate how you highlighted last line of BP1)
3. Main part, some sentence ending were not complete, thanks for precisely illustrating ideas to end sentences with information.
4. Unexpected ending of BP2, I should have written complete reasoning here as well. (thanks for that as well).
5. You have removed word "To reiterate" and added "To conclude". Can you please guide why "To reiterate" is bad word choice here?
6. Also, you mentioned about (filler in my opinion not required), but question says discuss both views and give your opinion, using "while people may vary in their opinions" and then adding my opinion; is it not a good idea as per question?
7. In the last, I am thankful to you for the honest review. I was just gone out of phase, because of excessive thinking and trying to opt new methodologies. In the real test I got 7.5 twice, 7 twice, and sadly last two attempts 6.5. Because I over-complicated things.

Anyway thanks again.
(Y) (Y) (Y)

 

[yoloraw]

I'm still around but haven't reviewed essays in last 1-2 weeks. Thanks for everyone who were helping and reviewing each other's work. The thing that saddens me is that people don't really "read" or "incorporate" the feedback in their essays. I still see the same mistakes when the second and third essay is posted which basically tells me that they had already written the essays and they just keep posting them once they get one reviewed. If that is not the case then it is even more sad. But it is what it is.

Two main rules

1. Focus on task response. Issue with essays here is not bad English but bad logic, comprehension and lack of cohesion
2. If you don't follow rule 1 above doesn't matter what you do but scoring 7 would be difficult.

Okay now let's look at the essay.

Topic: Some people believe people should follow common manners for dinning and greeting when visiting foreign countries. Do you agree with this view.

Essay:
There are contrasting views while discussing whether people should follow general rules when in foreign countries. Does the topic say whether there are other set of people who don't believe it? Where is the contrast?
I agree that public Need a better word here
should follow local traditions and guidelines while in other countries because it not only helps surrounding people and themselves feel comfortable but also facilitates better collaboration. Okay so I like that you are trying to give a logic behind why you agree. And "feeling comfortable" is a good reason but "collaboration" is too far fetched. You are fishing for words without thinking what you want to write. In any case good thought but overall introduction is weak. Also refer this post https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Following general norms in public places gives local people confidence about the situation and individuals and makes them feel at ease. People in different parts of world are culturally diverse and hence have difference in way they behave. Tourists not following the general way of life in visiting nations, creates unnecessary tensions. For example, in restaurant in western countries it is norm to use spoon and fork while dinning. People from countries like India using bare hands to eat food, attracts attention and makes people around uncomfortable. They also sometimes end up judging or reacting which make visitors feel out of place.

People following local traditions makes natives feel more inclusive and helps in working together. It makes public believe that person visiting respects their values and beliefs. This helps in increasing mutual understanding and interraction. It is frequently observed during foreign visits from national leaders that counterparts greet each other in their respective traditional way. For example, during president Donald Trump's last visit to India, handshake followed by hug during greeting session was very well received by Indians. This was because hugging a welcome visitor is considered as tradition in India and they felt that president was respecting it.
Without going in to the two paragraphs ... Where is the collaboration piece of your argument which you had in your introduction. I see the "feeilng comfortable" one but not "collaboration" anywhere. You see the issue. This is where your essay would "feel" incomplete to the reader.

In conclusion, I believe that by adhering to local guidelines and traditions helps in creating soothing environment for both natives and visitors moreover it helps create mutual respects eventually in better cooperation. Better cooperation how?

See there are no issues with your English ability. Issue is that you are writing an introduction and words but not backing them up. And that is where you lose points on Task response and C&C.

There are other issues as well like too much repetition of similar ideas and thoughts in BP but all that can be fixed once you have better content in terms of how exactly you are trying to answer the question asked. Hope this helps.

I am thankful to your efforts @cansha, I totally agree with you that people need to "incorporate" the feedback instead of writing the new one.

What I generally do is; Instead of posting new essays, I try to read feedbacks given on other essays. Which ultimately enhances my understanding towards common mistakes. My advice to people here is to understand the requirements of the IELTS and learn from your own issues. Try to improve by practicing while incorporating the key aspects of the given feedback. In other words, focus on quality instead of quantity.

 

[cansha]

@cansha thanks for your time. Yes you are right when you said I am searching for words sometimes. Collaboration was in second para where I started with working together may be I should make it more clear. I now see example was bit out of place too. Also actual question did have other set of people against it but I get bigger picture of when to use “contrasting views” and where not to. Thanks again truly appreciate your help

I think even the essay topic is quite vague and I find such essay topics relatively difficult. One suggestion I would give is that keep ideas simple and they should not seem like a stretch.

For example let's say I say hello to you in your language ... Yes it may help break the ice but it may not necessarily lead to better collaboration. Think about it in your office everyone speaks the same language and has the same greetings but does it mean everyone "colloborates". That's what I call a "stretch" argument. And I see many of those here. The issue is once you mention a reason like that you will find it difficult to come up with good examples. The idea itself is not wrong if you limit it to say "breaking the ice ".
Again that's my personal opinion and you may (or anyone else) can disagree. But I think if you keep your ideas in logical progression more often than not you will have a good task response.

All the best and come back with another essay next time. Let's nail the task response first and then we will focus on a few more minor things.

 

[Cyfa]

@cansha , Attempt #2 on this thread

Topic: Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay:
It is observed globally that women are taking up full time jobs and hence many believe it is right for men to contribute equally in household tasks. I strongly agree with this statement because it will help reduce physical stress on women and improve relationship between them.


Many of activities at home require physical strength and sharing them reduces the load on one individual. Full time job takes its toll on women's health as they have to work equally hard at home after office hours. According to survey, women are more prone to physical injuries especially in spine and knee. Many of these injuries are owing to standing long hours while cooking or cleaning. It is always encouraging to have support from extra pair of hands and men can ease some pressure by taking up tasks which requires more physical exertion.


Another positive outcome of sharing workload is that it completes the job in hand faster, allowing men and women to spend quality time together. For example, I try to clean up kitchen while my wife does the dishes. This helps us wind up our post dinner cleaning task so we can sit together and share our experience from day. This has greatly helped our relationship. Moreover, men helping in household activities, exhibits care and affection towards their counterpart.


To conclude, I completely support the idea of men and women splitting up tasks at home as this will help in physical well-being of women and bring them emotionally closer to each other.

 

[AB17]

Thank you for proper guidance:
Learnt things:
1. Use range of vocab, without excessive repetition.
2. Central meaning of paragraph(I appreciate how you highlighted last line of BP1)
3. Main part, some sentence ending were not complete, thanks for precisely illustrating ideas to end sentences with information.
4. Unexpected ending of BP2, I should have written complete reasoning here as well. (thanks for that as well).
5. You have removed word "To reiterate" and added "To conclude". Can you please guide why "To reiterate" is bad word choice here?
6. Also, you mentioned about (filler in my opinion not required), but question says discuss both views and give your opinion, using "while people may vary in their opinions" and then adding my opinion; is it not a good idea as per question?
7. In the last, I am thankful to you for the honest review. I was just gone out of phase, because of excessive thinking and trying to opt new methodologies. In the real test I got 7.5 twice, 7 twice, and sadly last two attempts 6.5. Because I over-complicated things.

Anyway thanks again.
(Y) (Y) (Y)

Its probably my understanding that they are different.. In conclusion you reiterate or reinstate your main points in addition to the final word(opinion). But saying "to reiterate" means you are not concluding only re-telling your main points. That's why, I always prefer "In conclusion".

Where did you lost your mojo buddy?

Don't let so-called-best formats available online to ruin your write up, go back to what you did in your first few attempts. Yes, keep it simple answer the question. Task is the main ingredient. Linking words and Vocab are the flavorings... What i see essays posted here and probably i myself fell prey of is focus on flavorings and not on the man ingredient....

 

[Cyfa]

Hi @AB17 can you please review my essay one post before. Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks

 

[yoloraw]

Its probably my understanding that they are different.. In conclusion you reiterate or reinstate your main points in addition to the final word(opinion). But saying "to reiterate" means you are not concluding only re-telling your main points. That's why, I always prefer "In conclusion".

Where did you lost your mojo buddy?

Don't let so-called-best formats available online to ruin your write up, go back to what you did in your first few attempts. Yes, keep it simple answer the question. Task is the main ingredient. Linking words and Vocab are the flavorings... What i see essays posted here and probably i myself fell prey of is focus on flavorings and not on the man ingredient....

Thanks dear for the comments,
I understand your point about reiterate, I was lazy enough to search exact meaning. Now picture is clear, btw we can we To conclude in Opinion essays and reiterate in case of adv. Dis., discuss both sides.

My scenario is so weird; always less .5 in any of the modules; speaking, writing, reading or listening.

Today I got result as:
L 8.5,
R 6.5
W7
S 7
Admittedly, this exam was tough. Anyway working hard to achieve this asap.

Thanks and keep up the good work

 

[AB17]

@cansha , Attempt #2 on this thread

Topic: Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay:
It is observed globally that women are taking up full time jobs and hence many believe it is right/ would be appropriate for men to contribute equally in household tasks. I strongly agree with this statement because it will help reduce physical stress on women and improve relationship between them/ give opportunity to married couples to spend more time together. (them is a pronoun, you have to introduce who "them" are before using it)

Many of activities at home require physical strength and sharing them reduces the load on one individual. Full time job takes its toll on women's health as they have to work equally hard at home after office hours. According to (a) survey, women are more prone to physical injuries especially in spine and knee. Many of these injuries are owing to standing long hours while cooking or cleaning. It is always encouraging to have support from extra pair of hands and men can ease some pressure by taking up tasks which requires more physical exertion.


Another positive outcome of sharing workload is that it completes the job in hand faster, allowing men and women to spend quality time together. For example, I try to clean up kitchen while my wife does the dishes. This helps us wind up our post dinner cleaning task so we can sit together and share our experience from day. This has greatly helped our relationship. Moreover, men helping in household activities, exhibits care and affection towards their counterpart./other half


To conclude, I completely support the idea of men and women splitting up tasks at home as this will help in physical well-being of women and bring them emotionally closer to each other.

Good one! Dont know if it meets the word count. However, i would say in some places improvement is needed. Like when you mentioned "sharing workload" its actually sharing household work. (Workload - doing office work)
Another one...Takes a Toll... Is informal. Allblue marked are informal.

 

[Vyn]

Kindly mark my work. What band score would i have with my essay. Thank you all for helping.

Question:

Ordinary people try to copy people either reading magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this. Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people.

Answers

It is becoming a trend now for the public to follow and imitate celebrities world-wide. Due to the influences of the well-known individuals, some of the population tends to copy them. In my own opinion, I am not agreeable to this but will state the pros and cons of the statement.


To start with, average people tend to idolise famous personality to increase inner self and confidence. There were studies conducted and it have shown that people, when inspired and motivated, highly increases their self-esteem and self-worth. Moreover, it also improves the lifestyle and attitude of some followers. For example, a famous athlete could showcase his exercise regime on social or print media, the follower will learn that and will start to apply it in his life. With all these reasons, it is beneficial for the common people to copy personalities.


On the other hand, there are drawbacks with this mindset too. There were celebrities who were not a good model. Some were involved in inappropriate activities such as involvement in illegal drugs, drink driving, and malicious behaviours. With these reasons, followers who likes to imitate celebrities with this type of character is not a good idea. With this kind of model, it will reflect the followers’ perception of what is right and wrong. In the end, his life will be ruined and there is a high chance that he will lose track of his life toward a positive and fulfilling future.


To summarise, in my own opinion, people should have their own identity and not imitate anyone. Public could look up at famous people, but still bearing in mind that each person was created uniquely, and not all are having the same personality. Having said that, it is still great to be as the person as you are and not conceal or change the real you.

 

[Milan Desai]

Kindly mark my writing @cansha @H0peAndFa1th and @yoloraw
Thanks in advance.

Question: some people believe that government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Other think that building more wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.

Traffic jams in many nations around the world is severe. It is commonly believed that the best way to minimize a traffic problems is by constructing more train and metro lines, while there are others who think that traffic congestion can be solved by developing better roadways. In my opinion, developing new infrastructures like train and metro is more beneficial to individuals than having wider highways.

On one hand, developing more infrastructure facilities likes train and subway systems help to cut down the bottlenecks because it allows people to use these alternative means of transportation rather than using their own vehicles. If public transportation services are provided free of cost and their frequency is increased, few people will want to drive their personal vehicles. This will theoretically reduce the numbers of cars on roads and diminish traffic congestion. For instance, Delhi has opted for Metro services, as long-term solution to the issues of mounting traffic.

On the other hand, some scholars claim that increasing road space is one of the effective ways to reduce traffic congestion. Constructing wider roads can solve traffic problems because it allows traffic to move more easily. Building a new highway entirely adds capacity to road systems and thus improved road journey for commuters. For example, 8 out of 10 daily commuters preferred to travel by freeway than by trains or metro as it is a more time-saving and effective way of transportation.

In conclusion, traffic congestion has become a global issue around the world. It is my opinion that instead of increasing road space to diminish traffic jams, the government should try to build new infrastructure facilities likes metro and trains because it is more reliable and effective.