IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
Good into!
I like the idea and flow of the para. I don't really like the example. It is okay but not really inline with your previous argument. You may have given examples of some books / tv series for example which had reference to AI and now things have happened. Say star trek / wars etc. Because you are referring to progress in world.
I think this paragraph is weak compared to your previous paragraph. Seems like you were just trying to fill words.
Weak conclusion. Didn't recapture your main points. You handled a tough topic very well in previous essay. Compared to that essay this is weak.
But, don't take to heart. It happens. There is no need to overthink or over analyze. Focus on generating ideas and make sure you write conclusion with same zeal you write the intro. Your intros are rarely bad but conclusions don't have same consistency. So something to think about.
You need to take care of your paragraphing. You have supposedly three paragraphs where para 1 and para 3 are just one line. But para 2 is so big. Why not break paragraphs more logically. Read more and see how paragraphs need to be broken.
There are a lot of grammar issues also. And you could have written this a bit more concisely.
This is your first attempt and so you still have to get better. My suggestion is that please read more. I have not pointed out a lot of grammar errors etc. We will get to those later. Because they will change every time. But, first you need to learn about paragraphing and task response. That is more important. So read a bit and then attempt another letter and we will take it from there.
There are a bunch of good letters written by other members in previous pages. You can read those or just google and read from web. All the best!
Hi,
L, R was not difficult. W will depend on the examiner, though I wrote that topic in this forum few days back. About delayed parenthood.
Thanks. Yes I will take a break for few days. Then I will start preparing again for 27 October.. Cansha do we have to write a flawless essay to get to 7 or couple of spelling mistakes can cost one band 7
It doesn't need to be perfect. A perfect essay will be a 9. Only thing that matters is your task response has to be unambiguous. If you do task response well, your chances of 7+ score increase.
Why are you taking another one on 27th?
You are right... Just tell me if am getting 7 ?
Yes, I am making lots of spelling and capital letter mistakes, dont know how to control them. Its not I am deliberately, but they are happening unconsciously . Can u suggest any way out ?
Hi everyone,
Cant tell you how happy I am to find this forum. I am currently preparing for my test next month and I am working on my writing skills as they're kinda rusty. Please find my answers below. A detailed feedback would be greatly appreciated.
I am aware of the length where the word count is over the limit but i find it very hard to decide what to take out and what to leave. I could use some help in this part as well
Thank you in advance
TASK 1
You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
Dear Mike,
As you know, one of my professional goals is be a certified financial analyst. I have applied to the CFA institute in order to be able to complete the training course and therefore take the test to gain the accreditation. My application was approved and I am writing this letter to request some time off work so I can prepare for it.
This qualification is a high level certificate that provides the financial analyst with the skills and tools needed in order to achieve more accurate analysis and forecast on businesses. If my request is approved I will delegate my current tasks to my colleague Nora, she has offered to help. I will also inform our clients about these changes and will assure them that their portfolios will be taking care of during my leave. It is worth mentioning that this certification will help me build more diversified plans, supporting our clients in their financial objectives, gain more insights about new tools and approaches in the market which would increase our clients trust knowing that our pitch and ideas are coming from a well specialized knowledge and not a general one.
That being said, I would really appreciate your approval to this request
Looking forward to hearing from you
Thanks And Regards,
TASK 2
In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
As a result of advanced technology, social media and free accessible WI-FI people of the young generation have lost interest in following up with the global and local events. This essay will outline the reasons and provide suggested solutions for the issue.
First of all, if we track down the development of technology specially with communication and how it changed the world since the internet discovery followed by more advanced methods to reach, send and receive information. This massive revolution was a game changer for everyone. As the years go by people started relying on the web to make themselves informed, learn and interact. While older generations still do not feel comfortable enough to switch to new sources of information entirely, younger people are more curious, excited to move forward and try something new. Furthermore, information accessibility has never been easier. Social media applications which were a result of the inventions of smartphones contributed to this detachment. Why would someone pay for a piece of information if they can get it for a lot less and it’s one click away.
That being said, recommending our youth to go back in time might not be the right way to resolve the issue but certainly linking the idea to a reward may help to encourage them to learn how to use these traditional sources of information. For instance schools can design more assignments or projects where answers can be only available on newspaper or TV programs, more of these tasks will expose them to different types of news and allow them to learn how to react to these information and how to develop their point of views based on available data.
In summary, even though revolutionized technology forced the world including young people to be completely dependent on it in all aspect of their lives, the surrounding environment can offer a room for improvement where those young people can still be offered the chance to learn doing things the in the old fashioned way.
Cant tell you how happy I am to find this forum. I am currently preparing for my test next month and I am working on my writing skills as they're kinda rusty. Please find my answers below. A detailed feedback would be greatly appreciated.
I am aware of the length where the word count is over the limit but i find it very hard to decide what to take out and what to leave. I could use some help in this part as well
Thank you in advance
TASK 1
You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- Ask for some time off to complete a qualification.
- Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
- Say how the qualification helps your job or company.
Dear Mike,
As you know, one of my professional goals is be a certified financial analyst. I have applied to the CFA institute in order to be able to complete the training course and therefore take the test to gain the accreditation. My application was approved and I am writing this letter to request some time off work so I can prepare for it.
This qualification is a high level certificate that provides the financial analyst with the skills and tools needed in order to achieve more accurate analysis and forecast on businesses. If my request is approved I will delegate my current tasks to my colleague Nora, she has offered to help. I will also inform our clients about these changes and will assure them that their portfolios will be taking care of during my leave. It is worth mentioning that this certification will help me build more diversified plans, supporting our clients in their financial objectives, gain more insights about new tools and approaches in the market which would increase our clients trust knowing that our pitch and ideas are coming from a well specialized knowledge and not a general one.
That being said, I would really appreciate your approval to this request
Looking forward to hearing from you
Thanks And Regards,
TASK 2
In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
As a result of advanced technology, social media and free accessible WI-FI people of the young generation have lost interest in following up with the global and local events. This essay will outline the reasons and provide suggested solutions for the issue.
First of all, if we track down the development of technology specially with communication and how it changed the world since the internet discovery followed by more advanced methods to reach, send and receive information. This massive revolution was a game changer for everyone. As the years go by people started relying on the web to make themselves informed, learn and interact. While older generations still do not feel comfortable enough to switch to new sources of information entirely, younger people are more curious, excited to move forward and try something new. Furthermore, information accessibility has never been easier. Social media applications which were a result of the inventions of smartphones contributed to this detachment. Why would someone pay for a piece of information if they can get it for a lot less and it’s one click away.
That being said, recommending our youth to go back in time might not be the right way to resolve the issue but certainly linking the idea to a reward may help to encourage them to learn how to use these traditional sources of information. For instance schools can design more assignments or projects where answers can be only available on newspaper or TV programs, more of these tasks will expose them to different types of news and allow them to learn how to react to these information and how to develop their point of views based on available data.
In summary, even though revolutionized technology forced the world including young people to be completely dependent on it in all aspect of their lives, the surrounding environment can offer a room for improvement where those young people can still be offered the chance to learn doing things the in the old fashioned way.
oh you did ! thats great ! my writing didnt go well.. since i think i didnt give nice evidences... though language i used was fine.
Ill book another one since I have to get CLB 10 .. dont have a choice...