SOP review!

[Jagjit2019]

Hello All,

Please review and advice if applicable. Thanks in advance.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

Name: - Jagjit .........................

College: - Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology, Sudbury, Canada

Course Applied: - Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics


Introduction and Academic Background

I am Jagjit, a sincere, ambitious, dedicated and an honest person. I am a strong believer of myself and I always seek to develop new ideas by applying principles of existing theories. I believe that knowledge is an unending process and wish to associate myself with new venues of knowledge and learning. I have been brought up in a very loving and caring family, which has always encouraged me to pursue whatever I felt like doing. As far as my academics are concerned, I have successfully completed my Secondary and Senior Secondary in Commerce stream from Indian School Certificate Examination and later on I did Bachelor of Business Administration from University of Calcutta and Post Graduate Diploma in Business Administration (Distance Learning) from Symbiosis.

Professional Experience:

Organization	Designation	Year (to and from)
XXXXXXX Aviation Limited	Agent- Security	12/2012 – 12/2013
XXXXXXX (Big 4 firm)	Senior Process Associate	01/2014 – 05/2019
XXXXXXX (US MNC)	Senior Accounting Associate	06/2019 – till date

While working along with these organizations I have learned and experienced many things but I wish to enhance my knowledge in a specialized field as it is the current demand of my job profile and that is the reason I have planned to study Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics from one of the best college of Canada that is Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology. Furthermore, to meet the entrance requirement for the college under SDS category I have also appeared for International English Language Proficiency Test and scored overall 7.5 bands (individual scores are: Listening – 8.5, Reading – 6.5, Writing – 7.5 and Speaking – 7.0).

Reason for Choosing This Course

After completing my bachelor’s, I was having sufficient knowledge related to my field and have also gained work experience of more than nine years but now I wish to upgrade an accredited professional qualification. That is the reason after doing all the research work and discussing with my family and friends I have planned to opt for this course which is Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics. As through this course I will be getting the opportunity to enhance my knowledge related to database design and management, statistics and programming for business analytics, market research, data mining, data visualization, and decision‐making through analytics.

During this course I will be studying following subjects:

• Database Mgmt. & Warehousing
• Foundations of Data Analytics
• Statistics for Data Analytics
• Programming for Analytics
• Stats and Data Visualization
• GIS Mapping
• Connected Data

Moreover, “Cambrian College” is one of the very renowned brand names which have been providing quality education from many years. This course of mine would provide me an opportunity to extend my interests and knowledge in technical field.


Future Prospects

After successful completion of Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics, I will have an overall development in my ability and attitude. Since my course will make me understand and learn about business analysis, information system, economics and financial analysis, operations management, contracting and procurement management practices. It will develop leadership, organizational, interpersonal, meeting and presentation skills, so this would not only help me to enhance my theoretical knowledge about different aspects of computer science and technology for data analysis but also to achieve and excel in my work. I strongly affirm that the knowledge & communication skills which I will acquire in this one year of my study in Canada will help me stand globally. Moreover, Canadian education is recognized in many countries around the world. My study in Canada would act as a platform and give a global boost to my career. After completing this course I can work as business analyst, business system analyst, project manager, informatics consultant, computer system analyst or management information systems (MIS) analyst.

Additionally, in future I would like to come back to my home country India as there are huge job prospects for techno – managerial professionals.

 

[yesWeCanada]

Hello All,

Please review and advice if applicable. Thanks in advance.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

Name: - Jagjit .........................

College: - Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology, Sudbury, Canada

Course Applied: - Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics


Introduction and Academic Background

I am Jagjit, a sincere, ambitious, dedicated and an honest person. I am a strong believer of myself and I always seek to develop new ideas by applying principles of existing theories. I believe that knowledge is an unending process and wish to associate myself with new venues of knowledge and learning. I have been brought up in a very loving and caring family, which has always encouraged me to pursue whatever I felt like doing. As far as my academics are concerned, I have successfully completed my Secondary and Senior Secondary in Commerce stream from Indian School Certificate Examination and later on I did Bachelor of Business Administration from University of Calcutta and Post Graduate Diploma in Business Administration (Distance Learning) from Symbiosis.

Professional Experience:

Organization	Designation	Year (to and from)
XXXXXXX Aviation Limited	Agent- Security	12/2012 – 12/2013
XXXXXXX (Big 4 firm)	Senior Process Associate	01/2014 – 05/2019
XXXXXXX (US MNC)	Senior Accounting Associate	06/2019 – till date

While working along with these organizations I have learned and experienced many things but I wish to enhance my knowledge in a specialized field as it is the current demand of my job profile and that is the reason I have planned to study Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics from one of the best college of Canada that is Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology. Furthermore, to meet the entrance requirement for the college under SDS category I have also appeared for International English Language Proficiency Test and scored overall 7.5 bands (individual scores are: Listening – 8.5, Reading – 6.5, Writing – 7.5 and Speaking – 7.0).

Reason for Choosing This Course

After completing my bachelor’s, I was having sufficient knowledge related to my field and have also gained work experience of more than nine years but now I wish to upgrade an accredited professional qualification. That is the reason after doing all the research work and discussing with my family and friends I have planned to opt for this course which is Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics. As through this course I will be getting the opportunity to enhance my knowledge related to database design and management, statistics and programming for business analytics, market research, data mining, data visualization, and decision‐making through analytics.

During this course I will be studying following subjects:

• Database Mgmt. & Warehousing
• Foundations of Data Analytics
• Statistics for Data Analytics
• Programming for Analytics
• Stats and Data Visualization
• GIS Mapping
• Connected Data

Moreover, “Cambrian College” is one of the very renowned brand names which have been providing quality education from many years. This course of mine would provide me an opportunity to extend my interests and knowledge in technical field.


Future Prospects

After successful completion of Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics, I will have an overall development in my ability and attitude. Since my course will make me understand and learn about business analysis, information system, economics and financial analysis, operations management, contracting and procurement management practices. It will develop leadership, organizational, interpersonal, meeting and presentation skills, so this would not only help me to enhance my theoretical knowledge about different aspects of computer science and technology for data analysis but also to achieve and excel in my work. I strongly affirm that the knowledge & communication skills which I will acquire in this one year of my study in Canada will help me stand globally. Moreover, Canadian education is recognized in many countries around the world. My study in Canada would act as a platform and give a global boost to my career. After completing this course I can work as business analyst, business system analyst, project manager, informatics consultant, computer system analyst or management information systems (MIS) analyst.

Additionally, in future I would like to come back to my home country India as there are huge job prospects for techno – managerial professionals.

You have a PG diploma and this is also same level, I fear some trouble here. Try to explain why you are doing this course with more reasoning. Focus on Business Analytics and why in Canada. Why not in India also need to be mentioned.
Also mention one or two liners on financing of the study.
I would correct the first para. No need to mention your character.
I would loose the table, mention in 2 or 3 lines. SOP should be in one flow in my opinion. But wait for others to respond and collate all the suggestions.
I feel the entire SOP needs to be well put in terms of a story.

 

[Jagjit2019]

You have a PG diploma and this is also same level, I fear some trouble here. Try to explain why you are doing this course with more reasoning. Focus on Business Analytics and why in Canada. Why not in India also need to be mentioned.
Also mention one or two liners on financing of the study.
I would correct the first para. No need to mention your character.
I would loose the table, mention in 2 or 3 lines. SOP should be in one flow in my opinion. But wait for others to respond and collate all the suggestions.
I feel the entire SOP needs to be well put in terms of a story.

Thanks bro.

Just to clear that I have done a distance learning diploma alongside my work which is not exactly a regular diploma but now I am going for Certificate program and that too into Business Analytics which is a more in depth as compared to previous business administration studies.
On the other hand, I have availed an educational loan for my studies and everything and I am also attaching an affidavit from my brother that he has enough funds to support me, my studies and stay in Canada for entire one year.

 

[wonderbly]

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

Name: - Jagjit .........................
College: - Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology, Sudbury, Canada
Course Applied: - Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics
Introduction and Academic Background
I am Jagjit., a sincere, ambitious, dedicated and an honest person. I am a strong believer of myself and I always seek to develop new ideas by applying principles of existing theories. I believe that knowledge is an unending process and wish to associate myself with new venues of knowledge and learning. I have been brought up in a very loving and caring family, which has always encouraged me to pursue whatever I felt like doing. As far as my academics are concerned, I have successfully completed my Secondary and Senior Secondary in Commerce stream from Indian School Certificate Examination and later on I did Bachelor of Business Administration from University of Calcutta and Post Graduate Diploma in Business Administration (Distance Learning) from Symbiosis.
Professional Experience: Remove table. Rather write a few lines describing what you've learned and contributed over the years, not just listing your job titles and timelines.

Organization	Designation	Year (to and from)
XXXXXXX Aviation Limited	Agent- Security	12/2012 – 12/2013
XXXXXXX (Big 4 firm)	Senior Process Associate	01/2014 – 05/2019
XXXXXXX (US MNC)	Senior Accounting Associate	06/2019 – till date

While working along with these organizations I have learned and experienced many things but I wish to enhance my knowledge in a specialized field as it is the current demand of my job profile and that is the reason I have planned to study Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics from one of the best college of Canada that is Cambrian College of Applied Arts and Technology. Furthermore, to meet the entrance requirement for the college under SDS category I have also appeared for International English Language Proficiency Test and scored overall 7.5 bands (individual scores are: Listening – 8.5, Reading – 6.5, Writing – 7.5 and Speaking – 7.0).
Reason for Choosing This Course
After completing my bachelor’s, I was having sufficient knowledge related to my field and have also gained work experience of more than nine years but now I wish to upgrade an accredited professional qualification. That is why the reason after doing all the research work and discussing with my family and friends I have planned to opted for this course which is the Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics. As Through this course I will be getting the opportunity to enhance my knowledge related to database design and management, statistics and programming for business analytics, market research, data mining, data visualization, and decision‐making through analytics.
During this course I will be studying following subjects:

• Database Mgmt. & Warehousing
• Foundations of Data Analytics
• Statistics for Data Analytics
• Programming for Analytics
• Stats and Data Visualization
• GIS Mapping
• Connected Data

Moreover, “Cambrian College” is one of the very renowned brand names which have been providing quality education from many years. This course of mine would provide me an opportunity to extend my interests and knowledge in technical field.
Future Prospects
After successful completion of Post Graduate Certificate in Business Analytics, I will have an overall development in my ability. and attitude. Since my This course will make help me understand and learn about business analysis, information system, economics and financial analysis, operations management, contracting and procurement management practices. It will also help me develop leadership, organizational, interpersonal, meeting and presentation skills, so this would not only help me to enhance my theoretical knowledge about different aspects of computer science and technology for data analysis but also to achieve and excel in my work. I strongly affirm believe? that the knowledge & communication skills which I will acquire in this one year of my study in Canada will help me achieve my long-term career goals? stand globally. Moreover, Canadian education is recognized in many countries around the world. My study in Canada would act as a platform and give a global boost to my career. After completing this course I can work as business analyst, business system analyst, project manager, informatics consultant, computer system analyst or management information systems (MIS) analyst. - You need to be deliberate about stating what career opportunities await you in your home/resident country. Be specific about your end goal, mention specific companies/organisations you are targeting to work at and why.
Additionally, in future I would like to come back to my home country India as there are huge job prospects for techno – managerial professionals. - Again, be deliberate and SPECIFIC. No one decides to go and spend so much money to get an overseas education based on a whim. If there are HUGE job opportunities to come back to, mention where and why are targeting these particular organisations.

Good points raised by poster above me, In addition, I have edited your original post in the quote.
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Good luck.