Study plan review please, any comments welcomed

[Jamie87]

Good day, I'm preparing for my second submission, as I got refused in May.

The reason given in the refusal letter says,

not satisfied that you will leave Canada at the end of your stay, as stipulated in subsection 216(1) of the IRPR, based on the purpose of your visit.

Then I rewrote an LOE (SP) to be more accurate and with less wording.

Sorry for posting the whole SP, knowing it's a pretty long SP, but I just want to give you a full picture.

Some basic information about me:

• 34yo
• Married, with a 5yo son
• No dependant along with my study
• With ILAC University Pathway, no IELTS

Now the SP, please kindly offer me your advice, any comments would be appreciated.

-----------------------------------------​

I hope this letter finds you well. I graduated from Jiujiang University in 2009 with a college diploma in Marketing and Planning. Out of strong interest, I have been rooted in the marketing industry since 2010, and now I am a Senior Account Executive and Senior Media Executive for a digital marketing company. After 12 years of not seeing big promotions, I endeavor to further upgrade my education and professionalism to get a broader employment opportunity and embark on the ship of a rapidly taking-off industry.

• Why do I want to upgrade my education?

Worked for industry giant Accenture for the past three years, I have been immersed in the international, diverse, and fresh digital marketing landscape. It was a challenging environment, as I have enormous opportunities to face top clients, join professional crew teams. Throughout the period, however, I worked hard, accomplished enormous tasks, and never failed my clients through my expertise, as I always do. (Find the attached reference letter from HR) But recently, Accenture Interactive's business changed, and a lot of layoffs took place. Therefore, I was unfortunately laid off in May (see attachment for exit letter). After the layoff, I found a new job in the same month, it was no difficulty for me (See attachment for proof of employment). Thence, I encountered various new digital marketing projects, including complex Customer Relationship Management (CRM) projects, short-form video marketing, and creative content marketing, all of which I had not learned in college and had little exposure to in my past work. After experiencing the blow of being laid off plus having out-of-date knowledge, I felt the urgent need to continue learning and updating my knowledge and skills.

And it is worth mentioning that it is our national policy to vigorously develop the digital economy, and the State Council released a new round of digital economy development plans just at the end of 2021, which will bring more demand for digital marketing and hence even more huge opportunities for me and my family's future. At the same time, however, in Chengdu, my hometown, they also vigorously carry out the introduction of talent, attracting a huge amount of highly educated people, which makes it much more difficult to compete in the market for me only with a college diploma degree. So, to achieve my goal, I plan to go abroad to further my studies, learn more cutting-edge professional knowledge and obtain a higher degree.

• Why did I choose to study in Canada?

In China, adults who want to further their education can choose to pursue continuing education or study abroad. However, the level of continuing education is backward here; not only that, but there is also a lack of quality resources; and most importantly, the workplace does not even recognize continuing education degrees, so it is not a good choice at all. After careful consideration, seeking a higher degree from a developed country will be the wiser option for me to stand out in the market.

Undeniably, North America is the global center of business and has the best education in the world, so studying marketing there was a natural choice for me. After deciding on North America, I compared Canada with the U.S. I realized that Canada, without any educational shortage, could be a much less expensive place to further my education, so I decided to go to Canada.

• Why did I choose Marketing Management program at the Fanshawe College?

When searching for the right school to effectively extend my previous study and work experience, I found Fanshawe College in London, Ontario. It offers a unique Marketing Management graduate certificate program that is one year long and has very reasonable fees. Not only that, but it also has an excellent international reputation, a good example is that a student group from the program winning an international award in 2020, which is something that cannot be found in my home country.

In addition, unlike higher education in China, which tends to focus more on theoretical teaching and exam results, this program places more emphasis on the application of knowledge, and the faculty members always have real business marketing hands-on experiences, such as program coordinator Simone Moreau-Rodgers who has turned around several under-performing SaaS brands and marketing teams, including Media Sonar Technologies, Sagecomm, etc. They will impart numerous case studies and real-world practices that will benefit me more in my future work scenarios in China.

To meet a high requirement in English for college studying, I attended the International Language Academy of Canada (ILAC). By achieving the highest level of the University Pathway Program, PW III 3.4 (see the attached certificate), which is sufficient for my program, the college offered me the unconditional acceptance letter.

• My overall learning plans

This program will start on May 1, 2023, and end on December 31, 2023. It provides several practical and advanced theoretical courses, including Marketing Management, CRM A Management Approach, New Media Marketing, Primary Marketing Research, and Innovation Applications, that I especially eager to study in-depth with the school's industry experts to make up for my insufficiency immediately. At the same time, I want to take as many courses as possible, such as Advanced Professional Communication, Customer Behaviour, Global Market Strategy, etc., so I can prepare for future changes in the industry.

• How will I support my study abroad?

I prepared more than $50,000 CAD for my study, including $10,000 CAD GIC, $16,454.48 CAD paid in advance for one year of tuition; plenty of deposits, and redeemable financial products in my bank account, which is valued at more than $24,000 CAD. Although the tuition was renewed to $17,566.67 CAD after I postponed my intake due to the denial of my first attempt at the study permit application, all I have in my and my wife’s bank accounts are sufficient to cover it and are sufficient for my stay in Canada for one year as well, allowing me to focus entirely on my studies.

For more about my source of funding, please see financial support.

• My home country connection

My wife is a manager at Accenture with a high income (see attached for proof of employment and marriage certificate). She is too busy to take time off, so she will stay to continue working and wait for me to come home. Our son, almost six and currently in school (see attached for proof of enrollment), will stay with my wife and wait for me to return home as well. They are the most important people in my life, and during my study, their harmonious life back in China also allows me to focus on my course without distractions.
Furthermore, since my parents and mother-in-law are getting old and require our day-to-day support, I must return to ensure my duty to keep going.
With all these family responsibilities, career prospects, and love of everything in China, there is no reason why I should not return to China after graduation.

• Personal Statement

I am a law-abiding Chinese citizen who has traveled abroad many times, including to Japan, Thailand, and Indonesia, and has never broken any local laws or regulations or stayed illegally. I hereby promise to do the same as I always do and show my highest respect for Canadian laws.

Finally, thank you for taking the time to review my application. I would appreciate it if I could obtain your approval! If there is anything unclear, please feel free to contact me. I will assist in resolving it for you.

--------------------------------------------------
​

Sorry for the long SP again. Thank you for your time, really appreciate it!

 

[Jjjjkjjj]

Good day, I'm preparing for my second submission, as I got refused in May.

The reason given in the refusal letter says,


Then I rewrote an LOE (SP) to be more accurate and with less wording.

Sorry for posting the whole SP, knowing it's a pretty long SP, but I just want to give you a full picture.

Some basic information about me:

• 34yo
• Married, with a 5yo son
• No dependant along with my study
• With ILAC University Pathway, no IELTS

Now the SP, please kindly offer me your advice, any comments would be appreciated.

-----------------------------------------​

I hope this letter finds you well. I graduated from Jiujiang University in 2009 with a college diploma in Marketing and Planning. Out of strong interest, I have been rooted in the marketing industry since 2010, and now I am a Senior Account Executive and Senior Media Executive for a digital marketing company. After 12 years of not seeing big promotions, I endeavor to further upgrade my education and professionalism to get a broader employment opportunity and embark on the ship of a rapidly taking-off industry.

• Why do I want to upgrade my education?

Worked for industry giant Accenture for the past three years, I have been immersed in the international, diverse, and fresh digital marketing landscape. It was a challenging environment, as I have enormous opportunities to face top clients, join professional crew teams. Throughout the period, however, I worked hard, accomplished enormous tasks, and never failed my clients through my expertise, as I always do. (Find the attached reference letter from HR) But recently, Accenture Interactive's business changed, and a lot of layoffs took place. Therefore, I was unfortunately laid off in May (see attachment for exit letter). After the layoff, I found a new job in the same month, it was no difficulty for me (See attachment for proof of employment). Thence, I encountered various new digital marketing projects, including complex Customer Relationship Management (CRM) projects, short-form video marketing, and creative content marketing, all of which I had not learned in college and had little exposure to in my past work. After experiencing the blow of being laid off plus having out-of-date knowledge, I felt the urgent need to continue learning and updating my knowledge and skills.

And it is worth mentioning that it is our national policy to vigorously develop the digital economy, and the State Council released a new round of digital economy development plans just at the end of 2021, which will bring more demand for digital marketing and hence even more huge opportunities for me and my family's future. At the same time, however, in Chengdu, my hometown, they also vigorously carry out the introduction of talent, attracting a huge amount of highly educated people, which makes it much more difficult to compete in the market for me only with a college diploma degree. So, to achieve my goal, I plan to go abroad to further my studies, learn more cutting-edge professional knowledge and obtain a higher degree.

• Why did I choose to study in Canada?

In China, adults who want to further their education can choose to pursue continuing education or study abroad. However, the level of continuing education is backward here; not only that, but there is also a lack of quality resources; and most importantly, the workplace does not even recognize continuing education degrees, so it is not a good choice at all. After careful consideration, seeking a higher degree from a developed country will be the wiser option for me to stand out in the market.

Undeniably, North America is the global center of business and has the best education in the world, so studying marketing there was a natural choice for me. After deciding on North America, I compared Canada with the U.S. I realized that Canada, without any educational shortage, could be a much less expensive place to further my education, so I decided to go to Canada.

• Why did I choose Marketing Management program at the Fanshawe College?

When searching for the right school to effectively extend my previous study and work experience, I found Fanshawe College in London, Ontario. It offers a unique Marketing Management graduate certificate program that is one year long and has very reasonable fees. Not only that, but it also has an excellent international reputation, a good example is that a student group from the program winning an international award in 2020, which is something that cannot be found in my home country.

In addition, unlike higher education in China, which tends to focus more on theoretical teaching and exam results, this program places more emphasis on the application of knowledge, and the faculty members always have real business marketing hands-on experiences, such as program coordinator Simone Moreau-Rodgers who has turned around several under-performing SaaS brands and marketing teams, including Media Sonar Technologies, Sagecomm, etc. They will impart numerous case studies and real-world practices that will benefit me more in my future work scenarios in China.

To meet a high requirement in English for college studying, I attended the International Language Academy of Canada (ILAC). By achieving the highest level of the University Pathway Program, PW III 3.4 (see the attached certificate), which is sufficient for my program, the college offered me the unconditional acceptance letter.

• My overall learning plans

This program will start on May 1, 2023, and end on December 31, 2023. It provides several practical and advanced theoretical courses, including Marketing Management, CRM A Management Approach, New Media Marketing, Primary Marketing Research, and Innovation Applications, that I especially eager to study in-depth with the school's industry experts to make up for my insufficiency immediately. At the same time, I want to take as many courses as possible, such as Advanced Professional Communication, Customer Behaviour, Global Market Strategy, etc., so I can prepare for future changes in the industry.

• How will I support my study abroad?

I prepared more than $50,000 CAD for my study, including $10,000 CAD GIC, $16,454.48 CAD paid in advance for one year of tuition; plenty of deposits, and redeemable financial products in my bank account, which is valued at more than $24,000 CAD. Although the tuition was renewed to $17,566.67 CAD after I postponed my intake due to the denial of my first attempt at the study permit application, all I have in my and my wife’s bank accounts are sufficient to cover it and are sufficient for my stay in Canada for one year as well, allowing me to focus entirely on my studies.

For more about my source of funding, please see financial support.

• My home country connection

My wife is a manager at Accenture with a high income (see attached for proof of employment and marriage certificate). She is too busy to take time off, so she will stay to continue working and wait for me to come home. Our son, almost six and currently in school (see attached for proof of enrollment), will stay with my wife and wait for me to return home as well. They are the most important people in my life, and during my study, their harmonious life back in China also allows me to focus on my course without distractions.
Furthermore, since my parents and mother-in-law are getting old and require our day-to-day support, I must return to ensure my duty to keep going.
With all these family responsibilities, career prospects, and love of everything in China, there is no reason why I should not return to China after graduation.

• Personal Statement

I am a law-abiding Chinese citizen who has traveled abroad many times, including to Japan, Thailand, and Indonesia, and has never broken any local laws or regulations or stayed illegally. I hereby promise to do the same as I always do and show my highest respect for Canadian laws.

Finally, thank you for taking the time to review my application. I would appreciate it if I could obtain your approval! If there is anything unclear, please feel free to contact me. I will assist in resolving it for you.

--------------------------------------------------
​

Sorry for the long SP again. Thank you for your time, really appreciate it!

What did your gcms notes say?

 

[Jamie87]

What did your gcms notes say?

Thank you for the reply. I'm waiting for the note, actually being waiting for over 1 month now.

 

[soheilhs]

It is a well-written study plan @Jamie87 . I can't think of a better improvement. I'm sorry that your SP refused on the first try.

Not sure how did you prepare and submit your first application, but I wish you could have this on the first shot. not sure any circumstances changed from then to now (i.e. maybe your family want to stay now? and on the first app, they were accompanying you?)

I wonder if you get your ImmiReport before you submitted your first application? If so, what was your chance of approval? Couldn't you make any changes to the learning institutions, study level etc., to get better odds?

 

[Jamie87]

It is a well-written study plan @Jamie87 . I can't think of a better improvement. I'm sorry that your SP refused on the first try.

Not sure how did you prepare and submit your first application, but I wish you could have this on the first shot. not sure any circumstances changed from then to now (i.e. maybe your family want to stay now? and on the first app, they were accompanying you?)

I wonder if you get your ImmiReport before you submitted your first application? If so, what was your chance of approval? Couldn't you make any changes to the learning institutions, study level etc., to get better odds?

It's so nice of you to say that, really gives me confidence, thanks!

Speaking of changes, I suppose this time, I got a reference letter from ex-employer's HR, and I'll show more funds that are available to me, I'll also provide a studying certificate of my son, and my son's medical certificate of birth too, does these can make any difference? then, maybe a more purified and shortened study plan and explanation letter of funds, you know, last time my SP was 5 pages, and letter of funds was 5p too. XD

Thank you again, your comments mean a lot to me for sure!

 

[canuck78]

It's so nice of you to say that, really gives me confidence, thanks!

Speaking of changes, I suppose this time, I got a reference letter from ex-employer's HR, and I'll show more funds that are available to me, I'll also provide a studying certificate of my son, and my son's medical certificate of birth too, does these can make any difference? then, maybe a more purified and shortened study plan and explanation letter of funds, you know, last time my SP was 5 pages, and letter of funds was 5p too. XD

Thank you again, your comments mean a lot to me for sure!

Given your work experience a college degree won’t lead to big promotion a masters is really what you need. Given that you have a family moving to 9ntario to study at a college makes minimal sense. If you were attending a top university if would be more understandable and if you were especially attending a university in BC that would all you to return home to visit much easier than would make much more sense. There are also well known good programs in Asia that would also lead to the same opportunities than a college degree would. Given that your child is just entering school I have some strong suspicions that you do want your family to join you in Canada. If you want to move to Canada why doesn’t your wife try to get an intracompany transfer with Accenture.

 

[Jamie87]

a masters is really what you need

I just got a college diploma from my previou study, so i'm assuming a masters doesn't fit me, and a degree is too time-consuming and costly, dosen't fit either, right?

Given that you have a family moving to 9ntario to study at a college makes minimal sense.

Assuming a one-year study could be fast, is it that important to choose a nearer location?

There are also well known good programs in Asia that would also lead to the same opportunities than a college degree would.

Don't you think its more sensible and recognizable with regard to that it‘s better to learn bussiness marketing in a developed English speaking country? Additionally, English is the only language I can use except my mother tongue.

Given that your child is just entering school I have some strong suspicions that you do want your family to join you in Canada.

Sorry mate, I don't get this. Could you please explain more into it?

If you want to move to Canada why doesn’t your wife try to get an intracompany transfer with Accenture.

Acctually I've thought about this, but she don't like it, maybe cuz of her insufficient language ability.

Thank you so much for your inspirational and informative comments, it really dose help!

 

[canuck78]

I just got a college diploma from my previou study, so i'm assuming a masters doesn't fit me, and a degree is too time-consuming and costly, dosen't fit either, right?


Assuming a one-year study could be fast, is it that important to choose a nearer location?


Don't you think its more sensible and recognizable with regard to that it‘s better to learn bussiness marketing in a developed English speaking country? Additionally, English is the only language I can use except my mother tongue.


Sorry mate, I don't get this. Could you please explain more into it?


Acctually I've thought about this, but she don't like it, maybe cuz of her insufficient language ability.

Thank you so much for your inspirational and informative comments, it really dose help!

Is your goal to immigrate? Lots of English programs available in Asia.

 

[Jamie87]

Is your goal to immigrate? Lots of English programs available in Asia.

Yah, frankly, it is. It's my primary goal, so I chose Canada. You know, I got your point here, but how can I state it logically and reasonablly? Would you mind advise me that a little bit? Really appreciate it.

 

[canuck78]

Yah, frankly, it is. It's my primary goal, so I chose Canada. You know, I got your point here, but how can I state it logically and reasonablly? Would you mind advise me that a little bit? Really appreciate it.

A postgrad college degree from a college in Ontario is not recognized like a university degree by larger employers. There are a lot of English based schooling in Asia that you could attend for a fraction of the price. Given that your wife has a very good job at Accenture it is hard to justify spending a large amount of money to attend a college degree in Canada and separate your family for 2 years. Instead of appearing as a genuine student it screams immigration. I would wait and see what GCMS notes say so you can address the specific concerns about your application,

 

[llucklinn]

It makes sense that it became so popular in this sense since it means that international students from all over the world are now welcome in Canada.
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[cliftonbeier]

after reading your information about the refusal letter, I think that you just need to focus on the reason why you have been refused and try to improve it as your mistakes

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