Dear All Experts appreciated if you kindly review my SOP for Study Permit and advise what to remove and add for the good impression.
NOTE: My Study Permit has been refused just few days ago. I applied for my study permit and family to travel along with me. The two reasons were:
1- Purpose of visit
2- Length of proposed stay in Canada
To
The Visa officer,
Embassy of Canada My City, My Country
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this in connection to my recent offer of admission from Concordia University of Edmonton and my application for the study permit to complete my Graduate Diploma in My Course.
Based on my research and experience & advice shared by some of my sincere colleagues who have been to Australia, UK and Canada for their education I come to decision to look for the suitable program related to my professional career, I reached to the university mentioned above. Besides, advanced quality, affordability, secure and healthy environment and internationally recognized education what appealed me to study in Canada is its multicultural society, which I believe is very important factor in learning.
While many factors need to be taken into account during the consideration of graduate study at developed countries, one of the important factor is cost. The comparable cost of study for similar 1 year post graduate program at Murdoch University in Perth, Australia for international student is around AUD 20,000 whereas student at Concordia University requires to pay only CAD 13,000. Students intending to study at Canada requires to show up CAD 10,000 cost of living for one year, (as suggested on CIC’s website) comparable to Australia which requires AUD 18,000.
Further, a survey specially conducted by International Data Corporation (IDC) sponsored by renowned Mobile Operator xxxxxx_yyyyyy reveals 74% of the surveyed CIOs in My Country of Current Residence highlighted difficulty in sourcing skilled human capital for operating new/emerging technologies, this suggests that there is a considerable gap in the demand and supply of Information Technology Security skilled professionals, and I think is the right time to pursue a professional studies.
The prime goals behind my decision for the further studies is to broaden my knowledge and to hone professional skills in the field of Network & Information Security to fill the gaps which can only be covered through graduate program of this kind, rather than the industries’ short courses and certifications.
The chosen program will not only enhance my knowledge of the subject, puts a great qualification on resume to prove my commitment to the profession, provides me a competitive edge over the other candidates, both at Currect_Country_of_Residence as well as my country of citizenship but it will also serve as a basis for my prospective career opportunities of permanent nature with big organizations such as xxxx_xxxxx, yyyyy_yyyyyy, financial institutions and multinationals, which normally prefer and sometimes mandates that the candidates for certain positions must be educated from western/developed countries.
The intelligible chosen program would enable me to acquire the qualification of my choice in minimal time of 8 months and at the same time serve as a compelling factor to come back and meet financial responsibility of my family and elderly parents.
Keeping in view all the above factors, length of study, value this graduate program will be adding to my career and professional growth and my current financial strength I believe it is wise to invest at this stage, which neither will break the bank for me nor it will impact my family.
Decade of my life with my family, relatives and friends, a progressive success and steady career growth (can be seen in resume), comfortable and peaceful environment, good medical insurance facilities provided from employer, one month of ample annual vacation with pay, return family tickets to my home country makes me feel like Currect_Country_of_Residence is my second home, and are really compelling factors for me to return after completing my education.
NOTE: My Study Permit has been refused just few days ago. I applied for my study permit and family to travel along with me. The two reasons were:
1- Purpose of visit
2- Length of proposed stay in Canada
To
The Visa officer,
Embassy of Canada My City, My Country
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this in connection to my recent offer of admission from Concordia University of Edmonton and my application for the study permit to complete my Graduate Diploma in My Course.
Based on my research and experience & advice shared by some of my sincere colleagues who have been to Australia, UK and Canada for their education I come to decision to look for the suitable program related to my professional career, I reached to the university mentioned above. Besides, advanced quality, affordability, secure and healthy environment and internationally recognized education what appealed me to study in Canada is its multicultural society, which I believe is very important factor in learning.
While many factors need to be taken into account during the consideration of graduate study at developed countries, one of the important factor is cost. The comparable cost of study for similar 1 year post graduate program at Murdoch University in Perth, Australia for international student is around AUD 20,000 whereas student at Concordia University requires to pay only CAD 13,000. Students intending to study at Canada requires to show up CAD 10,000 cost of living for one year, (as suggested on CIC’s website) comparable to Australia which requires AUD 18,000.
Further, a survey specially conducted by International Data Corporation (IDC) sponsored by renowned Mobile Operator xxxxxx_yyyyyy reveals 74% of the surveyed CIOs in My Country of Current Residence highlighted difficulty in sourcing skilled human capital for operating new/emerging technologies, this suggests that there is a considerable gap in the demand and supply of Information Technology Security skilled professionals, and I think is the right time to pursue a professional studies.
The prime goals behind my decision for the further studies is to broaden my knowledge and to hone professional skills in the field of Network & Information Security to fill the gaps which can only be covered through graduate program of this kind, rather than the industries’ short courses and certifications.
The chosen program will not only enhance my knowledge of the subject, puts a great qualification on resume to prove my commitment to the profession, provides me a competitive edge over the other candidates, both at Currect_Country_of_Residence as well as my country of citizenship but it will also serve as a basis for my prospective career opportunities of permanent nature with big organizations such as xxxx_xxxxx, yyyyy_yyyyyy, financial institutions and multinationals, which normally prefer and sometimes mandates that the candidates for certain positions must be educated from western/developed countries.
The intelligible chosen program would enable me to acquire the qualification of my choice in minimal time of 8 months and at the same time serve as a compelling factor to come back and meet financial responsibility of my family and elderly parents.
Keeping in view all the above factors, length of study, value this graduate program will be adding to my career and professional growth and my current financial strength I believe it is wise to invest at this stage, which neither will break the bank for me nor it will impact my family.
Decade of my life with my family, relatives and friends, a progressive success and steady career growth (can be seen in resume), comfortable and peaceful environment, good medical insurance facilities provided from employer, one month of ample annual vacation with pay, return family tickets to my home country makes me feel like Currect_Country_of_Residence is my second home, and are really compelling factors for me to return after completing my education.