non accompanying dependant question

[saralune]

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[msgomez]

The mother of his daughter does not have to be involved. Only thing that would put a damper on things is if she refused or does not allow for her daughter to be examined. If his daughter were accompanying him to Canada then her mother would definitely have to sign authorization for this. Besides that, she has nothing to do.

I sponsored my husband who has a daughter as well and her mother was not involved. His daughter had the medical done and we included her in the application. I was approved as a sponsor and our paperwork is now being processed in Havana. The only thing the processing office requested is a copy of her birth certificate which we didn't include when we initally sent everything to Mississauga.

Our situation is alot like yours in the sense that there are no plans to have my husband's daughter join us but we wanted to leave that door open if ever, in the future, she decided she wanted to be with her Dad.

 

[Leon]

I don't see why the mother would have to be involved, but I can see she'd get royally pissed off if she found out. Is the daughter at a talking age and will she tell her mom that the grandparents took her to a doctor?

 

[Leon]

It's a good question. You have to take all possibilities into account.

You are not clear on who has custody of the kid. First you say she lives with the gramps, then you say she lives with them part of the time and with her mom for a part of it. If the gramps have custody, then can do whatever they want but if the mom has custody, she has the say over the kid. Taking somebody elses kid to a doctor (because it's not him doing it, it's his parents) is not like taking them to the park. If the mom finds out, she might get so furious she will do her damndest to make sure the gramps never see that kid again. That will not help his relationship with his child.

Of course there is also the possibility that she'll never find out.

How old is the kid and is she a chatterbox? If they still want to go behind the mom's back, it might be a good idea to fool the kid too. Make up a reason why she has to go to the doc. Then if she tells her mom about it, there will be an explanation other than "just because" or "for immigration to Canada"

 

[Leon]

Legally, who knows. If it's never been dealt with, the mom may have sole custody or they have joint custody.

 

[msgomez]

I agree with Leon... taking her to the doctor and not telling them is not like saying they were taking her to the park.

My personal opinion is that I wouldn't lie to the child's mother or keep this from her. If you kept that from her and she found out it could very well backfire and you could end up ticking her off so badly she'll ensure she makes things more difficult. Besides I beleive the medical involves bloodwork - if she shows up at home bruised and/or with her little band-aid on that could cause serious trouble. I'm trying to see things through her mother's eyes... if my ex-husband and his girlfriend or future wife went behind my back to take my child to the doctor, I'd be majorly ticked off. On top of that, the fact that she's 6 yrs old... wouldn't take much coaxing to get that info out of her... or she could slip-up. She's a child, it happens. I strongly suggest not keeping this from the mother.

The issue you now bring up is an ethical one; sure we can state our opinions but, in the end, you'll need to decide how to go about this. Explain to her mother that you have no intention of taking her daughter away from her but rather that CIC requires you to include her since she is your husband's dependant child and that if ever they needed to, if heaven forbid something were to happen, that they have that option.

Think this through and do what you feel in your heart is best.

 

[msgomez]

Something more on the whole custody issue - I think the grandparents would only be considered to have full custody if that were done so legally in a court of law. I don't know if they'd be considered full time guardians just because she spends more time at their house.