My canadian wife cheated on me and called CIC we separated

[Marc2016]

Hello Everyone

I would like to share my story with you guys as I am very depressed and dont know what to do.

In 2014 I got married to canadian citizen. Our marriage was 120% genuine but she was still studing and I was working hard and we did not apply for sponsorship on time. One day CBSA caught me at work while driving. I have been sent to Holding Centre. We hired a lawyer but we lost everything anyway and I had to leave Canada. We applied later on. My wife visited me in Europe 3 times. After 16 months being away I finally came back to Canada with Conditional Permanent resident status.

In a meantime my wife was cheating on me with her personal trainer from La fitnes in Burlington. Also she got into(met) very bad friends from a bar where most of these people are distributing and taking cocaine and drinking so much alcohol. My wife has a problem with alcohol(her father is an alcoholic and had a liver transplatation thats why her mother sepreated from him). She was coming home in the middle of night completly drunk and I was going through depression (still actualy going).I could not handle her new freinds and her addiction to alcohol. One night she got so drunk that me and her mother in law had to go to her friends house to pick her up. After that night my wife told me to move out.

Three weeks later I have been forced to move out because that was her mother house.My wife moved out first to her drug addict friends from the bar and I live with her mother for another 3 weeks till I found something for my own. In a mean time I went to immigration consultant and familly lawyer for an advice. My wife before I left house asked me to pay her money(like her best friend did) so she wont call CIC that we sepreated. I said to her no way because our marriage was always genuine and our familly and friends knew that we loved each other. I even deposit 3000$ for a banquet hall. We supposed to get married in a church (wedding for 200 people). Of course never got that money back.

In a meantime I had a serious accident at work. Because I had too many problems at home with my wife I could not concentrate at work at all. I was taking an antidepressants. And one day Machine sliced my fingers to the bones so I can not bend my fingers now. My surgeon said this is permanent damaged and not much we can do about it.

But anyways after I moved out she called immigration dept and said that we seprated. I have received a letter from cic that I have 45 days to give an answer. I hired a lawyer one more time he got extra 45 days and we are trying to prove that my wife was abusing me and I could not handle her addiction to alcohol.

I know I have little chances to win:-( Lawyer just taking a money all the time and I can not sleep and co not concentrate at work still taking pills. Men in canada have little chanes to win cases like mine.
what a stupid law I hate this country already and have enough of the troubles realated with immigration dept. Seriously ! Till june 1st we have time to answet but so far everything is going wrong.

My wife filed for divorced and lied in application that we never reunited after I had to live vanada in 2014. In that case she will get divorce within few months.

I have been waiting so long for my wife 16 months beaing apart and I come and Ka boom !!! Wife is cheating on me, drinking alcohol every other day, asking me for the money 15 000 $ and at the end kicking me out and calling immigration which will result in losing my permanet resident status.

 

[axelfoley]

Hey, sorry to hear your story, sounds like you've been through a really tough time.

When did you get married to your wife? You are currently separated, but not yet divorced?

Do you have proof that your wife has lied in her divorce filing by being able to show that she lied in her divorce filing "that you never reunited"?

Can I ask if you if you feel that you were blackmailed for money by your wife when she asked you for money so she would not call CIC and pretend that you were separate when you could show that in fact you were not? How did you give her money, was it always cash or also cheque? Can you show you withdrew large amounts of cash at those times from your bank? Do you have independent evidence of your wife abusing alcohol, and how about any cocaine abuse?

Have a look at this guidance from CIC: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/publications/family-sponsorship.asp

"Your rights
Upon receiving conditional permanent residence, you have all the rights and privileges of a permanent resident:

You are allowed to work or study in Canada without a work or study permit.
You have access to health coverage and social services.
You are allowed to leave and re-enter Canada.
If you are a victim of abuse or neglect, you do not have to remain in an abusive situation. It does not matter whether the conditional permanent residence measure applies to you. In Canada, abuse is not tolerated. All physical and sexual abuse is a crime. All child abuse must be reported.

What is abuse or neglect?
Abuse is behaviour used to intimidate, isolate, dominate or control another person. It may be a pattern or a single incident. Abuse might involve acts, words or even neglect.

The abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological or financial.

As a victim you may experience more than one type of abuse.
Usually the abuser is a spouse, former spouse, partner or former partner. Sometimes, it can be a member of your spouse’s or partner’s family.
The abuser may be male or female.
Physical abuse is physical contact intended to intimidate or cause pain, injury, other physical suffering or bodily harm or forcible confinement. Among others, examples include being hit, beaten, slapped, punched, and pushed or shoved resulting in injury or that could result in injury.

Sexual abuse includes force or threat used in any situation, against the victim’s will, resulting in unwanted sexual touching or sexual activity.

Psychological abuse might include force or control not limited to insults, intimidation, humiliation, harassment or threats, name-calling, yelling, blaming, disrespecting, criticizing, or threatening to take away or hurt a victim’s children.

Financial abuse is where one partner has control over the other partner’s access to economic resources. Some examples include taking the victim’s cheque or money and withholding money, so that the victim cannot pay for things they or their children need, such as food, shelter or medical treatment.

Neglect is failure to provide the necessaries of life, such as food, clothing, medical care or shelter, or any other omission which results in a risk of serious harm.

Being abused or neglected by your sponsor or their family?
You do not have to stay in the relationship to keep your status in Canada if you are being abused or neglected.

If you are affected by the conditional permanent residence measure, you can request an exception.

If you are not affected by the conditional permanent residence measure, you should remember that in Canada, abuse is not tolerated. You do not have to remain in an abusive situation. This brochure provides information you can use to get help.

Requesting an exception
If you have received conditional permanent residence status, you can request an exception from the condition at any time during the two-year conditional period. You can do so by calling the CIC Call Centre at 1-888-242-2100. Any information you provide will be kept confidential.

Thinking about coming forward?

You might feel very alone in Canada.
Your abuser might have lied to you about your status in Canada.
You might find it difficult to talk to people or fear for the safety of your children.
You might find it hard to communicate in English or French.
You might be confused about your rights under Canadian law."

Also have a look at Operational Manual 480 section 3.4 at http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp#sec03.4

"3.4 Exception for abuse or neglect

The condition ceases to apply if a CIC officer determines, based on all available evidence, that the sponsored spouse or partner is or was unable to meet the condition because one of the following situations occurs:

the sponsored person, a child of the sponsored person and/or of the sponsor, or a person who is related to the sponsored person or the sponsor and who is habitually residing in their household, was subjected by the sponsor to any abuse or neglect referred to in subsection 72.1(7) of the Regulations, or
the sponsor has failed to provide protection from abuse or neglect by another person who is related to the sponsor, whether that person is residing in the household or not; and
the sponsored spouse or partner has cohabited in a conjugal relationship with the sponsor until the cohabitation ceased as a result of the abuse or neglect.

3.4.1 Assessing evidence of abuse or neglect
Abuse may take many different forms: physical abuse, including assault and forcible confinement; sexual abuse, including sexual contact without consent; psychological abuse, including threats and intimidation; or financial abuse, including fraud and extortion; and neglect consisting of the failure to provide the necessaries of life, such as food, clothing, medical care, shelter, and any other omission that results in a risk of serious harm. Coercion into forced marriage (when one or both people do not consent to the marriage) is also a form of abuse and, therefore, a sponsored spouse or partner who is a victim of a forced marriage can request an exception to the condition. Victims may experience more than one form of abuse, as set out in the Regulations, subsection 72.1(7). See Appendix C – Types of abuse and Appendix D–Abuse or neglect considerations.

A forced marriage takes place when one or both people do not consent to the marriage. Unlike arranged marriages which take place with the consent of both parties, in forced marriages, individuals are coerced to marry, usually by family members, through threats, physical violence, or emotional manipulation. A forced marriage can happen to individuals of any culture, class, religion, and area of the world, including in Canada and to Canadian citizens or permanent residents travelling or living abroad. It can happen to both men and women of all ages. When a person has made a claim of forced marriage and seeks to request an exception to the conditional permanent residence, officers should ensure that care is taken to ensure any communication with the permanent resident is confidential and not accessible by anyone else.

a) Weighing evidence of abuse or neglect

Evidence must clearly show the abuse or neglect was the reason for the breakdown of the marriage.
The evidence provided may relate to one or a number of incidents and may be used to build a case history, in order to make as thorough a decision as possible, as to whether the abuse or neglect occurred. All decisions based on such evidence must be thoroughly explained. However, officers should keep in mind that some evidence may be difficult for a victim of abuse or neglect to acquire.
Applicants should provide as much evidence as possible to satisfy a CIC officer they were the victim of abuse or neglect.
Officers can assess the credibility of the information provided. The exception to the condition applies if the CIC officer is satisfied that there is evidence of abuse. Application of the exception does not depend on the severity of the abuse experienced by the victim.

b) Potential victims or perpetrators for the purposes of the exception for abuse or neglect

Potential victims:

the sponsored spouse or partner;
a child of the sponsor and the sponsored spouse or partner;
a child of the sponsored spouse or partner;
a child of the sponsor;
a person related to either the sponsor or the sponsored spouse or partner who was habitually residing in their household, which may include:
a parent or grandparent,
a child or grandchild,
a sibling,
a niece or nephew,
an aunt or uncle, and
a cousin."

 

[Marc2016]

I never paid her any money. My wife has over 30 000$ debt thats why she asked me for the money but I refused stright away.
my wife hired a proces server to serve me divorce papers. And in those documents she says that after I left canada in 2014 I never came back to canada which is a lie !.

Every time she was coming drunk we had a quarrel. I told her when we have a baby will you be doing the same things ? How can I proof she has addiction to alcohol. She never went for the therapy and never took any medications. She was too smart for that. The only thing I can proof is that when she came for my nephew birtday party ( he was 5 that time ) she got drunk and when the party was over she drove home. And my sister neighbours seen it.

Another time when she got completly drunk and I have witnesses was New Years Eve 2015/16. She was that drunk that she could not hold her glass of alcohol. Later on she was puking to the toilet and her mother dragged her to bed.

Cocaine I have seen it myself whe we went the her bar friends house for a party. They were sniffing cocaine from the countertop. But how can I proove it.

I have a sister here she is canadian citizen and she saw her drunk at the birthday party and New Year Eve. She knows everything about. Because when my wife was coming back drunk I had to leave a house so I was sleeping in my sister house.

 

[Leon]

Unfortunately, the conditional permanent residence doesn't take into account if the relationship was genuine if you broke up before the 2 years were up. The way they see it is that with 2 years, you have not grown roots in Canada and so you can go back home.

You can say she was drinking and abusing you verbally and emotionally. If you have a psychiatrist or a therapist who can testify that you were there and this is the cause of your depression, that might help. You can say that still you tried to make it work but it was she who asked you to leave. I suppose that can be considered abandonment as well. You can try it but it's your word against hers.

I am sure there are people who can testify that you were living together so she will be caught in a lie which will help your case.

 

[axelfoley]

Leon: "I am sure there are people who can testify that you were living together so she will be caught in a lie which will help your case."

Further to Leon's excellent advice, may I take the opportunity to add that you could spend a little time to collate information that may support your side of the story.

Assuming you have the divorce papers: if there are statements she has made in there that you can prove are false (e.g. she says you did not live together after a certain date) then you should start compiling the information that confirms your side of the story for CIC. Write down the statements she has made in her divorce papers that you know are false (e.g. in relation to when you separated) and then try to compile information from various sources to demonstrate your side of the story.

For example, your cell phone telephone call record, your SMS, email, WhatsApp, or Viber messages. For example, if she is "sweet talking" with you on email/WhatsApp/SMS or referring to intimate things in the period that she claims you were separated for example. Perhaps you can download the WhatsApp and Viber messages to a computer when you back it up? Worst case if you can't download the messages, you could go back through all the messages in the period that she says that you were separated and and write down the ones that prove otherwise with the date and timestamp. Also maybe photographs or Facebook updates that show you are both together in the period she claims you had already separated.

The contradiction in her divorce papers compared to the reality of your evidence could help support your case that she is unreliable or has lied about when in fact you were together and when you separated and could support your position.

 

[Marc2016]

I have our facebook conversations where she says that I am sorry that I cheated on you I feel guilty ...
I have printed out text messages where she says you need to move out ashole...
Sworn statments from a marriage couple and one single person that she was drunk at new years eve and my nephew BD party so drunk and she drove home while intoxicated.
I have letter only from a familly doctor ( had no money for specialist- I could not find a job for 4 weeks ) stating my depression.

I have 30 pictures since I came to Canada showing me and my wife kissing and hanging out with our friends and familly. I have a lot of proofs of same address. So CIC can't deny that our marriage was not genuine.

 

[Leon]

I have our facebook conversations where she says that I am sorry that I cheated on you I feel guilty ...
I have printed out text messages where she says you need to move out ashole...
Sworn statments from a marriage couple and one single person that she was drunk at new years eve and my nephew BD party so drunk and she drove home while intoxicated.
I have letter only from a familly doctor ( had no money for specialist- I could not find a job for 4 weeks ) stating my depression.

I have 30 pictures since I came to Canada showing me and my wife kissing and hanging out with our friends and familly. I have a lot of proofs of same address. So CIC can't deny that our marriage was not genuine.

Like I said, it doesn't matter if it was genuine. Fact is you didn't stay together 2 years after you got your PR and so your only chance in this is if you can prove abuse or abandonment on her side.

 

[Marc2016]

I understand
Thank you for your answers

What removal order will I get If my status will be revoked ?

 

[Leon]

I understand
Thank you for your answers

What removal order will I get If my status will be revoked ?

It might actually take a long time for immigration to revoke your PR. Having heard from your wife, they will probably call you in for an interview and hear your side of it. If they revoke your PR, they will not deport you right away. They will ask you to leave on your own first but if you don't, they will attempt to deport you.

 

[Marc2016]

I'm assuming I will get this one...

Departure Orders
A departure order means that you are given a specified date, and must leave Canada within thirty days of this date.

I know we can not say when exactly that will happen but... If I have to answer to CIC till 1st of June 2016 and I guess they will respond quickly within max 2 weeks
what will happen then

 

[Leon]

You need to be talking to your lawyer about this. I don't know if you can still appeal against a departure order. You probably can but if a departure order has been issued and you have not managed to appeal against it, it normally turns into a deportation order after 30 days. If you leave before it becomes a deportation and you register by the border as you leave to make sure they have it on record, then you will not have any problem with immigration in the future. If you let yourself be deported, you will be banned from Canada for some time and even after that it will be hard for you to get a visa to visit.

 

[Marc2016]

Thanks to Good I won my Case
Good bless You I am so happy now. I can finally sleep and wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
This Nightmare is over !

My cheating and alcoholic wife lost. I don't have to cohabit in a conjugal relationship with her anymore. I am no longer a subject to the condition !!!
There are some righteous people out there in Immigration Dept.
I am still trying to process what happened I still cant believe it, seriously !

Nobody was giving me any chances to win. I was ready to pack up my stuff and leave Canada.
Now I am starting a new life a found very well paid job and everything is going to seem be all right.

Whoever was processing my case at the Immigration Dept was very understanding and fair Good bless You !!! I am wishing You all the best in Your Life straight from my Heart !

 

[Rigly68]

Congratulations Marc2016. it is awesome to see the positive outcome of this situation and thumbs up to you for not giving up!

 

[scylla]

Thanks to Good I won my Case
Good bless You I am so happy now. I can finally sleep and wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
This Nightmare is over !

My cheating and alcoholic wife lost. I don't have to cohabit in a conjugal relationship with her anymore. I am no longer a subject to the condition !!!
There are some righteous people out there in Immigration Dept.
I am still trying to process what happened I still cant believe it, seriously !

Nobody was giving me any chances to win. I was ready to pack up my stuff and leave Canada.
Now I am starting a new life a found very well paid job and everything is going to seem be all right.

Whoever was processing my case at the Immigration Dept was very understanding and fair Good bless You !!! I am wishing You all the best in Your Life straight from my Heart !

Congratulations - that's great news.

 

[Leon]

Congratulations Marc. Always good to see a happy end