How transparent should I be in the application?

[sfp123]

Hi there,

So my situation is this:

My partner (American) and I (Canadian) have been together for 2 years. We moved in together in January, and just recently got engaged. I have been trying to find a way to stay in the US, so that we could keep living together and pursue our careers for a couple more years before moving to Canada. However, I was not able to do that, and because we are same-gender, she cannot sponsor me to stay, and so we are applying for her to join me in Canada instead. I will have to leave before we will have been living together for 12 months, so we can't apply as common-law.

In light of this, we are planning to get married in a small civil ceremony this fall, so we can get the application in asap. Then we will have the Big Wedding next summer.

My question is, how honest should I be about all that? I don't feel like I have anything to hide, and I want to represent my relationship honestly. But should I write in the application what I wrote above? To explain why we only had a small wedding? And to say that we are planning a bigger one for later? Or would that just raise red flags? I have plenty of proof of our relationship beyond the wedding itself, but it is likely to look pretty small. Because frankly I don't want to have 2 weddings. My inclination is to keep this first one really simple.

Any thoughts?

Thanks!

 

[computergeek]

I would be cautious because this might make it appear to be a marriage of convenience:

When someone gets married for the sole reason of immigrating to Canada, this is known as a marriage of convenience.

Source: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department/media/facts/marriage.asp.

In your case that is not the sole reason, but it is the key reason for your timing and you don't want to give a visa officer a reason to refuse your application. While you can appeal to the IAD and likely prevail, no one would want to add a couple of years to the process! So I'd caution you to be very careful here - to make it clear your relationship is genuine and this is merely one more step along the way.

If they do have doubts, it is likely you'll be called for an interview. Good luck!

 

[Zouk Princesse]

I think it's all in the way you phrase it. If you say "we had a quick small ceremony so that we could apply sooner", then I agree with computergeek, it will look a bit MoC-ish.

Focus it more on your relationship vs facilitating the application. You mentioned that you can't do the US sponsorship as a same sex couple, so I'm taking that to mean that same-sex relationships are not recognized in your state. Maybe phrase it more along the lines of wanting to move forward in your relationship, wanting to make that next level of committment, and not being allowed to do so where you are, hence the reason for moving to Canada. You certainly want to be honest, but just be sure to present the facts in a way that does not add further suspicion. You might want to check out some of the same sex conjugal partner threads on here. Although you're not applying that route, they might give you some pointers on how to present your situation. Good luck!

 

[Isometry]

Focus it more on your relationship vs facilitating the application. You mentioned that you can't do the US sponsorship as a same sex couple, so I'm taking that to mean that same-sex relationships are not recognized in your state.

http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/types/types_2991.html: "Same-sex marriages are not recognized by immigration law for the purpose of immigrating to the U.S." The US explicitly disallows the sponsoring of a same-sex spouse, even if the marriage was legal where it was performed and in the state where the sponsor resides. It's silly and it sucks, but it is a rule. However, you could still easily use the argument that you're moving to Canada because even legally married same-sex couples can face more discrimination in the US than in Canada.

I'm seconding Zouk's advice, though. It's all in the presentation. Additionally, it's not unheard of for a couple to have a small civil ceremony followed some months later by a fancy one. It can make a lot of sense, depending on the logistics. I'd say to present all of the facts, and just make sure you can explain/justify any decisions that might seem weird.

 

[computergeek]

I'm taking that to mean that same-sex relationships are not recognized in your state.

Regardless of whether or not her state recognizes same-sex relationships, the US Government does not recognize them and the current policy is that same-sex couples cannot sponsor their partners. There is no H&C class like there was in Canada (how same-sex couples sponsored their partners prior to the recognition of same-sex couples under Canadian immigration law.)

Thus, the only option for a same-sex couple to immigrate to the US legally is via economic immigration (or winning the immigration lottery). That's actually why same-sex couples often choose to immigrate to Canada - their relationship is recognized.

 

[Zouk Princesse]

Oh wow...didn't realize that US didn't allow same sex sponsorships period, thought it was tied into the state's recognition. Then again, if pregnancy and women's rights are still on the discussion table, I'm not surprised that same-sex sponsorship is out the door! Sad man. A loving couple can't be together, yet you can go on a show to compete to marry Flava Flav. Smh...

 

[computergeek]

Oh wow...didn't realize that US didn't allow same sex sponsorships period, thought it was tied into the state's recognition. Then again, if pregnancy and women's rights are still on the discussion table, I'm not surprised that same-sex sponsorship is out the door! Sad man. A loving couple can't be together, yet you can go on a show to compete to marry Flava Flav. Smh...

True. The US is a country in which some politicians believe that it cannot be rape if a woman get's pregnant because her body can "reject" it.

 

[parker24]

True. The US is a country in which some politicians believe that it cannot be rape if a woman get's pregnant because her body can "reject" it.

+1 for making me laugh so loud I scared my husband

 

[sfp123]

It's too bad it's true! Ugh! (I mean about the politician...)

Yes, it's amazing to me how many people don't know about the marriage discrimination down here. It's really awful! But, it is great that Canada will treat our relationship just the same as any straight relationship.

This discussion is helpful. I think what I will do is talk about how we feel really ready for the next level of commitment (it's true) and the reasons why we want to do it, and how it has been hard that it's not allowed here in the US. Then we can present the story of our small legal wedding, and talk about how we plan to have a larger one later, when we can save up more money for it, because all this immigration stuff, plus my return back to Canada post masters degree, is going to be kind of expensive! It's all totally true. I think in the meantime we'll have a big engagement party and take lots of pictures!

Thanks everyone.

 

[KJG]

True. The US is a country in which some politicians believe that it cannot be rape if a woman get's pregnant because her body can "reject" it.

I mean seriously...no wonder the USA is in trouble....how can grown and supposedly educated man actually have the audacity to say this out loud and believe it........

 

[computergeek]

I mean seriously...no wonder the USA is in trouble....how can grown and supposedly educated man actually have the audacity to say this out loud and believe it........

Even scarier are that they are elected to office.

As a (British) friend of mine said: "It's like turkeys voting for Christmas..." A more US way of saying it would be "It's like turkeys voting for Thanksgiving" - but it does really still seem to be true.

It's sad. Which reminds me, it's time to send in my (primary) ballot.

For any US citizens wishing to vote while outside the US, the simplest way is to start here: http://www.fvap.gov.

 

[JimM]

+1 for making me laugh so loud I scared my husband

What will make you laugh harder, (or shake your head in amazement), is even after saying that he still leads in the polls....

 

[computergeek]

What will make you laugh harder, (or shake your head in amazement), is even after saying that he still leads in the polls....

More like make you cry. It mystifies me how people can be so cruel to others.

 

[JimM]

I think it's all in the way you phrase it. If you say "we had a quick small ceremony so that we could apply sooner", then I agree with computergeek, it will look a bit MoC-ish.

Focus it more on your relationship vs facilitating the application. You mentioned that you can't do the US sponsorship as a same sex couple, so I'm taking that to mean that same-sex relationships are not recognized in your state. Maybe phrase it more along the lines of wanting to move forward in your relationship, wanting to make that next level of committment, and not being allowed to do so where you are, hence the reason for moving to Canada. You certainly want to be honest, but just be sure to present the facts in a way that does not add further suspicion. You might want to check out some of the same sex conjugal partner threads on here. Although you're not applying that route, they might give you some pointers on how to present your situation. Good luck!

This makes me a little nervous.

My wife and I mentioned we had originally intended for me to move up on a Work Visa and then handle my divorce, (I'd been separated from my ex for ages at that point) and the higher cost of getting PR once we were together and just had one set of bills. When that fell through we just went ahead with the divorce and wedding. Now you've got me wondering if this will sound MoCish...

It didn't however raise any flags with our lawyer, so maybe that would be ok too

 

[Isometry]

The way I figure is there's a couple scenarios:

1. Marrying so that you can get into the country - MoC
2. Marrying so that you can be with your partner - NOT MoC
3. Marrying so that you can be with your partner via getting into the country - NOT MoC

I think that a lot of us fall under #3.... sfp123 sounds like she does, and I certainly did. If I'd been born in the same country as my spouse, we would have moved in a year earlier than we did, but probably not bothered with getting married until much farther down the line!


Computergeek, thanks for the link! I hadn't really thought about how I was going to vote this year