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Please evaluate the Essay

RAGHAVK

Star Member
Nov 10, 2018
80
15
Request someone to evaluate pls.

IN SOME AREAS OF US, A CURFEW IS IMPOSED, IN WHICH TEENAGERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE OUT OF DOORS AFTER A PARTICULAR TIME AT NIGHT UNLESS THEY ARE ACCOMPANIED BY AN ADULT. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

Restrictions are enforced in certain parts of US in which youth,especially teenagers are not allowed to exit their houses after specified time in the night unless an adult accompanies.In my opinion, I think,it is acceptable for short term to avoid any mishaps during turmoil however implementing it on long term is unfair.

A primary reason to oblige the restriction is to ensure safety of the young people. Alarmingly, in US, crime against youth are on raise so government should safeguard them by enforcing such laws. University student, for instance, was shot down in the night time when the despicable gunman tried to rob the youth. Secondly, this way, teenagers can also be protected from the bad influences like drugs which is prevailing in night clubs and has become a common cause of concern among US parents. So it is important that citizens co-operate with Government for this crusade against teenagers.

Nevertheless, on other hand, it is the responsibility of the Government to provide safe living environment for every citizen. It is difficult to follow the restriction for long time as their freedom is affected. My teenage nephew, for instance, does part time job to pay his university tuition fees. This law affects him from pursuing his studies. Therefore, it is the essential duty of bureaucrats to provide a safe living environment.

In conclusion, regulation of time limits for teenagers should only be a temporary measure to protect them and enforcing it forever would impact the career of youngsters so it should be avoided.
 

zardoz

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Request someone to evaluate pls.

IN SOME AREAS OF US, A CURFEW IS IMPOSED, IN WHICH TEENAGERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE OUT OF DOORS AFTER A PARTICULAR TIME AT NIGHT UNLESS THEY ARE ACCOMPANIED BY AN ADULT. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

Restrictions are enforced in certain parts of US in which youth,especially teenagers are not allowed to exit their houses after specified time in the night unless an adult accompanies.In my opinion, I think,it is acceptable for short term to avoid any mishaps during turmoil however implementing it on long term is unfair.

A primary reason to oblige the restriction is to ensure safety of the young people. Alarmingly, in US, crime against youth are on raise so government should safeguard them by enforcing such laws. University student, for instance, was shot down in the night time when the despicable gunman tried to rob the youth. Secondly, this way, teenagers can also be protected from the bad influences like drugs which is prevailing in night clubs and has become a common cause of concern among US parents. So it is important that citizens co-operate with Government for this crusade against teenagers.

Nevertheless, on other hand, it is the responsibility of the Government to provide safe living environment for every citizen. It is difficult to follow the restriction for long time as their freedom is affected. My teenage nephew, for instance, does part time job to pay his university tuition fees. This law affects him from pursuing his studies. Therefore, it is the essential duty of bureaucrats to provide a safe living environment.

In conclusion, regulation of time limits for teenagers should only be a temporary measure to protect them and enforcing it forever would impact the career of youngsters so it should be avoided.
I am not the "Grammar Police" but you appear to be dropping the "(in)definite article" from time to time. Also, missed spacing after punctuation is an issue. 6/10 maybe...
 

RAGHAVK

Star Member
Nov 10, 2018
80
15
I am not the "Grammar Police" but you appear to be dropping the "(in)definite article" from time to time. Also, missed spacing after punctuation is an issue. 6/10 maybe...
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