My Wife and her family mentally abuses me.

[Zeeshan.11]

Hey, I'm really disturbed. I landed in Canada at September 2015. Since then my wife and her family's behaviour with me is really negative.
They are mentally abusing me since I'm here. After every 2-3 days they keeps on bringing new issues with no point and gives me a lots of depression!!! That some times I wanna run away!

So, basically my Question is will I be removed from the Canada if I leave my wife ? Because I'm pretty sure my status is of conditional permanent resident right now. Because I came here in 2015 September and my application was processed after 25 October 2013.
But I do have a job here now! So please guide me

 

[Hasan9999]

Hey, I'm really disturbed. I landed in Canada at September 2015. Since then my wife and her family's behaviour with me is really negative.
They are mentally abusing me since I'm here. After every 2-3 days they keeps on bringing new issues with no point and gives me a lots of depression!!! That some times I wanna run away!

So, basically my Question is will I be removed from the Canada if I leave my wife ? Because I'm pretty sure my status is of conditional permanent resident right now. Because I came here in 2015 September and my application was processed after 25 October 2013.
But I do have a job here now! So please guide me

It seems that you have mutual understanding issue with your wife (and children from previous marriage?)! Conditional PR means you have to stay with your wife for a minimum two years as far as I remember and you are not allowed to avail social assistance from Govt. Unless you can prove with solid evidences that you are being seriously abused by your sponsor wife and her family, it will be really difficult on your part to convince CIC in your favour if something goes wrong with your PR. Gather as many evidences as possible and never ever allow your wife to collect evidence against you. My question to you if your wife didn't like you, why on earth she married you, brought you to Canada bearing with so much pains! Can't you some how improve the conjugal relationship? Hope you will find a good solution for you soon.

 

[Zeeshan.11]

It seems that you have mutual understanding issue with your wife (and children from previous marriage?)! Conditional PR means you have to stay with your wife for a minimum two years as far as I remember and you are not allowed to avail social assistance from Govt. Unless you can prove with solid evidences that you are being seriously abused by your sponsor wife and her family, it will be really difficult on your part to convince CIC in your favour if something goes wrong with your PR. Gather as many evidences as possible and never ever allow your wife to collect evidence against you. My question to you if your wife didn't like you, why on earth she married you, brought you to Canada bearing with so much pains! Can't you some how improve the conjugal relationship? Hope you will find a good solution for you soon.

I have no idea everything was good but I don't know they always tell me do that or don't do that and stuff! I mean I'm not there slave or anything. And no we don't have any child
Together and it's my first marriage

 

[karankullar]

Zeeshan, I am truly sorry for what you are going through. However, where I come from, they say you cannot clap with a single hand (translated to the best of my ability). What it means is that you gotta be playing some part in the problem. I hope your intentions of marrying her had nothing to do with getting Canadian Permanent Residence. If they were, I can assure you, you won't find much support here because people like that are the reason genuine cases get delayed and people have committed suicide because of these issues and I know for sure that majority of the people on this forum HATE fraudsters who cheat the system because it messes everything up for the genuine cases.

However, I apologize from the bottom of my heart if you are genuinely being tortured by your in-laws. In that case, I strongly suggest you try your best to find love in yourself for your in-laws and try to resolve the issues. After all, she is your wife. Also, if you are staying at your in-laws' place, get your own place and start a life there with your wife. I am fairly sure that would help the situation. Don't start worrying about the PR right away. That would put anybody in suspicion as to what your intentions were to marry her. You should be more worried about the deteriorating condition of your marriage and not if CIC will allow you to live in Canada. So, please take my advice, work on the relationship and see how things go.

 

[mikeymyke]

The abuse would have to be fairly serious in order for you to avoid breaking the conditional PR rule. Describe what they would do to you. There's a big difference between being "negative" and real emotional/mental abuse.

Also you should be collecting evidence like police reports, eyewitness accounts, etc. Because it would be hard to convince CIC that you're being abused by your spouse if you have no evidence and that you're suddenly being "abused" just a few months after landing.

 

[JamesinCanada]

I have no idea everything was good but I don't know they always tell me do that or don't do that and stuff! I mean I'm not there slave or anything. And no we don't have any child
Together and it's my first marriage

I'm going to be a little blunt here. This doesn't sound like abuse. This sounds like, if taken at face value, that they may be nagging you. Nagging is annoying but it is a problem that can be worked out. Also, sometimes a person can be on the receiving end of nagging for legitimate reasons.

I've been on the receiving end of abuse before and it is so much worse than nagging, or even being with an overbearing person. It makes you feel like you're crazy. It makes you want to just give up. When thinking about leaving, the first fear is your own death, not anything about immigration status.

Maybe you are not with the right wife for you, and maybe it took a long time to figure it out. That's fair and sometimes that happens. But if there's disagreements you should see a marriage counsellor. You should be doing everything you can to figure out a solution. Your first instinct shouldn't be to just ditch the marriage. Even if there are bad problems going on there, I'm telling you right now that even to a regular person this looks suspicious as hell. A real VO will probably be ten times as suspicious as myself.

If what you write is true and you are not scamming for PR, then please seek therapy and help. Whatever kind you think could work, religious, non-religious, whatever. It sounds like nagging and communication problems to me, and this is a problem that can be worked out so that you can restore your happiness in your marriage.

 

[SamHom]

To me this doesn't sound like abuse, it does sound more like the family (who they are most likely living with for free) are telling him to do chores, or to do the chores in a different way, not to leave messes etc etc and he just doesn't like it.

 

[mikeymyke]

We should give him the benefit of the doubt and see his full story. However, I don't like how most of the people who claim abuse on this forum, first thing they ask is how to keep their PR status (especially after only been in Canada for a short time), rather than asking where to go for marriage counselling, general relationship advice, or even where to go for divorce. It makes me wonder if their main intent was to immigrate to Canada rather than remain in the marriage.

 

[jhutti]

I have no idea everything was good but I don't know they always tell me do that or don't do that and stuff! I mean I'm not there slave or anything. And no we don't have any child
Together and it's my first marriage

This does not appear abuse. In canada everyone have to share responsibility of doing day to day chores. U appear to be living freely in ur in laws home. Since u have job. Move out and rent place with ur wife. Also seek marriage councel help. Ur first instance is to leave marriage. This is arrogance.

 

[canadausa#11]

I'm sorry but on the surface this is why VO are so suspicious and why our applications can take so lengthy times to process. 2-3 months after arriving in Canada you want to end the marriage because of nagging or complaining but of course your first concern is how you can stay in Canada, rather than ending a marriage you are supposedly unhappy in and returning to your country. I'm glad that conditional PR exists and I hope they don't get rid of it.

 

[Snowisland]

Please give specific examples of the abuse so we can better give you guidance.

 

[ayrazar]

Doesn't the application to sponsor form address this? I remember reading sthng about what to do if your sponsor puts you in an abusive situation. I can't remember the number of the form atm. Not at a pc.