Dears, I have only 3 days left.
Please kindly advise if I'm any closer to band 7.
Some teachers tend to reward students who achieve high academic results. Others, however, support and reward students that show the most improvement.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is a common practice to have a reward system within educational institutions all over the world. An overwhelming number of schools have adopted a policy of rewarding students with the highest grades, while there are some that encourage improvement rather than scores gained. In my opinion, despite the merits of the former approach, such as formation of a competitive environment, rewarding positive changes is more beneficial from the perspective of an individual’s development.
On the one hand, it is thought by some, that supporting top grades results in schoolchildren’s eagerness to be the best in class. Children may wish to get outstanding marks, shall they notice that it is encouraged by the professors. As a result, this can lead to healthy competition among classmates, when each pupil will tend (tends) to learn as much as possible to score the most. A recent study by the faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University has proven that a competitive environment among children can result in an improvement of their performance by up to 35%.
On the other hand, many believe that appreciation of schoolchildren’s individual improvement is more effective, as it promotes their personal growth. Children are considered to be mentally vulnerable and fragile and, therefore, it is important for them to feel adults’ support when they make an effort, even if the result is not material. In contrary (had to be "on the contrary", though I'm not sure if I can use that expression here), a child might stop making any attempt to gain knowledge if he or she receives no positive reaction from the teacher. This means that shall the teacher want to encourage pupils to be proactive and interested, they would need to notice and reward every student’s improvement. The research conducted by The New York Times in April 2018 has shown that 60% of American parents would prefer their heir to be graded by the above-mentioned method, to what I agree.
To conclude, in my opinion, though some teachers would rather reward top performers within the class, promotion of improvement is more useful, as it can make students want to improve themselves.
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13 sentences, 337 words.
I suppose my sentences are too long (26 words on average), do I need to somehow break them down or cut?
Also, my 2nd body paragraph appeared to be much longer than the 1st one, though I support the idea in the second paragraph. Can this be a problem?
Thanks in advance!
