Stressed over trying to sponsor my wife

[scylla]

I am not trying to give you a hard time here, but it strikes me that Lebanon being in economic crisis and the passing of your grandmother do not really come across as cogent and compelling reasons for not going there to spend time with your wife.

As for Covid "running rampant", I suppose that still applies today. I know of a few people here in my province of BC to get the virus in this past month. Was Lebanon on a list of places to which the Canadian government has warned against travel until now?


You have not answered @scylla's direct question about how much time you have spent with your spouse, but the answer is found in another thread where you said you have made a single trip of 2 weeks' duration, during which you were married. That's it. I am sure scylla is right when she says that's a weak profile. She is not making this stuff up, but simply relating to you what her years of observing these things tells her. She is right too, that no MP is going to change the IRCC's view. If that could happen, the IRCC might just as well turn the final decision over to the MP.

Looking at our own case, my wife and I met in November 2019 and I spent a month with her in her country. We applied for a TRV in January 2020, just ahead of Covid, and were denied in February, just weeks before Covid became a global issue. Her country was locked down until February 2022. No foreign visitors allowed in. It re-opened on Feb. 10/22 and I arrived there on Feb. 18. I stayed for 2 months and we married in that time. We also applied again for a TRV while I was there. Denied again.

I went to see her again, in November 2022, and stayed for 4 months, during which time we submitted her PR application. We were unable to submit sooner due to waiting for PSA marriage certificate and making a trip to Dubai in November 2022 to procure a PCC, after trying since June to get it without having to go there. We applied for TRV yet again, just before I left, thinking our application was 4 months along and we had achieved SA, medical done, etc., so that would help. Still denied.

Why am I telling you this? Because we fully expect her PR application to be denied, although we think we should have a strong case. Just like you do. We have 2 strikes against us. First, we have 3 TRV denials. There's general agreement on this forum that 3+ denials substantially weakens a PR application. We have, in effect, been told 3 times that we are lying when we say she'll return to her country. We so are now viewed with great suspicion and she is perceived as "desperate" to come to Canada. Strike 2 is the fact that a am more than 20 years older. That makes VOs see red. Pisses 'em off. Seems immoral, improper, unseemly, etc. Can an MP change that view? I doubt it.

We will see my wife's application through to the end. We are unlikely to appeal a denial. Probably a waste of time. I'll move there. I lived there before and can do so again. It has many attractions. Let me ask: if your wife's application is denied, will you move to Lebanon? I kinda' see that as the acid test. If you can't or won't, then is it a real marriage? No one is guaranteed a PR visa to Canada. Who would say: You can be my wife, conditional upon you moving to Canada and, if you can't or won't, that's the end of the marriage?

Let's hope that's enough to get an approval. I've been watching your case. Good luck.

 

[comarxx]

Leaving Canada for a month is risky, especially if the applicant is the one leaving, UNLESS it is an Outland sponsorship application (which many submit while in Canada).

You do not need to inform IRCC, but if you have any issues with CBSA upon your return, it could be a problem for the application.

Sorry, im the sponsor. I am sponsoring my wife outland. Will visit my spouse in home country.

I don't think it's a reach at all. IMO it's quite obvious the spouse is outside of Canada and this is an outland application. OP said this: "will be away for exactly a month to be with my spouse".

Is it okay to inform IRCC of my travel plans? Just my thinking is that they can see, validated that I visited my spouse during this process of sponsorship.

 

[comarxx]

I am not trying to give you a hard time here, but it strikes me that Lebanon being in economic crisis and the passing of your grandmother do not really come across as cogent and compelling reasons for not going there to spend time with your wife.

As for Covid "running rampant", I suppose that still applies today. I know of a few people here in my province of BC to get the virus in this past month. Was Lebanon on a list of places to which the Canadian government has warned against travel until now?


You have not answered @scylla's direct question about how much time you have spent with your spouse, but the answer is found in another thread where you said you have made a single trip of 2 weeks' duration, during which you were married. That's it. I am sure scylla is right when she says that's a weak profile. She is not making this stuff up, but simply relating to you what her years of observing these things tells her. She is right too, that no MP is going to change the IRCC's view. If that could happen, the IRCC might just as well turn the final decision over to the MP.

Looking at our own case, my wife and I met in November 2019 and I spent a month with her in her country. We applied for a TRV in January 2020, just ahead of Covid, and were denied in February, just weeks before Covid became a global issue. Her country was locked down until February 2022. No foreign visitors allowed in. It re-opened on Feb. 10/22 and I arrived there on Feb. 18. I stayed for 2 months and we married in that time. We also applied again for a TRV while I was there. Denied again.

I went to see her again, in November 2022, and stayed for 4 months, during which time we submitted her PR application. We were unable to submit sooner due to waiting for PSA marriage certificate and making a trip to Dubai in November 2022 to procure a PCC, after trying since June to get it without having to go there. We applied for TRV yet again, just before I left, thinking our application was 4 months along and we had achieved SA, medical done, etc., so that would help. Still denied.

Why am I telling you this? Because we fully expect her PR application to be denied, although we think we should have a strong case. Just like you do. We have 2 strikes against us. First, we have 3 TRV denials. There's general agreement on this forum that 3+ denials substantially weakens a PR application. We have, in effect, been told 3 times that we are lying when we say she'll return to her country. We so are now viewed with great suspicion and she is perceived as "desperate" to come to Canada. Strike 2 is the fact that a am more than 20 years older. That makes VOs see red. Pisses 'em off. Seems immoral, improper, unseemly, etc. Can an MP change that view? I doubt it.

We will see my wife's application through to the end. We are unlikely to appeal a denial. Probably a waste of time. I'll move there. I lived there before and can do so again. It has many attractions. Let me ask: if your wife's application is denied, will you move to Lebanon? I kinda' see that as the acid test. If you can't or won't, then is it a real marriage? No one is guaranteed a PR visa to Canada. Who would say: You can be my wife, conditional upon you moving to Canada and, if you can't or won't, that's the end of the marriage?

Hey Kaibigan! How’s it going? Everything’s good?How is your file moving?

 

[Ponga]

Sorry, im the sponsor. I am sponsoring my wife outland. Will visit my spouse in home country.




Is it okay to inform IRCC of my travel plans? Just my thinking is that they can see, validated that I visited my spouse during this process of sponsorship.

So you were sponsored back in 2013 by your wife who you've since divorced and are now sponsoring your second wife? You are not [yet] a Canadian citizen, correct?

 

[armoured]

Sorry, im the sponsor. I am sponsoring my wife outland. Will visit my spouse in home country.




Is it okay to inform IRCC of my travel plans? Just my thinking is that they can see, validated that I visited my spouse during this process of sponsorship.

It will be fine, but do it after you return, not before. With eg photos. Yes, it will not hurt and possibly help show genuineness of relationship.

 

[armoured]

Based on previous posts, one of them became a PR back in 2013 ("application sent (by my wife) - october 2012 (forgot the exact date)", so unless the sponsor is now a Canadian citizen, is it not a requirement for the sponsor to remain in Canada during the sponsorship process?

Regardless, a month trip should be fine.

*EDIT*
The above was written by someone that's not feeling 100% today and is admittedly a bit `cranky'. Time for me to shut down the noise and get some rest. LOL!

No worries ))

 

[comarxx]

So you were sponsored back in 2013 by your wife who you've since divorced and are now sponsoring your second wife? You are not [yet] a Canadian citizen, correct?

Yes. That is exactly correct. Citizenship is in process though.

It will be fine, but do it after you return, not before. With eg photos. Yes, it will not hurt and possibly help show genuineness of relationship.

Oh, okay. No worries man. I thought you were joking when you replied earlier. Yes, this is exactly my point in informing IRCC about my travel. But the real reason is of course I miss my wife. It’s already almost 10 months into this process. No messages and video calls every single day to replace being together.

 

[Kaibigan]

Hey Kaibigan! How’s it going? Everything’s good?How is your file moving?

Thanks for your interest comarxx. What's set out in my timeline pretty much says it all. We are now into the long period after all has been submitted, SA, medical exam, etc., all done, and we now expect months of stoney silence. I really have to be here in BC over summer. Apart from a condo in Victoria, home is a fairly substantial place, with dock and outbuildings, an orchard, etc., etc. on a large oceanfront acreage. It's why we have tried for TRVs for my wife in summer. I kinda' have to be around in summer to attend to maintenance of the lands and buildings. It's enough to leave it in winter to go to the Philippines, with someone caretaking, but I can't stay away all year.

So, now the plan is to return to the Phils at the end of September/early October. With the IRCC's posted 16-month processing time, we should have a decision from IRCC along about April/24. When I get to the Phils in September/early October, I'll stay there with my wife until the decision is made. If denied, I'll come back alone and sell out. For what I'll be offering, starting in April is prime time to sell. The Victoria condo my son, a UVic student starting in Sept., can have. I don't have to look to sell it.

I hear ya' on the daily video calls. Good that now such calls are so readily available, but a poor substitute for being together.

 

[comarxx]

Thanks for your interest comarxx. What's set out in my timeline pretty much says it all. We are now into the long period after all has been submitted, SA, medical exam, etc., all done, and we now expect months of stoney silence. I really have to be here in BC over summer. Apart from a condo in Victoria, home is a fairly substantial place, with dock and outbuildings, an orchard, etc., etc. on a large oceanfront acreage. It's why we have tried for TRVs for my wife in summer. I kinda' have to be around in summer to attend to maintenance of the lands and buildings. It's enough to leave it in winter to go to the Philippines, with someone caretaking, but I can't stay away all year.

So, now the plan is to return to the Phils at the end of September/early October. With the IRCC's posted 16-month processing time, we should have a decision from IRCC along about April/24. When I get to the Phils in September/early October, I'll stay there with my wife until the decision is made. If denied, I'll come back alone and sell out. For what I'll be offering, starting in April is prime time to sell. The Victoria condo my son, a UVic student starting in Sept., can have. I don't have to look to sell it.

I hear ya' on the daily video calls. Good that now such calls are so readily available, but a poor substitute for being together.

That is a big decision man. But its also nice to live in the Phils. There is no winter for one. And there’s no problem if you have big savings or aboutvto retire. But for sure you’re application is not going to be denied.

 

[canuck78]

Yes. That is exactly correct. Citizenship is in process though.



Oh, okay. No worries man. I thought you were joking when you replied earlier. Yes, this is exactly my point in informing IRCC about my travel. But the real reason is of course I miss my wife. It’s already almost 10 months into this process. No messages and video calls every single day to replace being together.

How long are you going for?

 

[canuck78]

I am not trying to give you a hard time here, but it strikes me that Lebanon being in economic crisis and the passing of your grandmother do not really come across as cogent and compelling reasons for not going there to spend time with your wife.

As for Covid "running rampant", I suppose that still applies today. I know of a few people here in my province of BC to get the virus in this past month. Was Lebanon on a list of places to which the Canadian government has warned against travel until now?


You have not answered @scylla's direct question about how much time you have spent with your spouse, but the answer is found in another thread where you said you have made a single trip of 2 weeks' duration, during which you were married. That's it. I am sure scylla is right when she says that's a weak profile. She is not making this stuff up, but simply relating to you what her years of observing these things tells her. She is right too, that no MP is going to change the IRCC's view. If that could happen, the IRCC might just as well turn the final decision over to the MP.

Looking at our own case, my wife and I met in November 2019 and I spent a month with her in her country. We applied for a TRV in January 2020, just ahead of Covid, and were denied in February, just weeks before Covid became a global issue. Her country was locked down until February 2022. No foreign visitors allowed in. It re-opened on Feb. 10/22 and I arrived there on Feb. 18. I stayed for 2 months and we married in that time. We also applied again for a TRV while I was there. Denied again.

I went to see her again, in November 2022, and stayed for 4 months, during which time we submitted her PR application. We were unable to submit sooner due to waiting for PSA marriage certificate and making a trip to Dubai in November 2022 to procure a PCC, after trying since June to get it without having to go there. We applied for TRV yet again, just before I left, thinking our application was 4 months along and we had achieved SA, medical done, etc., so that would help. Still denied.

Why am I telling you this? Because we fully expect her PR application to be denied, although we think we should have a strong case. Just like you do. We have 2 strikes against us. First, we have 3 TRV denials. There's general agreement on this forum that 3+ denials substantially weakens a PR application. We have, in effect, been told 3 times that we are lying when we say she'll return to her country. We so are now viewed with great suspicion and she is perceived as "desperate" to come to Canada. Strike 2 is the fact that a am more than 20 years older. That makes VOs see red. Pisses 'em off. Seems immoral, improper, unseemly, etc. Can an MP change that view? I doubt it.

We will see my wife's application through to the end. We are unlikely to appeal a denial. Probably a waste of time. I'll move there. I lived there before and can do so again. It has many attractions. Let me ask: if your wife's application is denied, will you move to Lebanon? I kinda' see that as the acid test. If you can't or won't, then is it a real marriage? No one is guaranteed a PR visa to Canada. Who would say: You can be my wife, conditional upon you moving to Canada and, if you can't or won't, that's the end of the marriage?

Being denied TRVs, especially during the relationship period, shouldn’t weaken your spousal sponsorship application. The fact that there is a 20 year age difference isn’t seen as immoral it is just a red flag because there is a higher chance that there is marriage of convenience, forced marriage, etc. if there is a significant age difference. You actually have a pretty strong application as long as there are no other red flags given the multiple visits and travel together. Your wife may need an interview but otherwise you seem to be anticipating any IRCC concerns.

 

[armoured]

...but otherwise you seem to be anticipating any IRCC concerns.

I would call this 'catastrophizing' - spending too much time and effort thinking about the worst possible rather than evaluating the likelihood.

The likelihood - I agree with you - of issues for kaibigan is low. I repeat the offer I made (I think? not certain) of a friendly bet with kaibigan, his spouse's case will be approved.

 

[scylla]

I would call this 'catastrophizing' - spending too much time and effort thinking about the worst possible rather than evaluating the likelihood.

This is literally what I did when my husband couldn't obtain one of his PCCs. Kept thinking that this was going to guarantee refusal and they wouldn't consider our explanation and all of the supporting evidence. Kept picturing an IRCC officer going through a checklist while reviewing our application, going "nope" for a complete set of PCCs, and then refusing our application.

 

[Kaibigan]

I would call this 'catastrophizing' - spending too much time and effort thinking about the worst possible rather than evaluating the likelihood.

The likelihood - I agree with you - of issues for kaibigan is low. I repeat the offer I made (I think? not certain) of a friendly bet with kaibigan, his spouse's case will be approved.

Maybe it's senility setting in, but I cannot recall the bet, armoured. Can you pull up a post as an aide memoire? However, it is unlikely that I would have accepted. I am not a betting man. I do believe in "luck" and that some are lucky and some not. I fall into the latter camp. I could buy $1 million worth of lottery tickets and not win a dime. I hear of some who win lotteries multiple times. I worked for 4 years in an office in Vancouver, where there were 16 of us. We had an office lottery pool. Each of us contributed $2/week, so that for each person, we purchased one 649 ticket (then $1 each) for each of the 2 weekly draws. So we had 32 tickets in the pool every week. In the 4 years I was there, we won $10 maybe 10 times. We won in the range of $90 a few times. In that time, the total paid for tickets was about $6,500. Not a great investment. I only participated due, maybe, to 'catastrophizing'. I feared that, if I did not join in, the remaining employees would win millions and I would not share. They would all retire, leaving me on my own. So, I jumped on board.

As for the suggestion that I am indulging in 'catastrophizing', I won't agree. A dose of pessimism perhaps? Being realistic, perhaps? Expecting the worst and hoping for the best, maybe?

Before I became a lawyer, I worked in Toronto as an accountant/auditor for a large national firm of Chartered Accountants. Something all accountants learn, particularly those intending to work as corporate comptrollers and such, is the maxim: "Anticipate all losses; expect no gains." Maybe I am invoking that principle.

The part that is missing in the 'catastrophizing' analysis is the view that what is coming will be a catastrophe. I don't really see it as such. I am quite prepared to live with rejection and to quietly move to the Philippines. I won't be wailing and complaining and pulling out all stops to have the decision reversed. Yes, I'll be disappointed that my wife will never experience my island home. A place I have long regarded as a privilege to be able to own and to call home. For her to have one summer there would be nice. I have doubts whether she would ever want a winter there. But, she has never been to Canada. Should she come, and I take her to my island home, she might want to get the hell out of there tout de suite. We have cougars and wolves living there undisturbed; killer whales (orcas) and humpback whales are in front of the house daily in summer (the orcas are there all year), and she might see it as a wild and dangerous place. I am prepared for that outcome too. Not everyone's cup of tea so to speak. I'll accept that. It can be replaced with a nice place on the beach in her country. Not a catastrophic outcome.

In fact, the idea to which i have alluded is, for me, been one of life's good lessons. As my daddy used to say, "If one door closes, another one opens". Those words ring as true now as when he spoke them to me as a child. Time has served only to enhance their meaning. In my youth, I did not see that he was right. I felt bitter disappointment at a door being closed in my face. Now, in retrospect, I see how very well things turned out by walking through the other door that always opened. Maybe like the Garth Brooks' song "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers".

And now that I have completely disrupted the decorum of this thread, with apologies to the OP, time to get in my boat and go to town (or a couple of towns). A Costco trip today!

 

[armoured]

Maybe it's senility setting in, but I cannot recall the bet, armoured. Can you pull up a post as an aide memoire?

Probably I meant to make that bet offer earlier and forgot.

However, it is unlikely that I would have accepted. I am not a betting man. I do believe in "luck" and that some are lucky and some not. I fall into the latter camp.

This is exactly why you should bet with me, 'against' yourself - because you will lose your bet, your wife will get her PR, and I get a beer.

If you truly believe you are unlucky, you should use that power - I mean, mostly to benefit me, but it's okay if your spouse gets something out of it too.