Single father custody issue in China - No mother in birth certificate

[Sunway0008]

Hi, I’m a single father from China and my case is very unusual since there’s no mother on the birth certificate of my baby.

Background:
I was married to my wife in Mar.2020. But before that I had a one night stand with a girl, and I didn’t know the real name of the girl.
In Sep.2020, a baby emerged at the door of my department, with a birth certificate with my wife’s name and my name as parents. However, apparently my wife is not the real mother. I suspect maybe that night the girl took picture of my ID or marriage certificate so she knew our ID number.

My wife and I got divorced, and we have done DNA tests with the baby, showing that I’m the father and my wife is not the mother.

Now I‘m contacting the hospital which issued the birth certificate to correct the mother information. And the hospital will give me a new birth certificate with no mother information, since I can prove that the current mother on the certificate is not ture.

Sole custody issue:
Now I want to immigrate to Canada with my baby. The problem is, there’s no mother to sign the IMM 5604 form to agree to take the child to Canada.
I have also asked local lawyers whether is it possible got a court decree saying that I have the sole custodianship of my baby. The feedback is that there’s no such term as Sole Custody in China, so normally the court will say ‘XX is confirmed to be the custodian of XX’ instead of saying SOLE in the decree.

What should I do?

 

[Elliott18]

In China, if a child's birth certificate does not list a mother, it can be difficult for a single father to obtain custody. The father may need to provide additional evidence of his relationship with the child and prove that the child's best interests are served by being in his custody. Legal assistance may be needed to navigate the process.

 

[canuck78]

Hi, I’m a single father from China and my case is very unusual since there’s no mother on the birth certificate of my baby.

Background:
I was married to my wife in Mar.2020. But before that I had a one night stand with a girl, and I didn’t know the real name of the girl.
In Sep.2020, a baby emerged at the door of my department, with a birth certificate with my wife’s name and my name as parents. However, apparently my wife is not the real mother. I suspect maybe that night the girl took picture of my ID or marriage certificate so she knew our ID number.

My wife and I got divorced, and we have done DNA tests with the baby, showing that I’m the father and my wife is not the mother.

Now I‘m contacting the hospital which issued the birth certificate to correct the mother information. And the hospital will give me a new birth certificate with no mother information, since I can prove that the current mother on the certificate is not ture.

Sole custody issue:
Now I want to immigrate to Canada with my baby. The problem is, there’s no mother to sign the IMM 5604 form to agree to take the child to Canada.
I have also asked local lawyers whether is it possible got a court decree saying that I have the sole custodianship of my baby. The feedback is that there’s no such term as Sole Custody in China, so normally the court will say ‘XX is confirmed to be the custodian of XX’ instead of saying SOLE in the decree.

What should I do?

Are you aware that it is difficult to immigrate and live as a single parent. You will have to consider the high cost of living and childcare. Mother’s are usually on the birth certificate so this is quite the predicament. It is hard to know how Canada will react to the situation. Even to travel you usually need permission from the other parent. This is not common situation.

 

[steaky]

Are you aware that it is difficult to immigrate and live as a single parent. You will have to consider the high cost of living and childcare. Mother’s are usually on the birth certificate so this is quite the predicament. It is hard to know how Canada will react to the situation. Even to travel you usually need permission from the other parent. This is not common situation.

I know a lot of people who lives like a single parent (the breadwinner often lives outside Canada). Not saying it's not difficult but they all overcome the challenge. As for traveling, you don't usually being ask whether you have permission from the other parent.

 

[Sunway0008]

I know a lot of people who lives like a single parent (the breadwinner often lives outside Canada). Not saying it's not difficult but they all overcome the challenge. As for traveling, you don't usually being ask whether you have permission from the other parent.

Thank you for your information
I also assume that it won’t be a big issue for visitor visa if only one parent is travelling with the child. But what I mean is that I want to apply for Canada PR. One form that I need to get signed is the IMM 5604 from the non-accompanying parent of child. In my case, there’s no mother to sign it…

 

[canuck78]

I know a lot of people who lives like a single parent (the breadwinner often lives outside Canada). Not saying it's not difficult but they all overcome the challenge. As for traveling, you don't usually being ask whether you have permission from the other parent.

It is actually very common to be asked for permission to fly by the other especially when it is the father flying with the child. It is much more difficukt to immigrate as single parent versus being a single parent in Canada because you usually don’t have a support group already in Canada. Unless you are wealthy immigrating almost always is challenging especially in the first few years. If the child can’t be left alone by themselves it is even more difficult and comes with a difficult set of challenges and expenses.

 

[canuck78]

Thank you for your information
I also assume that it won’t be a big issue for visitor visa if only one parent is travelling with the child. But what I mean is that I want to apply for Canada PR. One form that I need to get signed is the IMM 5604 from the non-accompanying parent of child. In my case, there’s no mother to sign it…

This is a very unusual situation so it impossible for anyone to guess what will happen

 

[Xilikon]

Unusual indeed because it is either 2 scenarios : a parent is dead (which is my case with my wife's children and we just provide death certificate to justify) or there is a court order for sole custody and that judgement is the proof to send too). Maybe write an explanation letter and pray for the best ?

 

[steaky]

It is actually very common to be asked for permission to fly by the other especially when it is the father flying with the child. It is much more difficukt to immigrate as single parent versus being a single parent in Canada because you usually don’t have a support group already in Canada. Unless you are wealthy immigrating almost always is challenging especially in the first few years. If the child can’t be left alone by themselves it is even more difficult and comes with a difficult set of challenges and expenses.

No, it's not common to be asked for permission to fly by the other especially when it is the father flying with the child. Rich or poor, single parents can overcome challenges even if there are no support group.

 

[canuck78]

Unusual indeed because it is either 2 scenarios : a parent is dead (which is my case with my wife's children and we just provide death certificate to justify) or there is a court order for sole custody and that judgement is the proof to send too). Maybe write an explanation letter and pray for the best ?

Not sure where you got these 2 scenarios. Based on what OP said, it seems as the mother had no interest or was unable (for financial reasons or do to societal judgement and pressures) to parent a child that was the result of a sexual encounter outside of his marriage. Very common in China for men to visit places like brothels with friends and work colleagues. I assume this may be how the pregnancy occurred given that there were no names known but she was able to obtain a copy of his I. The biological mothers seems to have put the wife‘s name on the birth certificate hoping the wife and biological father would raise the child as there own. There is zero indication that the biological mother is dead. She would have had to provide the name of the biological father and the wife because they were both unaware of the pregnancy and birth.

 

[canuck78]

No, it's not common to be asked for permission to fly by the other especially when it is the father flying with the child. Rich or poor, single parents can overcome challenges even if there are no support group.

I didn’t say that it is impossible to be a single parent in Canada. Many single parents want to move out of their home country because they and their child face a lot of judgement for being a single parent household. Canada is more accepting of all forms of families but many are unaware of the costs that come with raising children in Canada. From abroad you see things like CCB, no school fees to attend public school, etc and it can appear that raising children in Canada will be easier, will be less expensive, the government provides a lot of support, etc. The reality is very different. Childcare is the biggest issue. The school day is shorter than a typical workday so you can need to get childcare before or after school which is often very expensive. If you have no family or friends all the childcare falls on your shoulders. Having to spend all your time with your child with no breaks is very difficult even for the most loving of parents. Single parents moving to Canada need to be aware about how challenging it will be to move to Canada especially if they aren’t wealthy and aren’t moving with a well paying job already secured. There will be less judgement from society as a single parent and a child with a single parent but there will be other challenges like not having a support network, high cost of living compared to many countries, general challenges of moving to a new country, etc. In this case given how the child came to be I would assume there may be quite a lot of judgement in the Chinese society and there would likely be a lot of judgement in Canada as well if the child’s story is discovered. I would assume that one of the reason the father is wanting to move is for a fresh start where people won’t know the family’s history. Don’t want the father thinking there isn’t judgement in Canadian society and be aware of all the challenges that come with being a parent and single parent in Canada.

 

[Xilikon]

Not sure where you got these 2 scenarios. Based on what OP said, it seems as the mother had no interest or was unable (for financial reasons or do to societal judgement and pressures) to parent a child that was the result of a sexual encounter outside of his marriage. Very common in China for men to visit places like brothels with friends and work colleagues. I assume this may be how the pregnancy occurred given that there were no names known but she was able to obtain a copy of his I. The biological mothers seems to have put the wife‘s name on the birth certificate hoping the wife and biological father would raise the child as there own. There is zero indication that the biological mother is dead. She would have had to provide the name of the biological father and the wife because they were both unaware of the pregnancy and birth.

I know that, that's why I agreed it is unusual. I just merely mentioned 2 more common scenarios for IRCC.

Your hypothesis is perfectly valid and it won't surprise me if that happens. The main question is that if the father cannot prove the biological mother is dead or alive and IRCC can't prove it either, what really happens in that case as it seems to fall into a grey area, especially if the family court in China is unwilling to intervene to regularize this.

In either case, I'm not sure it is the right stream because there is no mention of someone sponsoring the father of the child ?

 

[steaky]

In either case, I'm not sure it is the right stream because there is no mention of someone sponsoring the father of the child ?

You are right. Looks likr OP posted in the wrong forum.

 

[Sunway0008]

Not sure where you got these 2 scenarios. Based on what OP said, it seems as the mother had no interest or was unable (for financial reasons or do to societal judgement and pressures) to parent a child that was the result of a sexual encounter outside of his marriage. Very common in China for men to visit places like brothels with friends and work colleagues. I assume this may be how the pregnancy occurred given that there were no names known but she was able to obtain a copy of his I. The biological mothers seems to have put the wife‘s name on the birth certificate hoping the wife and biological father would raise the child as there own. There is zero indication that the biological mother is dead. She would have had to provide the name of the biological father and the wife because they were both unaware of the pregnancy and birth.

I’ve been acting like a detective recently trying to find the bio-mother. Fortunately I got some clues and found her on the social media. I’m glad to see that she seems to doing well, but I don’t how should I talk to her since she could easily ban me in the social media if she has no interest in the baby.

My best bet is to somehow compensate her and convince her to do a DNA test to prove that she’s the mother, and sign the IMM5604 form. However, I’m sure she wouldn’t update the birth certificate as the mother. It seems she’s still single and unmarried based on the posts on social media, and with her name on a birth certificate of a baby, her future marriage could be impacted. That’s why I‘m pretty sure that she won’t update the birth certificate as mother.

Would it be sufficient if I got the DNA test result from the bio-mother, a signed IMM5604 custody consent, while the Birth Certificate has no mother?

 

[armoured]

However, I’m sure she wouldn’t update the birth certificate as the mother. It seems she’s still single and unmarried based on the posts on social media, and with her name on a birth certificate of a baby, her future marriage could be impacted. That’s why I‘m pretty sure that she won’t update the birth certificate as mother.

Would it be sufficient if I got the DNA test result from the bio-mother, a signed IMM5604 custody consent, while the Birth Certificate has no mother?

I'm not an expert on this, but in parallel I'd consult with a lawyer who may be able to suggest something. I don't know what exactly - but eg a legal opinion stating that if there is no mother on the birth certificate, that you are by law the only parent, and any biological mother (if ever surfaces) would have no parental rights. And no bar on leaving the country with the child (as you are the only parent).

An opinion like this in context of the comments above (eg that a birth certificate without a mother is rare but occurs due to social pressures, or something like that).

That may not be better than the other options you're pursuing, but useful if those do not bear fruit.

I don't know what kind of lawyer would handle this. Probably someone who handles adoptions and perhaps has handled international adoptions.