Sponsoring Conjugal Partner from Philippines?

[S_and_C]

Hi everyone,

I have a question about Conjugal partner sponsorship. If anyone has read any of my other posts, you likely have an idea of my situation already. I have a decent idea of the requirements for applying for Conjugal, but I am unsure if our situation would result in a successful application.

Just some background, my fiance and I met in December 2014 online, she lives in the Philippines. I am a single dad with 2 young kids (11 and 5 years old) that I have full custody, and she has no kids. It's worth noting that I don't have much of a support network here where i live with regards to my kids, my parents live far away and my ex is only minimally involved with my kids. I was only able to visit my fiance once in March 2015 for a week, so the majority of our relationship has been online via Skype and texting, but we've kept decent track of our relationship proof including pictures and chat/video logs. As of Dec 7, 2015 we would be at 1 year and can consider applying for Conjugal Partner sponsorship.

I've read that the requirements for conjugal means we couldn't spend time together to be considered common-law due to an immigration barrier and/or there is some other barrier to getting married. I want to describe how we might qualify and then get the opinion of the folks here to see if we might be successful.

Immigration Barrier: Early this year we tried twice to apply for a TRV for her to come me visit here in Canada, but for various reasons were rejected. I was only able to visit her in the Philippines for a week in March 2015, and for that it was very difficult to coordinate care for my kids, plus I missed them terribly and they really need me. So the ideal situation would be for her to come visit me so that we can cohabitate, but this isn't possible. Me going there for extended periods is out of the question because of my obligations to my kids, and their well being is most important to me.

Marriage: I want to marry her, but in order to do that I would have to travel to the Philippines for at least 3-4 weeks in order to have time to complete all the requirements. The first few days getting everything required to apply for a marriage license, the 10 day posting period of waiting for the license to be released, then the ceremony etc. I simply can't go to the Philippines for that long without my kids, they wouldn't understand at their age, and they need my presence because I'm the only person who is a constant in their life. I also don't want to take my kids with me due to the length of the trip and the cost, and I would feel like I'd be putting them at too much risk. My first obligation will always be my kids, but I want the woman I love to be by my side as well. I've also been told that marrying without spending too much physical time together is considered a red flag to CIC, and it might be viewed as a marriage of convenience. I don't want to ruin our chances of being together because we married "too early", and then have the CIC close the door on us.

So to summarize, she can't come visit me here in Canada due to 2 TRV refusals. We can't marry right now for reasons stated, but we want to be together long term. Will the reasons I've stated be sufficient for the CIC to consider our application? Will they understand my situation and the importance of my kids' well being that is preventing us from being together and being married?

Thanks in advance for any advice,
S_and_C

 

[sashali78]

Hi everyone,

I have a question about Conjugal partner sponsorship. If anyone has read any of my other posts, you likely have an idea of my situation already. I have a decent idea of the requirements for applying for Conjugal, but I am unsure if our situation would result in a successful application.

Just some background, my fiance and I met in December 2014 online, she lives in the Philippines. I am a single dad with 2 young kids (11 and 5 years old) that I have full custody, and she has no kids. It's worth noting that I don't have much of a support network here where i live with regards to my kids, my parents live far away and my ex is only minimally involved with my kids. I was only able to visit my fiance once in March 2015 for a week, so the majority of our relationship has been online via Skype and texting, but we've kept decent track of our relationship proof including pictures and chat/video logs. As of Dec 7, 2015 we would be at 1 year and can consider applying for Conjugal Partner sponsorship.

I've read that the requirements for conjugal means we couldn't spend time together to be considered common-law due to an immigration barrier and/or there is some other barrier to getting married. I want to describe how we might qualify and then get the opinion of the folks here to see if we might be successful.

Immigration Barrier: Early this year we tried twice to apply for a TRV for her to come me visit here in Canada, but for various reasons were rejected. I was only able to visit her in the Philippines for a week in March 2015, and for that it was very difficult to coordinate care for my kids, plus I missed them terribly and they really need me. So the ideal situation would be for her to come visit me so that we can cohabitate, but this isn't possible. Me going there for extended periods is out of the question because of my obligations to my kids, and their well being is most important to me.

Marriage: I want to marry her, but in order to do that I would have to travel to the Philippines for at least 3-4 weeks in order to have time to complete all the requirements. The first few days getting everything required to apply for a marriage license, the 10 day posting period of waiting for the license to be released, then the ceremony etc. I simply can't go to the Philippines for that long without my kids, they wouldn't understand at their age, and they need my presence because I'm the only person who is a constant in their life. I also don't want to take my kids with me due to the length of the trip and the cost, and I would feel like I'd be putting them at too much risk. My first obligation will always be my kids, but I want the woman I love to be by my side as well. I've also been told that marrying without spending too much physical time together is considered a red flag to CIC, and it might be viewed as a marriage of convenience. I don't want to ruin our chances of being together because we married "too early", and then have the CIC close the door on us.

So to summarize, she can't come visit me here in Canada due to 2 TRV refusals. We can't marry right now for reasons stated, but we want to be together long term. Will the reasons I've stated be sufficient for the CIC to consider our application? Will they understand my situation and the importance of my kids' well being that is preventing us from being together and being married?

Thanks in advance for any advice,
S_and_C

Your reasons would not be considered a real barrier to marriage, don't waste your time on conjugal application, it will be denied. The reasons must be way more substantial in order to qualify (legal, war, etc).

 

[Rob_TO]

Immigration Barrier: Early this year we tried twice to apply for a TRV for her to come me visit here in Canada, but for various reasons were rejected. I was only able to visit her in the Philippines for a week in March 2015, and for that it was very difficult to coordinate care for my kids, plus I missed them terribly and they really need me. So the ideal situation would be for her to come visit me so that we can cohabitate, but this isn't possible. Me going there for extended periods is out of the question because of my obligations to my kids, and their well being is most important to me.

Conjugal apps are mainly reserved for those from Philippines who are previously married so can't get a divorce under Philippines law, and who can't get a TRV to live in Canada with their partner.

IMO your reason will not be seen as a valid reason for conjugal app and will most likely end in rejection after a long processing time. Countless people travel with their kids to Philippines every single year, and your concern on cost of travel or difficulty in getting a babysitter is not relevant to CIC. They will see your reasons as your own personal decision not to travel there and get married, not as a real immigration/legal barrier.

You would be better off making as short a visit to the Philippines as possible to get married, and then returning back to Canada and applying.

 

[scylla]

I've also been told that marrying without spending too much physical time together is considered a red flag to CIC, and it might be viewed as a marriage of convenience. I don't want to ruin our chances of being together because we married "too early", and then have the CIC close the door on us.

You'll have the exact same problem if you submit a conjugal application without having spent very much time together.

Agree with what others have said. You face no real immigration barriers to marriage.

 

[embopj]

[size=10pt][size=10pt]I heard your concerns I suggest you to have one more quick visit in the Philippines, as I read on your post you visited her once. and try to set Joint account while your there like BDO-bank, set up your last will and declare her as one of your beneficiary, print all your call logs like telephone bill. exchange airmails etc.. I have my own form here search it out under my user ID read it from 1st page you will have idea how I get succeeded to have PR
[/size][/size]

Hi everyone,

I have a question about Conjugal partner sponsorship. If anyone has read any of my other posts, you likely have an idea of my situation already. I have a decent idea of the requirements for applying for Conjugal, but I am unsure if our situation would result in a successful application.

Just some background, my fiance and I met in December 2014 online, she lives in the Philippines. I am a single dad with 2 young kids (11 and 5 years old) that I have full custody, and she has no kids. It's worth noting that I don't have much of a support network here where i live with regards to my kids, my parents live far away and my ex is only minimally involved with my kids. I was only able to visit my fiance once in March 2015 for a week, so the majority of our relationship has been online via Skype and texting, but we've kept decent track of our relationship proof including pictures and chat/video logs. As of Dec 7, 2015 we would be at 1 year and can consider applying for Conjugal Partner sponsorship.

I've read that the requirements for conjugal means we couldn't spend time together to be considered common-law due to an immigration barrier and/or there is some other barrier to getting married. I want to describe how we might qualify and then get the opinion of the folks here to see if we might be successful.

Immigration Barrier: Early this year we tried twice to apply for a TRV for her to come me visit here in Canada, but for various reasons were rejected. I was only able to visit her in the Philippines for a week in March 2015, and for that it was very difficult to coordinate care for my kids, plus I missed them terribly and they really need me. So the ideal situation would be for her to come visit me so that we can cohabitate, but this isn't possible. Me going there for extended periods is out of the question because of my obligations to my kids, and their well being is most important to me.

Marriage: I want to marry her, but in order to do that I would have to travel to the Philippines for at least 3-4 weeks in order to have time to complete all the requirements. The first few days getting everything required to apply for a marriage license, the 10 day posting period of waiting for the license to be released, then the ceremony etc. I simply can't go to the Philippines for that long without my kids, they wouldn't understand at their age, and they need my presence because I'm the only person who is a constant in their life. I also don't want to take my kids with me due to the length of the trip and the cost, and I would feel like I'd be putting them at too much risk. My first obligation will always be my kids, but I want the woman I love to be by my side as well. I've also been told that marrying without spending too much physical time together is considered a red flag to CIC, and it might be viewed as a marriage of convenience. I don't want to ruin our chances of being together because we married "too early", and then have the CIC close the door on us.

So to summarize, she can't come visit me here in Canada due to 2 TRV refusals. We can't marry right now for reasons stated, but we want to be together long term. Will the reasons I've stated be sufficient for the CIC to consider our application? Will they understand my situation and the importance of my kids' well being that is preventing us from being together and being married?

Thanks in advance for any advice,
S_and_C

 

[1Wayne1]

You may apply as a conjugal partner if:

You have maintained a conjugal relationship with your sponsor for at least 1 year;
You have been prevented from living together or marrying because of:
An immigration barrier;
Your marital status (e.g., you are married to someone else and living in a country where divorce is not possible); OR
Your sexual orientation (e.g., you are in a same-sex relationship and same-sex marriage is not permitted where you live);
You can provide evidence of an impediment to living together (e.g., evidence of refused long-term stays in each other's country).

You should not apply as a conjugal partner if:

You could have lived together but chose not to, indicating that you did not have the level of commitment required of a conjugal relationship (e.g., you did not want to give up a job or a course of study, or your relationship was not yet at the point where you were ready to live together); OR
You are unable to provide evidence of an impediment that prevented you from living together; OR
You are engaged to be married. In this case, you should either apply as a spouse once the marriage has taken place or apply as a common-law partner if you have lived together continuously for at least 12 months.
****
My advice ...If you are convinced you both are in love for the right reasons, get your butt down there for a week and marry her . Then come back here and start the process. Just be prepared for a very very long waiting time while CIC processes your app.

 

[S_and_C]

You may apply as a conjugal partner if:

You have maintained a conjugal relationship with your sponsor for at least 1 year;
You have been prevented from living together or marrying because of:
An immigration barrier;
Your marital status (e.g., you are married to someone else and living in a country where divorce is not possible); OR
Your sexual orientation (e.g., you are in a same-sex relationship and same-sex marriage is not permitted where you live);
You can provide evidence of an impediment to living together (e.g., evidence of refused long-term stays in each other's country).

You should not apply as a conjugal partner if:

You could have lived together but chose not to, indicating that you did not have the level of commitment required of a conjugal relationship (e.g., you did not want to give up a job or a course of study, or your relationship was not yet at the point where you were ready to live together); OR
You are unable to provide evidence of an impediment that prevented you from living together; OR
You are engaged to be married. In this case, you should either apply as a spouse once the marriage has taken place or apply as a common-law partner if you have lived together continuously for at least 12 months.
****
My advice ...If you are convinced you both are in love for the right reasons, get your butt down there for a week and marry her . Then come back here and start the process. Just be prepared for a very very long waiting time while CIC processes your app.

Thanks for the advice, but the reality is 3-4 weeks are required to get the license etc and get married, and I can't leave my kids for that long. I actually had everything planned to go visit there on Sep 25, but on the day I was supposed to leave I just couldn't leave my kids behind. I know I could have and maybe they would have been fine, but I'm a father and a mother to them both. In another reply above by Rob_TO, it says me not travelling there is a "personal choice", and not a valid barrier to the CIC. But given my situation, it feels like discrimination against single parents raising kids here in Canada that fall in love with a foreigner and want them here with them, yet have my kids as my primary responsibility. This is why I want to try the Conjugal partner route.

If we did combine our affairs as much as possible, like naming her in my will, beneficiary of RRSP and Benefits coverage would that be enough? We can't get a joint bank account unless we both physically apply for one together either here in Canada or in the Philippines.

 

[zardoz]

Thanks for the advice, but the reality is 3-4 weeks are required to get the license etc and get married, and I can't leave my kids for that long. I actually had everything planned to go visit there on Sep 25, but on the day I was supposed to leave I just couldn't leave my kids behind. I know I could have and maybe they would have been fine, but I'm a father and a mother to them both. In another reply above by Rob_TO, it says me not travelling there is a "personal choice", and not a valid barrier to the CIC. But given my situation, it feels like discrimination against single parents raising kids here in Canada that fall in love with a foreigner and want them here with them, yet have my kids as my primary responsibility. This is why I want to try the Conjugal partner route.

If we did combine our affairs as much as possible, like naming her in my will, beneficiary of RRSP and Benefits coverage would that be enough? We can't get a joint bank account unless we both physically apply for one together either here in Canada or in the Philippines.

Good luck but I think that you are wasting your time and money going down this route. A "barrier" means that you CAN'T not that you WON'T.

 

[Rob_TO]

Thanks for the advice, but the reality is 3-4 weeks are required to get the license etc and get married, and I can't leave my kids for that long. I actually had everything planned to go visit there on Sep 25, but on the day I was supposed to leave I just couldn't leave my kids behind. I know I could have and maybe they would have been fine, but I'm a father and a mother to them both. In another reply above by Rob_TO, it says me not travelling there is a "personal choice", and not a valid barrier to the CIC. But given my situation, it feels like discrimination against single parents raising kids here in Canada that fall in love with a foreigner and want them here with them, yet have my kids as my primary responsibility. This is why I want to try the Conjugal partner route.

As I also mentioned, countless people travel to the Philippines every year with their kids. You may have what you think are valid reasons for not going, but these reasons are not legal or immigration reasons... hence it is your personal choice.

Legal or immigration reasons are basically the only 2 barriers CIC is looking for. It needs to be physically impossible for you to get married or travel to see each other. Your work, money, kids, etc are not seen as real barriers. You are certainly free to try and submit a conjugal app and plead your case, however the most likely result is the visa officer will reject it. You can then of course launch an appeal and take it before a judge, but just expect to pay thousands in lawyer fees and an extra couple years in the appeals process, which still has a pretty low chance of succeeding.

You will really have a much easier and quicker time of everything if you can just find a way to travel there for a couple weeks to get married, then return and submit the application as a married couple.

 

[mikeymyke]

Do you have any family members that could watch your kids for a couple weeks while you're gone? You mentioned that you and the kids still have a good relationship with your ex-wife despite having full custody, and your ex even chatted with your partner on Skype, so it looks like she would likely be supportive of you going to get married, and watching the kids for you. After all, she is the mother, so she should be spending more time with her kids anyway.

Also as everybody mentioned, your application will be refused guaranteed, if you apply conjugal, given your circumstances.

I'm not familiar with Filipino weddings, but are you sure it takes 3-4 weeks to get all the necessary documents to sponsor? From what I've read online, it seems it only takes about 10 days for the office to release the marriage license, and even though it takes 1-2 months for the marriage certificate to be issued, you yourself don't need to be present for the certificate, just your spouse alone can handle it.

Don't be too discouraged with the process, many people here, such as myself, have to go through big financial and personal hurdles to bring our spouses to Canada. It's a relatively small price to pay when you think about it, considering she's going to be living in a free and prosperous country for the rest of her life, and her future kids, grand kids, etc will all become Canadians.

 

[canadalover4987]

We can't get a joint bank account unless we both physically apply for one together either here in Canada or in the Philippines.

I am a Canadian and I know that this is really disappointing. We are in a very similar situation except I don't have any kids and i was not married at all. My transgender partner is in the Philippines. I would like to share my experience, i hope this will help:


- I met my partner in an online dating site last January of 2014.

-I started sending her money since April 2014 up to present. I also send some parcels and i kept all the records. We also keep our post cards and letters.

-We bought a lot property in Florida under our names around June of 2014.

-I personally met her and stayed in her house last January 2015. I stayed for 2 months. by this time, we had Holy union attended by her family members, some relatives and friends (same sex marriage is not permitted in the Philippines), We traveled together in HK, We opened a joint bank account in the Philippines, we are able to attend our chosen charity institution and did couples counselling attended by license Psychologist. We kept all pictures together with her family members. All the emails and chat conversation was kept. We have last will and testament, living will and special power of attorney. We also i have insurance naming her as my beneficiary. All the purchased items was also kept. (in other words, we kept all essential proof that we think might help in my case)

- She was first denied by a TRV in Canada last June 2015.

- We wanted to get legally married in New York so it would be easy but she was denied for Tourist Visa in the US last July 2015. Now we have 2 refusals (this shows a strong immigration barrier for us to get married and be together)

NOW... I will visit her this December 2015 and hopefully can stay for 2-3 months (this is going to be my 2nd visit and we will travel together) She may try another TRV in Canada, but if still denied, --- then we will apply for Outland PR Conjugal application.


Conjugal Application is very gruesome process and only CIC have the answer. In CIC point of view is "WHAT HINDERS ME AND MY PARTNER TO BE TOGETHER FOR AT LEAST 1 WHOLE YEAR"


I was advised by some people here to apply for Common law wherein we have to be together under 1 roof for 1 entire year, There are some people saying that Conjugal application is fine. I guess its how you will present your case to CIC together with all compelling evidences.

As Canadian, i can only stay in the Philippines for 59 days. I am still working on my Philippine visa if possible to get 1 whole year. If i live in the Philippines, i wont have income and how would i be able to support her. I don't want to retire in the Philippines. I want her here in Canada as we have lots of benefits and opportunity rather than staying in the Philippines. Common law is my last resort if my conjugal application wont work.


THIS IS YOUR CASE:

You can open joint bank account in the Philippines even if you just stayed for a week, since your partner is a Filipina, then that wont have any issue at all, she will become your co-maker and bank will accept that. You have to show compelling evidences why cant you be together. You need to show all evidences above and beyond that your relationship with your partner is genuine and marriage like.


This is what most likely CIC would think about your case:

1. YOU HAVE OPTION TO GET MARRIED BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO? You said that you cant afford to stay in the Philippines to get married because of your kids, CIC may think that you can simply ask your parents, relatives or ex-wife to look after your kids, or you may bring your kids with you. but you just don't like it or cant afford it. CIC may possibly show compassionate humanitarian consideration if one of your kids has serious mental/physical illness that need 24/7 attention. You may say that your parents are old and they cant look after your kids Or you have no close relatives Or your ex wife is irresponsible. YOU NEED TO SUPPORT YOUR STATEMENT and SHOW PROOF. You cannot just say "ohhh i will miss my kids that's why i cant marry the woman i love" - then that is not real love. Love conquers all.

2. ARE YOU CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO PRESENT ALL YOUR COMPELLING EVIDENCES TO SHOW MARRIAGE LIKE RELATIONSHIP? As i understand, you only met her once for a week, did you both travel together? did you combined your assets or have joint bank account? If you think you have all required evidences, then think again. YOU NEED TO SHOW ABOVE AND BEYOND. Do you send post card? Do you have affidavit from some of your friends and family that she is someone really special and vice versa? Sad to say, CIC will see this as you are only dating especially if you only stayed for a week. Time is of the essence. There is no formula to make this process faster.

3. IS MARRIAGE ONLY YOUR OPTION? My answer is NO. The CIC will not force anyone to be in marriage if you are happy and satisfied with your current living situation. I have someone in my thread who had SUCCESSFUL APPLICATION after several trv rejection, his partner is also from the Philippines, they don't want to get married and rush things out. All they want is to be together, they are in marriage like situation and they presented their case in CIC --- it was APPROVED.

This is how they did it:

-They applied for trv in Canada but was rejected 4 times i think, then they applied for outland conjugal application which will take 16 months. While on process, then they applied for a trv and stated that they have outland conjugal application and show evidences that she can afford to fly back anytime if need too in order to process the PR conjugal application. She was granted a trv good for 6 months.

The last time i spoke to him, they are planning to extend the trv so they can cohabitate for 1 year. But im not sure if she was granted for another 6 months or not. Assuming she was granted, then their current living situation will fall under COMMON LAW, they are no longer qualify for CONJUGAL, therefore the conjugal application will most likely be denied. However, they can apply for common law and chances are big. (ofcourse only CIC can tell, please note that no one here can predict if its going to be approve or not. even you hire immigration lawyers, only CIC can decide based on your evidence)

If she was denied trv for another 6 months, then they may use that to present in CIC that "hey we wanted to be in common law atleast for 1 year but she was denied" then she has to go back in the Philippines for her conjugal application with no issue at their current living situation. Ofcourse we don't know if she was approved or not. Do you see the picture?

All cases are UNIQUE you will never know the answer unless you tried it. People on this site will just guide you but in the end of the day, its still your call. Just be prepared and do all your BEST. I wish you Good luck. Great intention will always pay off.

 

[scylla]

I am a Canadian and I know that this is really disappointing. We are in a very similar situation except I don't have any kids and i was not married at all. My transgender partner is in the Philippines. I would like to share my experience, i hope this will help:

Your situation is actually completely different than the OP's since same sex marriage isn't recognized in the Philippines - in other words, it is impossible for you to get married. The conjugal class was create for people in your situation and I hope your application is approved.

I agree with what others have said. Unfortunately I think the OP is going to have challenges with his application if he goes the conjugal route since there are no immigration barriers to marriage. Additionally, having spent only one week together physically, I think it's going to be impossible to prove they have a "marriage like relationship" to have any hopes of a long shot at conjugal.

 

[Rob_TO]

3. IS MARRIAGE ONLY YOUR OPTION? My answer is NO. The CIC will not force anyone to be in marriage if you are happy and satisfied with your current living situation. I have someone in my thread who had SUCCESSFUL APPLICATION after several trv rejection, his partner is also from the Philippines, they don't want to get married and rush things out. All they want is to be together, they are in marriage like situation and they presented their case in CIC --- it was APPROVED.

In general if a couple wants to get married (so they don't have a fundamental opposition to marriage in general), and there are no legal or immigration barriers to get married... then CIC expects you to be married. In this case the couple wants to get married to they are basically fiancees, of which CIC states some specific rules around conjugal:

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/op/op02-eng.pdf

5.45. What is a conjugal partner?
Because of Supreme Court decisions, the choice not to marry is a constitutionally protected
choice. Thus, CIC cannot require couples to marry in order to immigrate. However, if they are not
married, they must be common-law partners. There is NO provision for fiancé(e)s or “intended
common-law partners” in IRPA. If a Canadian and a foreign national can get married or can live
together and establish a common-law relationship, this is what they are expected to have done
before they submit sponsorship and immigration applications.


5.46. Can conjugal partners be substitutes for fiancé(e)s?
Conjugal partners are NOT substitutes for fiancé(e)s. CIC decided that it no longer wanted to be
in the business of assessing future relationships or the intention of two individuals to establish and
maintain a conjugal relationship. Thus, there is no fiancé(e) category in the IRPA and Regulations.
If they intend to apply as spouses, Canadians and their foreign national fiancé(e)s are expected
to be married before the immigration process takes place, i.e., the foreign national must be
married to the Canadian sponsor and apply to immigrate as a married spouse.
Fiancé(e)s are individuals who intend to marry and intend to establish a conjugal relationship. In
most cases, they have not yet established a conjugal relationship. They intend to combine their
affairs and become mutually interdependent, but have not yet done so. Even if they have a sexual
relationship, they have not yet achieved the level of mutual interdependence that characterizes a
conjugal relationship although they intend to do so at some point when they marry.
Most traditional fiancé(e)s cannot meet the definition of conjugal partner. They have not merged
their affairs and established the required mutual interdependency. As well, conjugal partners must
have established a sexual relationship, and traditional fiancé(e)s would be unlikely to meet this
criterion.

 

[S_and_C]

Thanks everyone for your input...

zardoz / Rob_TO:
Yes, I can see your point that there is no legal or immigration barrier to me travelling there and getting married. It was a personal choice to stay with my kids, something I had to weigh in my own mind and in the days leading up to the day I was to leave, caused me so much stress and conflict. Even though I had everything planned out and had my Mom visit for the past few weeks intending for her to watch them while I travelled there. Everything was ready to go... except me. Of course, the other major thing on my mind was the red flag we would create due to having only spent less than a month together total over a 10 month period. I have the feeling that waiting longer is our only option, and seeing if she can come here under one of the other streams such as Express Entry or Study, but even then each of those has its own challenges.

mikeymyke:
My ex's situation is unique in that she has had medical problems the past 2 years that restricts what she can do, though she does visit the kids a few times a week in the evenings after school. Before we divorced, there was a year and a half where she spent less and less time with the kids and me, and put more of her time to her own interests, and I was left behind to take care of the kids and do everything around the house. This was a big factor in why I wanted a divorce of course, and indicates that beyond her medical problems there is a psychological factor at work where she feels dissociated from the kids. So really, the only person I could get to watch the kids is my Mom, and as I mentioned she was here for a little over 2 weeks. She is a fiesty 61 year old, but I think it would have been challenging for her.

As for marriage in the Philippines, I would have had to do the following:
- get Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry on the first weekday after arrival.
- attend the family planning seminar and apply for the marrige license, same day if the timing worked out, otherwise the next day.
- 11th day after the license is applied for it is released, and we can then get married, but it depends if that 11th day falls on a weekend or not, then we would need to visit the Local Registry Office the following monday to receive it.
- also the wedding day would be better timed over a weekend, so planning is involved to schedule things out.

So really, the bare minimum of time is about 2 and a half weeks, though 3 weeks makes it more comfortable. And thank you for the encouragement, every one of us needs that in our situations, the long process and waiting and not being able to be together.

canadalover / scylla:
Thanks canadalover for your detailed reply. We haven't joined our affairs as much as possible to mirror a marriage-like relationship, and like others have stated you point out a lot of the things that would make conjugal not the best path for us right now. Time is the essence of our problem, and the timing just isn't right for us right now. Even if we went ahead and setup things like a joint bank account etc, it would all likely be perceived as just trying to hit all the items on their checklist instead of being real links between us. Given that she has not been able to visit here, and only spending a week so far together, they would likely question it.

Thanks again to all who have replied, you have all been very helpful.
S_and_C

 

[mikeymyke]

So what do you plan on doing now?