please i need help,i find my husband different from the man i marry ...

[amira041]

hi every one,
my husband is canadian ,and i come to canada in february2014,but i find difficulty with him he is not the same man i get marry befor,i have think to leave him ,but i think i will lost my statut ,because i know i have to stay with him 2years, i have receive my resident card and social number,but it.s not enough with the new law, he don't want me to work now and befor we decide that i will work,but he change and i feel like im in prison, only stay at home without doing nothing ,i feel like i lose my self,because i was not like that befor i marry him,i have freedom to work and study, please give me advice what should i do

 

[zardoz]

hi every one,
my husband is canadian ,and i come to canada in february2014,but i find difficulty with him he is not the same man i get marry befor,i have think to leave him ,but i think i will lost my statut ,because i know i have to stay with him 2years, i have receive my resident card and social number,but it.s not enough with the new law, he don't want me to work now and befor we decide that i will work,but he change and i feel like im in prison, only stay at home without doing nothing ,i feel like i lose my self,because i was not like that befor i marry him,i have freedom to work and study, please give me advice what should i do

If you don't want to stay with your husband, you can always return back to your home country. The fact that you are subject to "Condition 51" means that you really only have the two choices of 1) return or 2) try to make the marriage work. You have been in Canada for only a few weeks and CIC will not see a breakdown of the relationship very sympathetically.

 

[Hasher]

Hi Amira041,

I can understand your situation much better than many other in this Forum, as I am from same cultural background as you are:

I think Amira you know very well that the new Law is here so that immigration fraud can be stopped, and stop sponsored person to take advantage of Canadian Cultural freedom and dumped the sponsor as soon as one land in Canada. Why your husband don't want you work here can be many reasons, like cultural, religious, moral etc. when you came to Canada you were aware of your cultural back ground and now you want to take advantage of Canadian cultural freedom (I apologies if this not the case).

If you think otherwise, then as Zardoz suggested dump you husband and take return flight to Morocco, no body can stop you, then you can live as living before. My guess is you will not do that (may be I am wrong).

Please once again forgive me If I misinterpret the situation, but many spouse coming from Arab and Asian countries are doing this very frequently and over here in spite of all freedom such acts are hated here. This is one of the reason that this law introduced here. Time is gone when sponsored spouse land on Canadian Airport dumped the sponsor and run away, Saying Hurrah.

I am bitter on this topic as one of my relative cheated by his wife after landing staying for only three months, all of sudden she started hating her husband start liking his western colleague, her husband all of sudden become narrow minded, cheap, closed minded bala bala. She lived with him three years back home no problem but in three weeks she got fed up and declared him sick, not adjustable etc. She filed divorced and used the system.

I once again apologies if you are not the one who just want to miss use the system and take advantage of Canadian Immigration.

 

[keesio]

Hasher - OP said that both her and her husband agreed that she would work in Canada. But then the husband changed his mind once she landed. If this is true, then it is not a case of the applicant changing after arrival but the sponsor going back on his word. It is a martial dispute for sure and the OP may not have much options, but it is a bit different that someone becoming a different person once getting PR.

 

[Hasher]

Hasher - OP said that both her and her husband agreed that she would work in Canada. But then the husband changed his mind once she landed. If this is true, then it is not a case of the applicant changing after arrival but the sponsor going back on his word. It is a martial dispute for sure and the OP may not have much options, but it is a bit different that someone becoming a different person once getting PR.

My bad and I apologies to OP, If there was such agreement.

But the community I belongs to whole bunch of this game is going on or was going on. I feel very sad to say mostly women coming from Asian & Arab countries are doing this (please don't take me wrong that I am any way against Arab or Asian or against women). I know at least thre ee such cases, one happened to my close relative. The very easily cashed allegations are that Husband overnight become backward, criminal and narrow minded or women started spreading that husband thinking is of stone age, file divorce, spilt husband savings and leave the sponsored with tears.

Just to add men are not exceptional they are doing the same thing, women are more in number though.

On a separate note:

I understand this forum is to provide solutions not to complicate or Critic to OP.

Solution to OP problem is try to take your husband in confidence, he might have some reservation due to his Cultural values, faith and religious thought, that can be easily resolved by some counseling. He must understand in Canada he should be flexible, take him to nearest Church or Masjid to a priest born and raised in Canada, these priest are very sensible people and they are handling such cases on daily basis. Last of all, your husband is your partner not enemy so try meet half of his wishes and he should respect and meet your wishes to half way.

 

[Leon]

If you want to stay married, I think you will have to come to an agreement with your husband that you will either work or do something else such as take courses or volunteer somewhere.

If your marriage ends before you reach your 2 years as a PR, you risk losing your PR status.

 

[steaky]

hi every one,
my husband is canadian ,and i come to canada in february2014,but i find difficulty with him he is not the same man i get marry befor,i have think to leave him ,but i think i will lost my statut ,because i know i have to stay with him 2years, i have receive my resident card and social number,but it.s not enough with the new law, he don't want me to work now and befor we decide that i will work,but he change and i feel like im in prison, only stay at home without doing nothing ,i feel like i lose my self,because i was not like that befor i marry him,i have freedom to work and study, please give me advice what should i do

Because your husband don't want you to work, doesn't mean you need to stay at home all day. There are lots of activities for you to do. You can go shopping, hiking, fishing, cycling, traveling, etc.

Don't blame your husband. You made yourself to feel like you are in prison, which you certainly not.

 

[hobbes]

The conditional spousal PR provides exception for abuse:

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/backgrounders/2012/2012-10-26b.asp

You should contact CIC to find out if your situation can be classified as abuse.

 

[keesio]

The conditional spousal PR provides exception for abuse:

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/backgrounders/2012/2012-10-26b.asp

You should contact CIC to find out if your situation can be classified as abuse.

The abuse clause is tricky to prove if it is not physical. While there is emotional abuse, it needs to be prolonged and an argument over not being able to work is not enough.

 

[amira041]

thanks for everyone who reply to my post.
i know every marriage have difficulty in the beginning, and to let you know hasher ,we marry because we love each other ,and i was looking to stay with my husband all my life and we was planing to have kids, in my country he was good ,down to earth and my family they like him, but when i come here ,he become different ,and i don't change i still the same, before he tell me i can work and now he say no, you can't work with men, and i can't study with men, he is very religious Muslim,and im in the middle ,he have rules for everything,he complicate thing, for example i tell him today to don't wake me to pray a prayer in the morning6 AM, and he start to say i don't want a women she don't practice he religion, you are not muslim you are christian, so i tell him ,you don't love me, he say he love god more then me, so he will divorce me if i don't pray with him in the morning, he don't understand me, i want to wake up by myself, not by obligation.

 

[amira041]

i want work to help him because he is sick now and he don't work

 

[keesio]

CIC does looks suspiciously at couples with different religious backgrounds. Did they interview you about it? And did you discuss with your husband before getting married?

 

[zardoz]

Once again, "religion" rears it's ugly head... If you don't and can't subscribe to the same religious beliefs as him, it might be better to walk away. Taking on religious "duties" just to keep a husband is a long term recipe for disaster...
It's even worse if you have opposing strong beliefs of your own.

 

[amira041]

we have the same religion, but as i say he is more religious then me ,they ask me and i say we have the same religion so we will understand together..,i still love him but sometimes he make thing very difficult for me, it's the first time for me to get married so maybe marriage is like that in the beginning, but he get married 2time before me, i don't know i will try to make this marriage work..thanks for yours help

 

[keesio]

we have the same religion, but as i say he is more religious then me ,they ask me and i say we have the same religion so we will understand together..

I though you said that he is muslim and you are christian?