Sponsorship problem, they started to demand money I feel scammed!

[JustMarried81]

I got married last month to my gf so she is my wife. and she lived in Canada and me in Europe.

She starts fights for any reasons and just last week she told me if I wanted to come to Canada. I would have to do like everyone else. "Pay for it" demanding money to sign for my paper works or else I won't be coming. I don't come from a 3rd world country to go to Canada so badly. I could careless to go there at all. I make double the money in my home country. It sucks I blew a lot of money to be with this person and paid to travel around the world. But I feel beyond used, and not to mention the nightmares because of this.

I just want to end it all. I don't care to go to Canada at all to earn $10.25 per hour were here I get $14.50 after taxes paid everything with dental etc.

I just want to have the divorce down, we got married last month in Jan. My options? I feel blackmailed for money, and I feel beyond used.

Is there anything I can do to avoid this? I didn't even send in the paper work to get started yet. I just want to end this all.

Now she is acting in the emails like it's my fault and I have anger problems. Well who would not after being in love married to someone and they want to end it over a tiny fight??? I really need help. I got married in Ontario! I come from a Luxembourg (very rich country).

 

[frankinto]

You don't have to go ahead with it if you don't want to. Even after you send your paperwork, you are free to change your mind. If you want to apply for divorce, you can do it after one year of separation.

There is information about this here: http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/divorce/default.asp. You can switch to the French version at the top right of the page if required.

 

[McDutch]

Are you sure she isn't just asking for the money it takes to sponsor someone?

You do realize it costs over $1000 to sponsor someone.

Also, scamming someone as a sponsor is the dumbest scam in the world.

 

[JustMarried81]

I never sent in the paper work at all. We were in the process of doing things and getting proof. I could barely sleep last night.

Thank you so much Frankinto.

McDutch - She has some debt of $18k, I knew about this before. We went on vacation trips, spent time and so on. One minute she's good the next minute she's someone else and flips out. She got into a fight with me, cause I didn't reply back to her on skype. so I had enough and told her she was messed up in the head. Then everything breaks down from that part. I can't deal with someone like that, this is abusing me in a big way here. And stressing me out a lot! $1,000 to sponsor someone? I have no motive to be in Canada at all. Only for the fast food. Last time I was there during christmas I gained 12 pounds in 15 days. That's how bad it is. Anyways, I just want this to be over with. I was thinking she was the one. Her polish back ground along with my moms and all. But I guess I failed. When I talk about spending money for lawyers to do my paper work she goes "That's not my problem, that's for your own good" $3k in fees including lawyer for that and this is what she tells me? She sits home all day and only workingn part time and even told me many times once I get there she'll stop working. I got a feeling she only seen money in me.

 

[McDutch]

Sounds like immigration is the least of your worries.

And yeah, with lawyer fees it is easily 3K to sponsor you. Are you sure you have been doing your part? If i was your wife i'd freak out as well if you have no intention of coming to Canada and rather stay where you are. This problem isn't immigration related at all, what you need is relationship advice.

 

[JustMarried81]

"Like I said, you want your papers, they will costs you. Otherwise I'm not co-operating with you on that." "Don't bother me. I am looking into this divorce thing. If you want your papers still you can pay me like everyone else pays others. END OF STORY! I'm done with you."

I am lost for words. This is not how someone you love should talk back. I married her last month, married for 6 or 7 weeks and then she changes on me?

Even her mom pushed for me to get married to her daughter and even told me if I had problems to contact her cause she knows she is not an easy one to deal with. And last night she does a full 360 on me!

 

[JustMarried81]

Sounds like immigration is the least of your worries.

And yeah, with lawyer fees it is easily 3K to sponsor you. Are you sure you have been doing your part? If i was your wife i'd freak out as well if you have no intention of coming to Canada and rather stay where you are. This problem isn't immigration related at all, what you need is relationship advice.

My intentions were to go there to be with her and get a normal 9 to 5 job at $10 or $11 an hour. I wasted so much to be with this women and now she wants money for it? WOW. I want to call up immigration in that city and cancel it all and mention she wants money for it. I see this as a scam.

 

[McDutch]

Considering you haven't even send in the paperwork there isn't much going on.

But here is how this "scam" would work.

She would ask you for money to pay for the paperwork, while never sending it in.
That is the only thing you can get scammed on.

It would be incredibly dumb for her to sponsor you to get $3000 bucks since she will be financially responsible for you afterwards.

But like i said before, it sounds like you married the wrong person and should look into a divorce lawyer instead of an immigration lawyer.

 

[JustMarried81]

Considering you haven't even send in the paperwork there isn't much going on.

But here is how this "scam" would work.

She would ask you for money to pay for the paperwork, while never sending it in.
That is the only thing you can get scammed on.

It would be incredibly dumb for her to sponsor you to get $3000 bucks since she will be financially responsible for you afterwards.

But like i said before, it sounds like you married the wrong person and should look into a divorce lawyer instead of an immigration lawyer.

Alright thank you. She never did mention how much she wanted. She is doing the divorce part. Emailed me some links last night and so on. I can't believe this what a nightmare! You would think going around the world on romantic resorts, and having a blast everyone say you are perfect, and then you believe you are perfect cause you both have what you want in each other then that! I just can't believe it. If I lived on the 50th floor of some building I'd jump off of it right now.

Thanks and no I didn't send in anything to immigration thank god! Now this has to be on my record forever, I can't even have a big church wedding like I wanted to some day. GREAT!

 

[frankinto]

If she is not the right person for you, it's better to realize it now than after you move to Canada! Besides, you already live in a great country.

 

[JustMarried81]

If she is not the right person for you, it's better to realize it now than after you move to Canada! Besides, you already live in a great country.

Thank you, I could of not said it better myself! Just she is threatening me with immigration and all. I just want to fwd them the emails. I just want this to be over already and 12 months omg.

I can't believe all of this. I'll look more into this link.

 

[Mevakesh]

Alright thank you. She never did mention how much she wanted. She is doing the divorce part. Emailed me some links last night and so on. I can't believe this what a nightmare! You would think going around the world on romantic resorts, and having a blast everyone say you are perfect, and then you believe you are perfect cause you both have what you want in each other then that! I just can't believe it. If I lived on the 50th floor of some building I'd jump off of it right now.

Thanks and no I didn't send in anything to immigration thank god! Now this has to be on my record forever, I can't even have a big church wedding like I wanted to some day. GREAT!

Be very grateful you realized this before moving here. Especially since you were aiming for a $10-$11 9-5 job. You can't have a decent life with that sort of income, especially if she had no plans to work. Would be living in poverty basically....

 

[gsize]

although im not a Lawyer, it seems like your 'wife' is doing a good job at implicating herself. NOt too bright if you ask me.



it seems like you are a very decent guy. We need more people likeyou here ! Cut your losees and move on ! ???

 

[frankinto]

Thank you, I could of not said it better myself! Just she is threatening me with immigration and all. I just want to fwd them the emails. I just want this to be over already and 12 months omg.

I can't believe all of this. I'll look more into this link.

I understand how you feel, but if you do want the relationship to be over, think it's best to just forget about the immigration process, consider yourself separated and just wait. In Canada, the behaviour of the spouses isn't really taken into consideration in cases of divorce. In other words, you cannot divorce faster in this case, and in the circumstances you describe, you cannot get an annullment either.

 

[frankinto]

Be very grateful you realized this before moving here. Especially since you were aiming for a $10-$11 9-5 job. You can't have a decent life with that sort of income, especially if she had no plans to work. Would be living in poverty basically....

I agree, working at minimum wage is not enough in many Canadian cities.