Thanks for the valuable feedback as usual. I could have easily changed the structure of the sentence(s) to avoid that them/they/their confusion. Will take care of it.
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
It is good to see both @cansha and @H0peAndFa1th having a go at it. Here is what I have today. Please give a band prediction as well. I am appearing on Sunday.
Some people argue that the fittest, strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think that success is as much related to mental attitude.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The players from different sports need a certain level of fitness to perform on field. However, it is a matter of debate whether physical fitness or mental attitude is the defining quality of a successful sports person. In my opinion, the players need both physical sturdiness as well as mental resilience to perform at an optimum level.
Games are a test of physical capabilities so the players have to be physically strong. Be it indoor or outdoor, most of the games require a lot of physical activity. It is in fact a test of who is more sturdy or agile at the field. Christiano Ronaldo at 34 is the world’s best football player and studies have found that he can easily give a 20-year-old athlete a run for his money when it comes to physical capabilities. This proves that physical toughness goes a long way in determining the success of a sportsman.
All players go through a bad patch in their careers and it is the mental attitude that keeps them motivated in overcoming failures. There is no successful athlete in the world that hasn’t gone through a bad patch. In fact, the very thing that makes a world-class player different from an inconsistent performer is mental toughness. To name a few, Sachin Tendulkar, Wasim Akram and Lionel Messi are sports superstars that have time and time again proven that with the right attitude, a bad patch can be overcome.
In conclusion, I believe that it is very important for the athletes to have both physical ability as well as mental resilience. Not only will this help them in defeating the competition, but also in retaining their success.
Some people argue that the fittest, strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think that success is as much related to mental attitude.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The players from different sports need a certain level of fitness to perform on field. However, it is a matter of debate whether physical fitness or mental attitude is the defining quality of a successful sports person. In my opinion, the players need both physical sturdiness as well as mental resilience to perform at an optimum level.
Games are a test of physical capabilities so the players have to be physically strong. Be it indoor or outdoor, most of the games require a lot of physical activity. It is in fact a test of who is more sturdy or agile at the field. Christiano Ronaldo at 34 is the world’s best football player and studies have found that he can easily give a 20-year-old athlete a run for his money when it comes to physical capabilities. This proves that physical toughness goes a long way in determining the success of a sportsman.
All players go through a bad patch in their careers and it is the mental attitude that keeps them motivated in overcoming failures. There is no successful athlete in the world that hasn’t gone through a bad patch. In fact, the very thing that makes a world-class player different from an inconsistent performer is mental toughness. To name a few, Sachin Tendulkar, Wasim Akram and Lionel Messi are sports superstars that have time and time again proven that with the right attitude, a bad patch can be overcome.
In conclusion, I believe that it is very important for the athletes to have both physical ability as well as mental resilience. Not only will this help them in defeating the competition, but also in retaining their success.
@cansha ,@H0peAndFa1th Could you please evaluate my essay when u get some time. Thanks in advance
Now-a-days celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present days, popular personalities are more attractive for their glamorous looks and economic well-being compared to their success of work. This trend does not show a positive perspective about life to youth. I completely advocate this statement because the youngsters try to mimic notable personalities and they think earning money is more important than enjoying work-life.
The youth will imitate famous figures lifestyle. These young people buy expensive clothes and maintain attractive appearance. The young will spend more money on fashionable outfits and visit branded saloons for improving their looks. For instance, a recent survey conducted by a national newspaper shows that eighty-five percent of youth are expressing interest to allocate some budget to shopping and grooming. This makes the youth vulnerable to deplete their financial resources and will not bring any improvements in their daily routine.
In addition to the above mentioned reasons, the youth may think that making huge money is vital to one's success and ignore to enjoy their work to optimum levels. So these people do monotonous work to increase their earnings rather than enjoying quality of work. Personally I have seen many people who are inspired by wealth achievers, are working more number of hours to showcase their financial status and not focusing on qualitative outcome of the work.
In conclusion, stars make a big impact on young generation and they are known for their glamorous appearance and economical stature. Thus, inspiration from them on appearance and wealthy assets is not a great path to follow. Instead, youth should follow their passion towards work which make them realise that facial features and rich in money are materialistic factors.
Now-a-days celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present days, popular personalities are more attractive for their glamorous looks and economic well-being compared to their success of work. This trend does not show a positive perspective about life to youth. I completely advocate this statement because the youngsters try to mimic notable personalities and they think earning money is more important than enjoying work-life.
The youth will imitate famous figures lifestyle. These young people buy expensive clothes and maintain attractive appearance. The young will spend more money on fashionable outfits and visit branded saloons for improving their looks. For instance, a recent survey conducted by a national newspaper shows that eighty-five percent of youth are expressing interest to allocate some budget to shopping and grooming. This makes the youth vulnerable to deplete their financial resources and will not bring any improvements in their daily routine.
In addition to the above mentioned reasons, the youth may think that making huge money is vital to one's success and ignore to enjoy their work to optimum levels. So these people do monotonous work to increase their earnings rather than enjoying quality of work. Personally I have seen many people who are inspired by wealth achievers, are working more number of hours to showcase their financial status and not focusing on qualitative outcome of the work.
In conclusion, stars make a big impact on young generation and they are known for their glamorous appearance and economical stature. Thus, inspiration from them on appearance and wealthy assets is not a great path to follow. Instead, youth should follow their passion towards work which make them realise that facial features and rich in money are materialistic factors.
Please help me to evaluate this essay
Some people say that a person's success is a result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree
Upbringing during a child formative years is certainly important. For thus reason, some people argue that the success of a person depends on how they were brought up. I strongly disagree with this notion, as hard work and preserverance is a key factor in becoming a successful person.
Hard work is a major factor when it comes to success. A person might be brought up in a proper way with good ethical and moral behavior, but, if that person is not hard working it will not amount to success. A fundamental reason for this is that one success depends largely on the amount of work they put in, rather than the upbringing they had. For instance, George "Babe" Ruth who was not raised up in the best possible way still became a success due to his hard work.
Perseverance is a steadfast and never give up attitude that is an essential element needed to achieve a high level of success. This is a skill that cannot be taught by parents during the process of bringing up a child. One will have to learn to persistent themselves, thus, the reason why the success of a person does not depend on their parents upbringing.
In conclusion, despite the importance of parents upbringing during the early stages of one's life, the success of a person is greatly attributed to thier hard work and perseverance.
Some people say that a person's success is a result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree
Upbringing during a child formative years is certainly important. For thus reason, some people argue that the success of a person depends on how they were brought up. I strongly disagree with this notion, as hard work and preserverance is a key factor in becoming a successful person.
Hard work is a major factor when it comes to success. A person might be brought up in a proper way with good ethical and moral behavior, but, if that person is not hard working it will not amount to success. A fundamental reason for this is that one success depends largely on the amount of work they put in, rather than the upbringing they had. For instance, George "Babe" Ruth who was not raised up in the best possible way still became a success due to his hard work.
Perseverance is a steadfast and never give up attitude that is an essential element needed to achieve a high level of success. This is a skill that cannot be taught by parents during the process of bringing up a child. One will have to learn to persistent themselves, thus, the reason why the success of a person does not depend on their parents upbringing.
In conclusion, despite the importance of parents upbringing during the early stages of one's life, the success of a person is greatly attributed to thier hard work and perseverance.
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@cansha @H0peAndFa1th kindly evaluate my letter
Writing task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Describe the complaints that have been made
Say why the reception area is important
Suggest how the reception area could be improved
Write a least 150 words
You do not need to write any addressed.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ………….,
I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions regarding complaints lodged about the reception of our Design printing company over the past two months and how to address them.
In our company complaint box, many visitors have expressed their dissatisfaction about certain things, and few major issue among them are pertaining to receptionist is not cooperative with the visitors and inadequate design samples that we have for demonstration which is currently we don’t have enough.
Visitors and clients are coming to our office on daily basis. Receiving and acknowledging them with the well manner can bring us more business. Moreover, newcomers to our office will usually interact with our receptionist, notice the interior built of our reception, look for varieties of design cards with different color patterns, which in turn attracts them and helps us to business our products.
Thus, having an altered and newly painted reception with various design cards for demo is important to cover more clients. And, it is equally significant to employ right candidate as receptionist who has good insight in client approach and card business.
Hope, you will consider my suggestion and fix the complaints about our reception soon.
Regards,
Noor
Writing task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Describe the complaints that have been made
Say why the reception area is important
Suggest how the reception area could be improved
Write a least 150 words
You do not need to write any addressed.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ………….,
I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions regarding complaints lodged about the reception of our Design printing company over the past two months and how to address them.
In our company complaint box, many visitors have expressed their dissatisfaction about certain things, and few major issue among them are pertaining to receptionist is not cooperative with the visitors and inadequate design samples that we have for demonstration which is currently we don’t have enough.
Visitors and clients are coming to our office on daily basis. Receiving and acknowledging them with the well manner can bring us more business. Moreover, newcomers to our office will usually interact with our receptionist, notice the interior built of our reception, look for varieties of design cards with different color patterns, which in turn attracts them and helps us to business our products.
Thus, having an altered and newly painted reception with various design cards for demo is important to cover more clients. And, it is equally significant to employ right candidate as receptionist who has good insight in client approach and card business.
Hope, you will consider my suggestion and fix the complaints about our reception soon.
Regards,
Noor
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You need to work on your intro, it doesn't have the 'attention-catching' spark that it should, for a 7 I mean.
First Body Paragraph: It should be 'on the field' I believe and not 'at the field'.
Second Body Paragraph: Your example is vague and not proper. The examiner may not know the names you have provided, more importantly, you need to describe in detail what made them different from other players in regards with their mentality in order to fully support your argument.
I think you need to focus on society's point of view and not yours when writing the body paragraphs, you need to put more weight-age on each equally if that makes sense. Remember that first you have to discuss 'both' point of views and only then your opinion. Start the body paragraph with "Some are of the opinion" or "A section of society believes/holds the view" etc. Also remember that there are different type of examples you can give, you can even give personal examples, like view of your friends or your parents or your relatives, that will make your example more stronger. Just my two cents in the end.
@artificial.nocturne kindly evaluate my letter below
kindly evaluate my letter
Writing task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Describe the complaints that have been made
Say why the reception area is important
Suggest how the reception area could be improved
Write a least 150 words
You do not need to write any addressed.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ………….,
I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions regarding complaints lodged about the reception of our Design printing company over the past two months and how to address them.
In our company complaint box, many visitors have expressed their dissatisfaction about certain things, and few major issue among them are pertaining to receptionist is not cooperative with the visitors and inadequate design samples that we have for demonstration which is currently we don’t have enough.
Visitors and clients are coming to our office on daily basis. Receiving and acknowledging them with the well manner can bring us more business. Moreover, newcomers to our office will usually interact with our receptionist, notice the interior built of our reception, look for varieties of design cards with different color patterns, which in turn attracts them and helps us to business our products.
Thus, having an altered and newly painted reception with various design cards for demo is important to cover more clients. And, it is equally significant to employ right candidate as receptionist who has good insight in client approach and card business.
Hope, you will consider my suggestion and fix the complaints about our reception soon.
Regards,
Noor
kindly evaluate my letter
Writing task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Describe the complaints that have been made
Say why the reception area is important
Suggest how the reception area could be improved
Write a least 150 words
You do not need to write any addressed.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ………….,
I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions regarding complaints lodged about the reception of our Design printing company over the past two months and how to address them.
In our company complaint box, many visitors have expressed their dissatisfaction about certain things, and few major issue among them are pertaining to receptionist is not cooperative with the visitors and inadequate design samples that we have for demonstration which is currently we don’t have enough.
Visitors and clients are coming to our office on daily basis. Receiving and acknowledging them with the well manner can bring us more business. Moreover, newcomers to our office will usually interact with our receptionist, notice the interior built of our reception, look for varieties of design cards with different color patterns, which in turn attracts them and helps us to business our products.
Thus, having an altered and newly painted reception with various design cards for demo is important to cover more clients. And, it is equally significant to employ right candidate as receptionist who has good insight in client approach and card business.
Hope, you will consider my suggestion and fix the complaints about our reception soon.
Regards,
Noor
Dear ………….,
I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions regarding complaints (that were) lodged about the reception of our Design printing company over the past two months and (how we should address them).
In our company complaint box, many visitors have expressed their dissatisfaction (regarding various) things, and (a few) major issues among them are pertaining to (the) receptionist (not being) cooperative with the visitors and inadequate design samples that we have for demonstration which is currently we don’t have enough. (this sentence is grammatically incorrect, either don't write this or find another way to convey the same idea).
Visitors and clients are coming to our office on a daily basis. Receiving and acknowledging (welcoming) them with the well manner (instead write 'a positive attitude') can bring us more business (help us gain more profits or help us maximize our yearly profit). Moreover, newcomers to our office will usually interact with our receptionist, notice the interior built of our reception, look for varieties of design cards with different color patterns, which in turn attracts them and helps us to business (market/advertise) our products.
Thus, having an altered and newly painted (renovated) reception with various design cards for demo ('for demonstration' or 'as sample') is important (crucial) to cover (attract) more clients. And, it is equally significant to employ the right candidate with the right attitude as a receptionist who has good insight in client approach and card business (not sure what this means???, please find a better way to put across your idea)
I hope you will consider my advice and take due action.
Regards, (Please be careful, you will never write or use the word 'regards' in these letters, if it is a casual or semi-formal letter you can use "Yours sincerely'' and when it comes to formal letters meaning where you start the letter with Dear Sir/Madam - especially where you don't know the name of the person the letter is addressed to, then you will always close the letter with "Yours faithfully" )
Overall you are having a lot of problem with fluency, you are not able able to convey your ideas in the perfect way. This is not a small problem and you need to work on it, if you can't or don't know to insert tricky or fancy words correctly and where in a sentence then better to not use them altogether, as you will just confuse yourself and the examiner, but in this scenario actually the words you used are pretty mediocre and not extra-ordinary, you need to work hard especially if you plan to get a 7 in Writing.
@artificial.nocturne Thanks for your evaluation and comments. As you said am focusing on improving my vocabulary and grammar. Hope, I will post more here my letters and essays.
@artificial.nocturne My test is on Sunday. Can you please evaluate this essay (writing task 2) for me?
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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Staying in a country that speaks a different language than one knows can potentially cause multiple social and practical issues. I believe that even though this language barrier can lead to grave social challenges on a daily basis, the practical aspects of it can still be overcome because of the advancements in modern technology.
To start with, the main reason for a foreign language causing social problems is that the difference in languages goes hand in hand with differences in cultures. Countries speaking different languages invariably have very different and contrasting acceptable cultural norms and have their own unique do's and don'ts which should be adhered to. Additionally, the language nuances of a native speaker would not be understood by someone who either cannot speak the language at all or if someone has a very basic understanding of the native language. For example, there are many words in the English language, example "rubber", which have completely different meanings in the US or UK when compared to other countries where English is not a native language. Similarly, some hand gestures like a sign for asking for a lift in a vehicle is benign in most countries but is considered very offensive in most Middle Eastern countries. So we see that no matter how much proficient one is in the foreign language, one can not escape making a small faux pas at best and grave social mistakes at worst, on a daily basis.
On the other hand, as far as the practical issues are concerned that one might face on a daily basis, due to modern technology aids, it is quite possible to an extent to mitigate or overcome those issues if one is resourceful. For example, most smartphones now have multiple apps which can translate between languages and thus make it easy to communicate simple requests to a native speaker. Google maps can be used to find directions in one's own language without the need to communicate with someone else. Restaurants reviews can be accessed on apps like Yelp, Foursquare etc.
In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement. While the chances of making serious social mistakes are more and quite unavoidable for a nonnative speaker, the practical problems that one might face on a daily basis can be easily overcome with the use of technology and other technological aids.
(379 words)
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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Staying in a country that speaks a different language than one knows can potentially cause multiple social and practical issues. I believe that even though this language barrier can lead to grave social challenges on a daily basis, the practical aspects of it can still be overcome because of the advancements in modern technology.
To start with, the main reason for a foreign language causing social problems is that the difference in languages goes hand in hand with differences in cultures. Countries speaking different languages invariably have very different and contrasting acceptable cultural norms and have their own unique do's and don'ts which should be adhered to. Additionally, the language nuances of a native speaker would not be understood by someone who either cannot speak the language at all or if someone has a very basic understanding of the native language. For example, there are many words in the English language, example "rubber", which have completely different meanings in the US or UK when compared to other countries where English is not a native language. Similarly, some hand gestures like a sign for asking for a lift in a vehicle is benign in most countries but is considered very offensive in most Middle Eastern countries. So we see that no matter how much proficient one is in the foreign language, one can not escape making a small faux pas at best and grave social mistakes at worst, on a daily basis.
On the other hand, as far as the practical issues are concerned that one might face on a daily basis, due to modern technology aids, it is quite possible to an extent to mitigate or overcome those issues if one is resourceful. For example, most smartphones now have multiple apps which can translate between languages and thus make it easy to communicate simple requests to a native speaker. Google maps can be used to find directions in one's own language without the need to communicate with someone else. Restaurants reviews can be accessed on apps like Yelp, Foursquare etc.
In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement. While the chances of making serious social mistakes are more and quite unavoidable for a nonnative speaker, the practical problems that one might face on a daily basis can be easily overcome with the use of technology and other technological aids.
(379 words)
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@artificial.nocturne @cansha @H0peAndFa1th Kindly take time to evaluate the below essay, my exam is next week.
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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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There is an increasing belief that the number of options to choose from has increased multifold in every aspect of daily life. I fully agree with this statement that in every small or big decision that we need to make on a daily basis, we are flooded with an overwhelmingly large number of options to choose from!
To start with, the most glaring example of an area that is flooded with innumerable choices is the apparel and clothing business. As soon as we start our day, we have to choose between so many options about what to wear for the day. I personally have to decide between shirts, trousers, jeans, shoes, jewelry, accessories, eyewear etc. I believe the main reasons for this is the combination of an increase in the advertisements, combined with the simultaneous increase in spending power, thus allowing people to know about and own more and more items for their daily use.
Another area which gives us innumerable choices is the food business. In older days the range of cuisines in any particular city would be limited with only the native dishes in any area but lately, there has been an explosion of sorts in the varieties of cuisines and restaurants that offer those cuisines in a city. A prime example of this would be visible in the online apps like Zomato which lists at least dozens of dishes and cuisines that one can order. Likewise, any reasonably populated city would have dozens of restaurants within a five-mile radius, each with a different cuisine from a different part of the world. The main reason for this is the steady influx of people from one country to another, thus any major city has people from almost all parts of the world.
In conclusion, we see that almost every major aspect of our life like eating, drinking, clothing etc has been flooded with choices. There are multiple more areas like what to watch, how to travel, mode of communication, mode of entertainment where we see the same increase in options. All of these can be attributed to increased globalization, the influx of people between countries and increase in their spending power. A mix of all of these factors creates an economy that provides a huge number of choices to people.
(381 words)
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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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There is an increasing belief that the number of options to choose from has increased multifold in every aspect of daily life. I fully agree with this statement that in every small or big decision that we need to make on a daily basis, we are flooded with an overwhelmingly large number of options to choose from!
To start with, the most glaring example of an area that is flooded with innumerable choices is the apparel and clothing business. As soon as we start our day, we have to choose between so many options about what to wear for the day. I personally have to decide between shirts, trousers, jeans, shoes, jewelry, accessories, eyewear etc. I believe the main reasons for this is the combination of an increase in the advertisements, combined with the simultaneous increase in spending power, thus allowing people to know about and own more and more items for their daily use.
Another area which gives us innumerable choices is the food business. In older days the range of cuisines in any particular city would be limited with only the native dishes in any area but lately, there has been an explosion of sorts in the varieties of cuisines and restaurants that offer those cuisines in a city. A prime example of this would be visible in the online apps like Zomato which lists at least dozens of dishes and cuisines that one can order. Likewise, any reasonably populated city would have dozens of restaurants within a five-mile radius, each with a different cuisine from a different part of the world. The main reason for this is the steady influx of people from one country to another, thus any major city has people from almost all parts of the world.
In conclusion, we see that almost every major aspect of our life like eating, drinking, clothing etc has been flooded with choices. There are multiple more areas like what to watch, how to travel, mode of communication, mode of entertainment where we see the same increase in options. All of these can be attributed to increased globalization, the influx of people between countries and increase in their spending power. A mix of all of these factors creates an economy that provides a huge number of choices to people.
(381 words)
First of all, your word count is too much, you need to cut down on it. This might not set a good impression on the examiner. Besides you won't have a lot of time to write so much during the Writing Exam, you don't wanna start something you can't finish. Personally I always recommend candidates to write a maximum of 280-300 words. That is more than enough. Now let's begin evaluating your essay.
1st Paragraph:-
Staying in a country that speaks a different language than one knows can potentially cause multiple social and practical issues. I believe that even though this language barrier can lead to grave social challenges on a daily basis, the practical aspects of it can still be overcome because of the advancements in modern technology.
I would not recommend you using staying as a synonym for living. For reference read up more on it at https://www.learnenglish.de/mistakes/livevsstay.html. Your intro need to be like a breath of fresh air for the examiner. It's like where you set everything in motion, so write it nicely and give it sort of a punch, a kick in the brain, so it wakes up the reader write away mentally and catches his/her attention.
I would have written it something like this:-
It has always been a matter of great debate whether residing in a nation where the spoken language is different than yours is a feasible idea or not. I agree that although it can be difficult socially, but nonetheless modern gadgets and devices can help one to settle in smoothly.
2nd Paragraph:-
I personally do not like using 'To start with" but I rather prefer "To begin with'
To start(begin) with, the main reason for a foreign language causing social problems is that the difference in languages goes hand in hand with differences in cultures. Countries speaking different languages invariably have very different and contrasting (very different and contrasting have the same meaning, please use either different or contrasting but not both) acceptable cultural norms and have their own unique do's and don'ts which should be adhered to. Additionally, the language nuances of a native speaker would not be understood by someone who either cannot speak the language at all or if someone has a very basic understanding of the native language (too many words used to describe an idea, you can simply say "someone who is not familiar with the language). For example (instead of using for example like everybody else try other different ways to state an example e.g. "For instance" - refer to ieltsliz linking words for more ways), there are many words in the English language, example (use this properly like say "For example" not just example) "rubber", which have (has) a completely different meaning in the US or UK when compared to other countries where English is not a native language. Similarly, some hand gestures like a(the) sign for asking for a lift in a vehicle is benign in most countries but is considered very(please do not use the word 'very' a lot, actually i recommend not to use it at all, I am sure the examiners are tired of reading it, it so over-used and cliche, instead use 'quite' like 'quite offensive') offensive in most Middle Eastern countries. So we see that (Therefore,) no matter how much proficient one is in the foreign language, one can not escape making a small faux pas at best and grave social mistakes at worst, on a daily basis.
3rd Paragraph:
On the other hand, as far as the practical issues are concerned that one might face on a daily basis, due to modern technology aids, it is quite possible to an extent to mitigate or overcome those issues if one is resourceful. For example, most smartphones now have multiple apps which can translate between languages and thus make it easy to communicate simple requests to a native speaker. Google maps can be used to find directions in one's own language without the need to communicate with someone else. Restaurants reviews can be accessed on apps like Yelp, Foursquare etc. (The thing that will make your argument stronger here is if you give a personal example, i.e. something from your own life experience, like you could even make up a story that you visited a certain foreign country and how you used to an app or a gadget to communicate with others). Remember examiners don't care if it's true or not as long as it's logical and makes sense.
Conclusion:-
In conclusion, one can clearly see that although it can be overwhelming to live where the language spoken is alien to to a person, the use of latest language translation apps and devices can assist us to communicate with the locals and gain understanding.
Thank you for taking time out for review. How much would you give it out of 9? Also, I have another essay that I wrote for review, could you review that one ? https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-100#post-7695224
@artificial.nocturne @cansha @H0peAndFa1th
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Today as a school subject, both History and Science and Technology, have their fair share of followers, with some regarding the former as the most important subject while others deem the latter to be of much more importance. I am in the latter group and believe that Science and technology subjects are far more important than history.
Studying history is important because it helps us to avoid the mistakes we made in the past and helps us make much better decisions in the future. For example, a study of how India was colonized by the British in the form of East India Company eventually leading to large scale suppression of the Indian population for two hundred years helps us avoid making the same mistakes in the future. On the same note, a study of the Holocaust reminds us of atrocities humans are capable of which can be avoided to create a much better place for people to live in. A careful study of the past and learning from it is of utmost importance if we want to make progress in the future.
On the other hand, I feel true progress can only come with a careful and sustained focus on Science and Technology because those are the subjects that help in making true progress and making our lives much better every single day. For instance, vaccinations have brought down the infant mortality rate down from 50 percent to less than 10 percent and even zero in some developed countries. Along the same lines, breakthroughs in medical procedures have made fatal diseases manageable and treatable. Similarly, modern transport inventions like cars and airplanes have made travel across the world possible in a matter of hours instead of months and years it previously used to take. Mobiles phones nowadays have the computing power of full-fledged computers but fit into our palms.
In conclusion, I feel that though history should definitely be taught in schools and is irreplaceable, it is the Science and Technology subjects which bring much more to the table. It has made lives much more comfortable and aims to take it to a much better place in the future!
(363 words)
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Today as a school subject, both History and Science and Technology, have their fair share of followers, with some regarding the former as the most important subject while others deem the latter to be of much more importance. I am in the latter group and believe that Science and technology subjects are far more important than history.
Studying history is important because it helps us to avoid the mistakes we made in the past and helps us make much better decisions in the future. For example, a study of how India was colonized by the British in the form of East India Company eventually leading to large scale suppression of the Indian population for two hundred years helps us avoid making the same mistakes in the future. On the same note, a study of the Holocaust reminds us of atrocities humans are capable of which can be avoided to create a much better place for people to live in. A careful study of the past and learning from it is of utmost importance if we want to make progress in the future.
On the other hand, I feel true progress can only come with a careful and sustained focus on Science and Technology because those are the subjects that help in making true progress and making our lives much better every single day. For instance, vaccinations have brought down the infant mortality rate down from 50 percent to less than 10 percent and even zero in some developed countries. Along the same lines, breakthroughs in medical procedures have made fatal diseases manageable and treatable. Similarly, modern transport inventions like cars and airplanes have made travel across the world possible in a matter of hours instead of months and years it previously used to take. Mobiles phones nowadays have the computing power of full-fledged computers but fit into our palms.
In conclusion, I feel that though history should definitely be taught in schools and is irreplaceable, it is the Science and Technology subjects which bring much more to the table. It has made lives much more comfortable and aims to take it to a much better place in the future!
(363 words)