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I NEED ADVISE...PLS HELP ME... HUSBAND PROBLEM

midniteblue

Newbie
Feb 6, 2015
4
0
Hi... I am married for almost going five years, to be exact got married on March 20,1010. I was working in the Middle East as a Nurse.
I was the one who supported my husband, he was just a happy go lucky person, never gets interested in looking for a job. Though he was like this I tried to be more understanding because I loved him, up to now we dont have kids, I had miscarriages twice. (2010, recently after christmas of 2014).. I shared my dream to come to Canada to him too. I started to apply for FSW skilled worker category Nurse, my application started sometime May of 2010, after 32 months of processing, we finally got our Immigrant Visa by November of 2012.

We migrated to Canada, our first entry was April 3,2013, at that time when we approach immigation officers they asked questions if we have dependents, or children left behind and he said NO and signed his copy of COPR (Copy of Permanent Residence) in front of the officers.... He was different from the guy I used to know....he changed a lot a made my life hard... but I still keep on to my marraige coz
I dont want to end up broken, mostly he's bad ( he doesnt get violent physically but he just keep saying hurting words) sometimes he's
good... When I got pregnant a few months back, he was not even excited...he didn't show any care.... until I miscarried after christmas, I just thought of maybe it was God's plan. Just this endwk of January, I used to know his facebook account and password, and checked his messages, but recently he was sending messages to another person, at first i didnt mind about it, until after along the messages has different meaning, so I tried to investigate and saw photos, there was photos of a girl and a woman, she uploaded 3 thousand photos mostly the kid and it was just set in one location it was taken mostly at my in laws house... the woman and that 3 yr old girl are staying with my in laws....then i started to get mad coz i wanted to know who are these people...and they dont want to tell me the truth.... Until they all got cornered and my mother in law told the truth that it was my husbands child... I was shocked and deeply heart broken, coz all along they fooled me after all the good things Ive done to them.... for years (everything I have I ve shared with them, because
I consider them my family too.... He cheated on me just a year after our marriage.... then why did that woman and the kid not asked my husband responsibilty before he came with me here, if I had known I should not have continued to bring him here.

Im so confused ....What can I do... to get justice for his cheating and fooling me...can I asked CIC to deport him , for lying and using me to come here, to have a job and support his mistress and illegitimate child... Whats the chances of getting that child come here... I wanted to file Concubinage or Adultery in my country and want them both go to jail..... Pls help me
 

scylla

VIP Member
Jun 8, 2010
95,655
21,986
Toronto
Category........
Visa Office......
Buffalo
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
28-05-2010
AOR Received.
19-08-2010
File Transfer...
28-06-2010
Passport Req..
01-10-2010
VISA ISSUED...
05-10-2010
LANDED..........
05-10-2010
There isn't much you can do.

It's extremely unlikely CIC will deport him. In order for this to be possible you would have to provide hard evidence (e.g. birth certificate, DNA test) that the child is his and that he failed to declare the child before you landed. And even if you provide this evidence, there's still no guarantee he will be deported from Canada and I think it's likely CIC would let him stay.

If you try to get him deported this could also put your own PR status in danger since both of you were part of the same application where the child was not declared. So in my opinion it would be very unwise of you to report this to CIC if you want to keep your own PR status.

The best thing you can do is forget about your husband and move on with your life.

He will never be able to sponsor the child to Canada because he failed to declare the child when he immigrated.
 

Leon

VIP Member
Jun 13, 2008
21,950
1,321
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
What scylla said. Just divorce him and forget about him. Why should you support that deadbeat? Let him pay his own way. He can never sponsor the child like scylla said because he did not declare her on his application.
 

SMCANADAVISA

Hero Member
Oct 21, 2014
234
8
midniteblue said:
Hi... I am married for almost going five years, to be exact got married on March 20,1010. I was working in the Middle East as a Nurse.
I was the one who supported my husband, he was just a happy go lucky person, never gets interested in looking for a job. Though he was like this I tried to be more understanding because I loved him, up to now we dont have kids, I had miscarriages twice. (2010, recently after christmas of 2014).. I shared my dream to come to Canada to him too. I started to apply for FSW skilled worker category Nurse, my application started sometime May of 2010, after 32 months of processing, we finally got our Immigrant Visa by November of 2012.

We migrated to Canada, our first entry was April 3,2013, at that time when we approach immigation officers they asked questions if we have dependents, or children left behind and he said NO and signed his copy of COPR (Copy of Permanent Residence) in front of the officers.... He was different from the guy I used to know....he changed a lot a made my life hard... but I still keep on to my marraige coz
I dont want to end up broken, mostly he's bad ( he doesnt get violent physically but he just keep saying hurting words) sometimes he's
good... When I got pregnant a few months back, he was not even excited...he didn't show any care.... until I miscarried after christmas, I just thought of maybe it was God's plan. Just this endwk of January, I used to know his facebook account and password, and checked his messages, but recently he was sending messages to another person, at first i didnt mind about it, until after along the messages has different meaning, so I tried to investigate and saw photos, there was photos of a girl and a woman, she uploaded 3 thousand photos mostly the kid and it was just set in one location it was taken mostly at my in laws house... the woman and that 3 yr old girl are staying with my in laws....then i started to get mad coz i wanted to know who are these people...and they dont want to tell me the truth.... Until they all got cornered and my mother in law told the truth that it was my husbands child... I was shocked and deeply heart broken, coz all along they fooled me after all the good things Ive done to them.... for years (everything I have I ve shared with them, because
I consider them my family too.... He cheated on me just a year after our marriage.... then why did that woman and the kid not asked my husband responsibilty before he came with me here, if I had known I should not have continued to bring him here.

Im so confused ....What can I do... to get justice for his cheating and fooling me...can I asked CIC to deport him , for lying and using me to come here, to have a job and support his mistress and illegitimate child... Whats the chances of getting that child come here... I wanted to file Concubinage or Adultery in my country and want them both go to jail..... Pls help me
@midnightblue : couple of things I felt like suggesting reading your case :

1. Hopefully you are not living under same roof any more. If that's the case you have the reason as how your husband cheated you. Your case is not of simple adultery cheating, but far beyond that. Actually I know cases like this where the court decree says annulment of marriage and not divorce. You might try for that in the family court.
2. You can report to CIC that your husband's signature on COPR denying having any children is a misrepresentation of fact. But do this only after getting a divorce/annulment from him. I do not think that if you describe your case ofcourse with substantial proof like facebook pictures of the other wife and daughter and that they are living in your in-laws house etc CIC will doubt your PR status. He rather has a chance to get deported on the ground of misrepresentation of fact.
I totally understand your frustration. Best of luck !
 

Bryanna

VIP Member
Sep 8, 2014
14,136
3,122
@ scylla, Leon and SMCANADAVISA: Your advice makes perfect sense

Just wondering (a hypothetical case):
Suppose the OP's husband is married to the other woman (not common-in-law relationship).... the second marriage happened after he married the OP.... if she is able to prove that the other marriage is still subsisting.... and reports this to CIC, would that still put her PR at risk.... or would it become a case of misrepresentation and cheating?

Or another hypothetical case:
If the husband is a Canadian resident.... in a common-law relationship, including he has a child from it.... all of them are living together in Canada.... and he then marries another woman from outside Canada?
 

Alurra71

VIP Member
Oct 5, 2012
3,238
309
Ontario
Visa Office......
Vegreville
App. Filed.......
07-12-2012
AOR Received.
21-01-2013
Interview........
waived
VISA ISSUED...
28-11-2013
LANDED..........
19-12-2013
Bryanna said:
@ scylla, Leon and SMCANADAVISA: Your advice makes perfect sense

Just wondering (a hypothetical case):
Suppose the OP's husband is married to the other woman (not common-in-law relationship).... the second marriage happened after he married the OP.... if she is able to prove that the other marriage is still subsisting.... and reports this to CIC, would that still put her PR at risk.... or would it become a case of misrepresentation and cheating?

Or another hypothetical case:
If the husband is a Canadian resident.... in a common-law relationship, including he has a child from it.... all of them are living together in Canada.... and he then marries another woman from outside Canada?
Canada only recognizes the first marriage. Without a decree of divorce, Canada would not recognize a marriage to the second woman, even if it is allowed in the OP's home country.

For your second query, if a Canadian resident were in a common law marriage relationship and then married someone outside of the country and tried to sponsor that person to come to Canada he would need to prove the termination times for his previous common law relationship. If he could not prove termination of that relationship happened before marriage to another Canada would likely find that his 'legal' marriage outside of Canada is not legal in Canada since he was already in a common law marriage.

While common law does not necessarily require a divorce decree it would be very important to have documentation of when a previous common law relationship dissolved.
 

Bryanna

VIP Member
Sep 8, 2014
14,136
3,122
Thanks so much Alurra71 for explaining the legalities for both situations. +1 for you :)

Though it's not a recent matter, I heard of case where a Canadian resident was in a common-law relationship with another Canadian resident.... he had fathered a son.... all of them were living together quite happily.... so basically, nothing wrong with this situation

What was legally and conscientiously wrong was.... he then went on to marry his wife (not common-law) outside Canada..... he admitted to her many months after the marriage that he had fathered a son/was living in a common-law relationship, etc

He then began negotiating (yes, that's the correct word) with some other women to sponsor any of those other women on his Canadian passport as his ""wife"" for monetary compensation.... basically, whoever paid the highest amount for spousal PR.... wondering how he could mistakenly think that he could pull this off especially with such stringent immigration rules.


Anyways
 

eileenf

Champion Member
Apr 25, 2013
1,003
95
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
midniteblue said:
Hi... I am married for almost going five years, to be exact got married on March 20,1010. I was working in the Middle East as a Nurse.
I was the one who supported my husband, he was just a happy go lucky person, never gets interested in looking for a job. Though he was like this I tried to be more understanding because I loved him, up to now we dont have kids, I had miscarriages twice. (2010, recently after christmas of 2014).. I shared my dream to come to Canada to him too. I started to apply for FSW skilled worker category Nurse, my application started sometime May of 2010, after 32 months of processing, we finally got our Immigrant Visa by November of 2012.

We migrated to Canada, our first entry was April 3,2013, at that time when we approach immigation officers they asked questions if we have dependents, or children left behind and he said NO and signed his copy of COPR (Copy of Permanent Residence) in front of the officers.... He was different from the guy I used to know....he changed a lot a made my life hard... but I still keep on to my marraige coz
I dont want to end up broken, mostly he's bad ( he doesnt get violent physically but he just keep saying hurting words) sometimes he's
good... When I got pregnant a few months back, he was not even excited...he didn't show any care.... until I miscarried after christmas, I just thought of maybe it was God's plan. Just this endwk of January, I used to know his facebook account and password, and checked his messages, but recently he was sending messages to another person, at first i didnt mind about it, until after along the messages has different meaning, so I tried to investigate and saw photos, there was photos of a girl and a woman, she uploaded 3 thousand photos mostly the kid and it was just set in one location it was taken mostly at my in laws house... the woman and that 3 yr old girl are staying with my in laws....then i started to get mad coz i wanted to know who are these people...and they dont want to tell me the truth.... Until they all got cornered and my mother in law told the truth that it was my husbands child... I was shocked and deeply heart broken, coz all along they fooled me after all the good things Ive done to them.... for years (everything I have I ve shared with them, because
I consider them my family too.... He cheated on me just a year after our marriage.... then why did that woman and the kid not asked my husband responsibilty before he came with me here, if I had known I should not have continued to bring him here.

Im so confused ....What can I do... to get justice for his cheating and fooling me...can I asked CIC to deport him , for lying and using me to come here, to have a job and support his mistress and illegitimate child... Whats the chances of getting that child come here... I wanted to file Concubinage or Adultery in my country and want them both go to jail..... Pls help me
So sorry to hear about the huge personal betrayal and your miscarriages as well. If you immigrated here together (i.e. you were primary applicant but he was a dependent, rather than a sponsored spouse who came here later), there is little that you can do other than break up with him because he is not under conditional PR.

The CIC will not deport or imprison him for mis-representating his # of dependents. In Canada this is considered a more personal betrayal rather than a legal issue and CIC doesn't generally use its resources to address personal betrayals.

The CIC will bar the child from coming to Canada because she was not declared before (or at) landing. This is what the declaration that your husband signed said.

So the child is also betrayed by her father and has to pay the price for your husband's misrepresentation. Someone who would betray his wife is not a good person. Nor is someone who would deny, abandon and betray his own child and have his child pay the price for his lies.

You are good to be rid of him, but I'm sorry for his child as well.
 

lindacolbert

Newbie
Apr 3, 2015
5
0
Really sorry to read about your married life but now its time for you to be strong and move on in life, as you are an independent women. I would suggest you to hire a an attorney take his advice and fight for justice.
 

obib

Star Member
Dec 3, 2011
124
2
scylla said:
There isn't much you can do.

It's extremely unlikely CIC will deport him. In order for this to be possible you would have to provide hard evidence (e.g. birth certificate, DNA test) that the child is his and that he failed to declare the child before you landed. And even if you provide this evidence, there's still no guarantee he will be deported from Canada and I think it's likely CIC would let him stay.

If you try to get him deported this could also put your own PR status in danger since both of you were part of the same application where the child was not declared. So in my opinion it would be very unwise of you to report this to CIC if you want to keep your own PR status.

The best thing you can do is forget about your husband and move on with your life.



.....The above from Scylla is the wisest Counsel you can ever get from anyone. The Pain is much but please cheer up and move on with your life.You will meet someone who will cherish and reward your good heart!
.......Wise Counsel

He will never be able to sponsor the child to Canada because he failed to declare the child when he immigrated.