Gathering up information for myself, could use experienced help!

[MountainVistas]

I have read the sticky at top, and I've done personal research, but I feel so overwhelmed! I'm sure my story isn't terribly unique, and I read some reads with people in my situation, but I would just appreciate simple, straightforward advice.

My boyfriend is Canadian, I'm American. We've been dating for two years, and we met online. We've visited each other about once every six months, which is about three times now. On the third trip, we hatched a plan for me to stay in Canada for 3-6 months, and then move to Seattle (I lived in New York). At the border, I was found inadmissible because I had given up my apartment and job and they didn't feel confident I would leave once I was in. I came to stay with my sister in Alaska. This was last month.

We're committed, we would like to live together, but we were both uncomfortable with marriage as a method to that for two reasons: 1. we're both romantic fuddy-duddies and wanted it to be natural after we lived together 2. Barring that, trying to actually do a ceremony with our families when we're in two different countries would be a nightmare. A conjugal partner visa would be nice, but I understand that since we have the capacity to get married (or I think we do), it would not apply to us (please correct me if I'm wrong).

What I would like to know is what are my options for living and working there? Is a spousal visa the easiest, the best? We feel happy being committed, and marriage itself doesn't bother us, and we're willing to sacrifice the traditional aspects and ceremonies we wanted if that means really being together, but I want to know if there's a way for me to live with him without having to, and if not, how does the department generally feel about situations like ours? Sympathetic, does a spousal visa seem likely if we marry now, despite not living together?

As I understand it, the application process takes about a year? Can we stay together somehow in the interim? Any other advice?

I'm very sorry if this is the kind of stuff you guys are tired of, but I feel so overwhelmed! After the mistake at the border, I just don't want to go in overconfident and blind anymore.

 

[amikety]

You are correct about the Conjugal visa. It won't work for an American/Canadian couple. But yes, in most cases, spouse visa is easiest way to go about it.

There are a few things you could try:
- attempting to visit Canada. If you bring "proof" you intend to return to the USA, you may have better luck. Proof could be a lease. If your sister could write up a roommate rental lease for you, showing you have an "obligation" to go back to - if you're comfortable with the idea. Just keep in mind, she would probably be able to hold you to it legally if things go sour.
- Try to get a study visa. Not the easiest way to go about it and you'll need to have significant savings to show ahead of time (10K + 1 years tuition + plane ticket, money from loans is okay & some Canadian universities are Title 9 through the US Dept of Education).
- Work Visa. If you have a bachelor's degree, you can probably qualify for NAFTA. If you have childcare training and/or full time, paid experience, you could try for a nanny. Other work visa options include SWAP and employer sponsored. Employer sponsored are the hardest to get and I'm going to give my opinion that Americans are "undesirable" for that type.

On a personal note - my husband and I tried to go down the same road you are now. Looking back, we should've just gotten married the second the ink dried on his divorce papers. Today is exactly two years since I entered Canada for the final time (yes, there are ways to stay longer than 6 months as a visitor - and you can qualify as Common-Law as a visitor) and I've been unable to work the entire time. Can't find an employer to sponsor me for a work permit. (I don't qualify for NAFTA.) It's been hard, frustrating, and feel like we've been living our lives on hold. Hopefully we'll get my visa next month so I can land and go get a job........! Anyhoo, that's just my experience. Depending on your situation, you may have more options available to you.

 

[osdamour]

You guys don't have to get married in order to apply. you can apply under common-law sponsorship which most of the people in the forum do. Once you sent you're application,it might be hard for you to go to Canada for a visit however he can be leaving outside canada with you if you can provide his needs. Because it won't probably be able to work in USA. You can still try to get in Canada as a visitor but you have to show them that you will return (ie: job letter for vacation time.etc) This is what we are facing here for most of us. If I was living a border away from my wife, I would have been packing my stuff and go leave with her in her country until she got her PR.

Good luck to you guys.

 

[MountainVistas]

@amikety: How would I qualify to stay longer as a visitor? Surely they'd see it as me attempting exactly what I would be doing--trying to apply as a common-law partner? I don't think they'd approve, and then wouldn't they get made that I basically was trying to game the system by presenting proof I'll return only to turn around and attempt to live there anyway? Also, I thought that the application for the visa takes about a year to complete? By the way, I appreciate the personal note. It calms me down to know that other people got through this hurdle. Thank you.

@osdamour: But I thought common law partners have to live together for a year in order to qualify? As I said, we don't live together. I'd love to live with him, but as only a visitor I'd feel like a burden, and like amikety, it would be putting our lives on hold until then. Is there something I don't understand about the common law arrangement? Thank you!

 

[scylla]

You've understood the requirements for common law correctly. To qualify as common law, you must first live together for a minimum of one full year.

 

[amikety]

@ amikety: How would I qualify to stay longer as a visitor? Surely they'd see it as me attempting exactly what I would be doing--trying to apply as a common-law partner? I don't think they'd approve, and then wouldn't they get made that I basically was trying to game the system by presenting proof I'll return only to turn around and attempt to live there anyway? Also, I thought that the application for the visa takes about a year to complete? By the way, I appreciate the personal note. It calms me down to know that other people got through this hurdle. Thank you.

@ osdamour: But I thought common law partners have to live together for a year in order to qualify? As I said, we don't live together. I'd love to live with him, but as only a visitor I'd feel like a burden, and like amikety, it would be putting our lives on hold until then. Is there something I don't understand about the common law arrangement? Thank you!

If that was the case, I would've been kicked out a long time ago.

Anyway, you are allowed to change your mind once you get here. If you decide not to go back, then you decide not to go back.

 

[MountainVistas]

Wouldn't that count as being an illegal immigrant? And what would happen if I had to go back over the border? They probably wouldn't let me back...hmm. I guess that means that spousal visa is the best idea? And as I understand it, the visa doesn't arrive for a good year, if approved? What would you, personally, recommend?

 

[MountainVistas]

There's also something else--my boyfriend is insisting it would be possible to get a work visa, but I'm not a skilled worker, and I don't see anyone attempting to hire an American when they can just as easily look for a Canadian. Is he right? Is it simple enough?

 

[opmama]

There's also something else--my boyfriend is insisting it would be possible to get a work visa, but I'm not a skilled worker, and I don't see anyone attempting to hire an American when they can just as easily look for a Canadian. Is he right? Is it simple enough?

There is a TN status under NAFTA where you can work if you fall into one of the right categories, but they're quite specific (and most require related university degrees). All other work visas are pretty big hurdles and take time or a company who really wants you and has resources to put behind making that happen.

You could also look into SWAP (if you're under 30, I think), or a study visa. Or having him come to the US on a TN work visa for a year or two if he qualifies in one fo the work categories (which would get you guys to common-law status with a lot more evidence of relationship, and then you could apply during his second year of TN work).

 

[osdamour]

There is a TN status under NAFTA where you can work if you fall into one of the right categories, but they're quite specific (and most require related university degrees). All other work visas are pretty big hurdles and take time or a company who really wants you and has resources to put behind making that happen.

You could also look into SWAP (if you're under 30, I think), or a study visa. Or having him come to the US on a TN work visa for a year or two if he qualifies in one fo the work categories (which would get you guys to common-law status with a lot more evidence of relationship, and then you could apply during his second year of TN work).

or simply do what Amikety said make. find a job or make a common rent apartment with you sister (or whatever can work) to proof that you will return in USA then there extend your stay.

 

[MountainVistas]

So as I understand it, it is in fact difficult to get a work visa. He says he's seen plenty of foreigners working and living in Canada unskilled. How did they get there? I'm not a student, so student programs aren't available to me.

Is evidence of a relationship hard to prove? We have excessive Skype and email conversation, pictures of trips together, records of visits. Do they interview you Newlywed style?

As far as staying there as a tourist, that would mean I couldn't work, right?

I'll ask, what in everyone's individual opinion is the best way for me to live with him? What goal should I pursue? Show of hands! ;D

 

[amikety]

So as I understand it, it is in fact difficult to get a work visa. He says he's seen plenty of foreigners working and living in Canada unskilled. How did they get there? I'm not a student, so student programs aren't available to me.

Is evidence of a relationship hard to prove? We have excessive Skype and email conversation, pictures of trips together, records of visits. Do they interview you Newlywed style?

As far as staying there as a tourist, that would mean I couldn't work, right?

I'll ask, what in everyone's individual opinion is the best way for me to live with him? What goal should I pursue? Show of hands! ;D

I'll say it again. Americans are undesirable for work visas that require employee sponsorship. We "know our rights" and "don't work hard enough." This is very unofficial, but 100% my experience.

A lot of the foreigners he sees could be a) international students on post graduate work permits; b) spouses of foreign students who applied for a work permit; or c) spouse of a foreign worker who applied for a work permit.

Americans rarely get interviewed. We have over 100 people on our spreadsheet (Ottawa) and only 1 American citizen that I know of was interviewed. Let's face it - American/Canadian couples are common. We share a really big border. We have towns that are in both countries. Not to mention, our culture is very similar, we largely speak the same language (whether first or second language - English), and standard of living is about the same. There are no real reasons to immigrate to Canada (the land of polar bears) other than a genuine relationship for vast majority of Americans.

Best way, go in as a Visitor. Create some ties and try to re-enter. No working. A lot of time to stare at the wall. Very boring. (I decide to go back to school.)

Living together is the best proof of relationship.

 

[osdamour]

So as I understand it, it is in fact difficult to get a work visa. He says he's seen plenty of foreigners working and living in Canada unskilled. How did they get there? I'm not a student, so student programs aren't available to me.

Is evidence of a relationship hard to prove? We have excessive Skype and email conversation, pictures of trips together, records of visits. Do they interview you Newlywed style?

As far as staying there as a tourist, that would mean I couldn't work, right?

I'll ask, what in everyone's individual opinion is the best way for me to live with him? What goal should I pursue? Show of hands! ;D

Well "the end justify the means" for most people. See most of the unskill workers enter legally in Canada maybe as a visitor, then stay or are refugees or whatever reason. But keep in mind that they didn't apply for a WORK VISA. What is difficult is to enter, once you are in it's another story. Try to keep your status as longer as you can an apply.

you proof of relationship will count only if you lived together for minimum one year...or you get MARRIED. that's it

 

[MountainVistas]

That was my thought on the matter--work visas seem unlikely in my situation unless I were a gold plated astronaut-millionaire.

In your opinion, amikety, why is it better to come in as a visitor? Also, are there official channels to allow them to prolong the visitor stay, or do I park my butt? Once that year has passed, what exactly should I do?

 

[opmama]

So as I understand it, it is in fact difficult to get a work visa. He says he's seen plenty of foreigners working and living in Canada unskilled.

So... going out on a limb here, and I definitely mean no offense. But you said the two of you concocted the plan that had you quitting your job and apartment and trying to get across the border as a visitor (which was denied). And he's now saying stuff about work visas and such that isn't sounding very well informed.

The deal is, this stuff isn't rocket science, but it does require a lot of information gathering and attention to detail. It's not "easy", and it's a lot easier if both of you actually participate in understanding the process and gathering the required documents and income statements and relationship proof. From the little you've shared here, it sounds like you're doing most or all of the work (and you're the one that left your home, moved, is dealing with the upheaval of getting denied, etc).

Is there a piece of this you can ask him to research? If he thinks work visas are easy, have him take a look at the options and figure out how you could best come up. Have him check local job postings and see if local employers are hiring for TN status jobs if you qualify for one of those.

My husband had NO IDEA how time consuming this was until we started filling out an inch of forms together. I think it's fairly normal to assume it's "easy", but it's just not, and being on the same page about that is really helpful.