Ahh I can finally leave this thread and stop driving myself crazy.
Here's my complete timeline for a Master's from the UK-
13 May - University sent documents out from London
24 May - WES update - your documents have been received
31 May - WES update - your documents have been received
30 June - WES update - your documents have been accepted, your report is due on 22 July
21 July - WES update - your report is under final review
22 July - WES update - your report is available
So yeah... there was one whole month with no updates, I emailed, messaged on Facebook, messaged on Twitter, and got very generic responses. I logged in every day, multiple times a day, only to see no update. I wish I could have just forgotten about it until I got my report, but that's easier said than done
On to the next set of documents to drive myself crazy with....