Hello! I am a 22-year-old American (but I see many on this forum have experience in this area), and I would appreciate any advice/perspectives on this quasi-romantic relationship and friendship I have with a 24-year-old Moroccan man.
I’ve known him for six months, meeting him in Morocco where we lived right by each other for a month and a half and became friends. He was very kind and respectful to me and everyone else around us. I found him to be very trustworthy as well, and he often took care of me when I needed help without expecting anything in return. We communicated in French (neither of us are fluent, so there is still a language barrier). He was dating someone else at the time. He mentioned he wanted to get married in the near future, but seemed unsure about her as his future wife.
We kept in casual touch since I returned to the States, but then he suddenly told me he loved me and asked me to be his lover (his former gf married someone else). I agreed, since he seems like a good person (not to mention he’s quite handsome
). But then our “relationship” was just sending a few text messages each day. This, coupled with the fact that I know I am not particularly attractive (I get probably a little less sexual/romantic attention than the average girl my age), made me paranoid, wondering if he just planned on marrying me for my green card (he hadn't discussed marriage yet, though). When I asked him about the lack of communication, he said he was not experienced with sending love messages and then said he would die for me (?!!!).
I told him I couldn’t be with him romantically anymore because we are too far apart, and that I still wanted to be friends. To see if he just wanted me for a green card, I added that I couldn’t realistically move to Morocco for another two years (to see if he would insist on his moving to the US). He replied, “As you wish, but I love you from the bottom of my heart.” I said I was sorry, again emphasizing the distance to see how he would respond, and he just said there was no need to apologize.
Do you think I am right to be suspicious, or am I letting prejudice/bigotry get in the way of a friendship with a lovely person who had genuine feelings for me? I know we cannot be together romantically, but do you think I can still trust him as a friend, or was he trying to use me?
Thank you so much!
I’ve known him for six months, meeting him in Morocco where we lived right by each other for a month and a half and became friends. He was very kind and respectful to me and everyone else around us. I found him to be very trustworthy as well, and he often took care of me when I needed help without expecting anything in return. We communicated in French (neither of us are fluent, so there is still a language barrier). He was dating someone else at the time. He mentioned he wanted to get married in the near future, but seemed unsure about her as his future wife.
We kept in casual touch since I returned to the States, but then he suddenly told me he loved me and asked me to be his lover (his former gf married someone else). I agreed, since he seems like a good person (not to mention he’s quite handsome
I told him I couldn’t be with him romantically anymore because we are too far apart, and that I still wanted to be friends. To see if he just wanted me for a green card, I added that I couldn’t realistically move to Morocco for another two years (to see if he would insist on his moving to the US). He replied, “As you wish, but I love you from the bottom of my heart.” I said I was sorry, again emphasizing the distance to see how he would respond, and he just said there was no need to apologize.
Do you think I am right to be suspicious, or am I letting prejudice/bigotry get in the way of a friendship with a lovely person who had genuine feelings for me? I know we cannot be together romantically, but do you think I can still trust him as a friend, or was he trying to use me?
Thank you so much!
