- May 14, 2012
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I am preparing for IELTS General. Can you please evaluate the following essay and provide me your valuable feedback? I would like to know
- Improvement areas
- Probable band score
Task:
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.
Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
My Essay:
"In my opinion Newspapers and magazines have succeeded in reaching out to individuals with information. People depend on these channels to get up to date information on events at local, national and international level. In addition to the information on events, this media brings private life of celebrities to public which I feel very inappropriate.
Firstly, It is their private life that is being revealed and most of the people do not like their personal matters to be discussed by public. Unfortunately, famous people's day to day life is no more private with media involvement. Competition between media companies made things worse. Journalists started chasing famous people to capture rare information or pictures which made almost impossible for them to come into public. These media personnel went further to target celebrities' vacation and even bed rooms which is very unfortunate.
Secondly, A lot of this people based information is useless information to general public. It is these new papers and magazines that makes such invaluable information as Valuable. I don't care where a film actor shop his clothes and I don't want to know where he spent his vacation. This is really irrelevant
information to me. We also see lot of stories on their relationships which is again irrelevant It is very unfortunate that a lot of human effort is getting wasted in collecting this kind of information.
In conclusion, It is inappropriate for New papers and Magazines to publish information on private life of famous people. They should rather pay more attention to useful information which contributes for building better society. Being a fourth estate they should be more responsible in their coverage and stories."
Thanks,
Suraj
- Improvement areas
- Probable band score
Task:
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.
Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
My Essay:
"In my opinion Newspapers and magazines have succeeded in reaching out to individuals with information. People depend on these channels to get up to date information on events at local, national and international level. In addition to the information on events, this media brings private life of celebrities to public which I feel very inappropriate.
Firstly, It is their private life that is being revealed and most of the people do not like their personal matters to be discussed by public. Unfortunately, famous people's day to day life is no more private with media involvement. Competition between media companies made things worse. Journalists started chasing famous people to capture rare information or pictures which made almost impossible for them to come into public. These media personnel went further to target celebrities' vacation and even bed rooms which is very unfortunate.
Secondly, A lot of this people based information is useless information to general public. It is these new papers and magazines that makes such invaluable information as Valuable. I don't care where a film actor shop his clothes and I don't want to know where he spent his vacation. This is really irrelevant
information to me. We also see lot of stories on their relationships which is again irrelevant It is very unfortunate that a lot of human effort is getting wasted in collecting this kind of information.
In conclusion, It is inappropriate for New papers and Magazines to publish information on private life of famous people. They should rather pay more attention to useful information which contributes for building better society. Being a fourth estate they should be more responsible in their coverage and stories."
Thanks,
Suraj