from consensual polyamory to private civil marriage

[traum]

Hello everyone, thank you for your time. Please feel free to write me a pm if you're worried about sharing on this topic. I'm seeking everyone's personal perspectives because our situation may be frowned upon by some people and I'd like to hear about it. I'm not going to take your opinion as the law, so please relax and speak your mind. I will consult a lawyer before submitting our documents.

I'm a Canadian citizen looking to apply for outland sponsorship PR for my husband. Neither my significant other nor I care about cultural traditions.
My significant other and I met online. After 5 years of friendship, we entered into a consensual polyamorous relationship for 8 months, and then our third member exited the relationship amicably.
After 6 months we got married in a private civil ceremony with no family or friends invited. We got married because we knew we might apply for sponsorship PR and we had been talking about marriage and children since the start of the relationship.
We still plan on hosting a ceremony for our family and friends, who are scattered across the globe in multiple countries. We want to make the ceremony feel special for our family and friends, so we haven't told them about our marriage.
We have lived together for 3.5 months, but due to work locations we don't live together.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts about our situation and what we may have done wrong? As I've mentioned, we didn't care at all about what other people might think and now I'm worried that an immigration officer could be biased against us for not observing traditions.

1. What are the red flags you think an immigration officer evaluating our case might see?
2. Should we submit proofs of our relationship when we were in a consensual polyamorous relationship, or should we only include exchanges between the two of us?
3. Do you think trying polyamory can be cause for dismissing our case?
4. Do you think having a private civil marriage can be cause for dismissing our case?
5. Do you think we should omit our polyamory?
6. What should we address and explain in detail and what should we gloss over?

 

[Jets13]

Hello everyone, thank you for your time. Please feel free to write me a pm if you're worried about sharing on this topic. I'm seeking everyone's personal perspectives because our situation may be frowned upon by some people and I'd like to hear about it. I'm not going to take your opinion as the law, so please relax and speak your mind. I will consult a lawyer before submitting our documents.

I'm a Canadian citizen looking to apply for outland sponsorship PR for my husband. Neither my significant other nor I care about cultural traditions.
My significant other and I met online. After 5 years of friendship, we entered into a consensual polyamorous relationship for 8 months, and then our third member exited the relationship amicably.
After 6 months we got married in a private civil ceremony with no family or friends invited. We got married because we knew we might apply for sponsorship PR and we had been talking about marriage and children since the start of the relationship.
We still plan on hosting a ceremony for our family and friends, who are scattered across the globe in multiple countries. We want to make the ceremony feel special for our family and friends, so we haven't told them about our marriage.
We have lived together for 3.5 months, but due to work locations we don't live together.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts about our situation and what we may have done wrong? As I've mentioned, we didn't care at all about what other people might think and now I'm worried that an immigration officer could be biased against us for not observing traditions.

1. What are the red flags you think an immigration officer evaluating our case might see?
2. Should we submit proofs of our relationship when we were in a consensual polyamorous relationship, or should we only include exchanges between the two of us?
3. Do you think trying polyamory can be cause for dismissing our case?
4. Do you think having a private civil marriage can be cause for dismissing our case?
5. Do you think we should omit our polyamory?
6. What should we address and explain in detail and what should we gloss over?

You will have to prove that your relationship is genuine and not for the purposes of immigration. You will need to provide proofs for that. Things like pictures, chats, presents you sent each other, passport stamps for when you visited each other....vacations you took...letters from friends and family who know about the relationship etc.
So doing just a civil ceremony could be a red flag if the normal culture is to have a bigger wedding. For example a court marriage in the united states is probably not as much of a red flag as say if it was in India where the weddings are much larger and grandeur. So as long as its as per the norms its not a red flag per se.
I personally think you should omit your polyamory. That was in the past and you cannot sponsor this person for PR as it is. So I would just focus on proving your relationship with your husband. Might be a good idea to apply after you do the ceremony for friends and family, that way you can include letters of support from them in the application.

 

[traum]

Thank you for your thoughts, Jets13! I really appreciate your suggestion.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

Hello everyone, thank you for your time. Please feel free to write me a pm if you're worried about sharing on this topic. I'm seeking everyone's personal perspectives because our situation may be frowned upon by some people and I'd like to hear about it. I'm not going to take your opinion as the law, so please relax and speak your mind. I will consult a lawyer before submitting our documents.

I'm a Canadian citizen looking to apply for outland sponsorship PR for my husband. Neither my significant other nor I care about cultural traditions.
My significant other and I met online. After 5 years of friendship, we entered into a consensual polyamorous relationship for 8 months, and then our third member exited the relationship amicably.
After 6 months we got married in a private civil ceremony with no family or friends invited. We got married because we knew we might apply for sponsorship PR and we had been talking about marriage and children since the start of the relationship.
We still plan on hosting a ceremony for our family and friends, who are scattered across the globe in multiple countries. We want to make the ceremony feel special for our family and friends, so we haven't told them about our marriage.
We have lived together for 3.5 months, but due to work locations we don't live together.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts about our situation and what we may have done wrong? As I've mentioned, we didn't care at all about what other people might think and now I'm worried that an immigration officer could be biased against us for not observing traditions.

1. What are the red flags you think an immigration officer evaluating our case might see?
2. Should we submit proofs of our relationship when we were in a consensual polyamorous relationship, or should we only include exchanges between the two of us?
3. Do you think trying polyamory can be cause for dismissing our case?
4. Do you think having a private civil marriage can be cause for dismissing our case?
5. Do you think we should omit our polyamory?
6. What should we address and explain in detail and what should we gloss over?

Keep the polyamory stuff to yourself. No need to mention it in the app.

1. No obvious flags.

2. As above.

3. No.

4. As long as a court wedding is not against cultural norms, i.e. countries where large traditional weddings are expected.

5. Yes.

6. Nothing. Cover letters aren't required.

 

[traum]

Thank you for your thoughts, canuck_in_uk! I really appreciate your suggestion.

 

[StellaArtois]

Hello everyone, thank you for your time. Please feel free to write me a pm if you're worried about sharing on this topic. I'm seeking everyone's personal perspectives because our situation may be frowned upon by some people and I'd like to hear about it. I'm not going to take your opinion as the law, so please relax and speak your mind. I will consult a lawyer before submitting our documents.

I'm a Canadian citizen looking to apply for outland sponsorship PR for my husband. Neither my significant other nor I care about cultural traditions.
My significant other and I met online. After 5 years of friendship, we entered into a consensual polyamorous relationship for 8 months, and then our third member exited the relationship amicably.
After 6 months we got married in a private civil ceremony with no family or friends invited. We got married because we knew we might apply for sponsorship PR and we had been talking about marriage and children since the start of the relationship.
We still plan on hosting a ceremony for our family and friends, who are scattered across the globe in multiple countries. We want to make the ceremony feel special for our family and friends, so we haven't told them about our marriage.
We have lived together for 3.5 months, but due to work locations we don't live together.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts about our situation and what we may have done wrong? As I've mentioned, we didn't care at all about what other people might think and now I'm worried that an immigration officer could be biased against us for not observing traditions.

1. What are the red flags you think an immigration officer evaluating our case might see?
2. Should we submit proofs of our relationship when we were in a consensual polyamorous relationship, or should we only include exchanges between the two of us?
3. Do you think trying polyamory can be cause for dismissing our case?
4. Do you think having a private civil marriage can be cause for dismissing our case?
5. Do you think we should omit our polyamory?
6. What should we address and explain in detail and what should we gloss over?

1. I think they would only consider the private civil ceremony a red flag if you don't explain why. Your explanation here for doing it privately with no family or friends present makes perfect sense and they just need to read it to understand

2. As stated by the other posters, the emphasis for your application is on the relationship between you and the person you are sponsoring. Regardless of what else was going on, it is important that they see that you have had a great friendship and relationship with your husband throughout the years and presently. Accordingly, submit all proofs that support you have been staying in touch/interacting with each other from when you met to the current time.

3. I have no idea, sorry!

4. I think if sufficiently explained they would not be able to refuse your case because of it.

5. That would probably be for the best. Just focus on how you and your husband are great together and nothing else.

6. Aside from the polyamory, everything else that you've stated here is relevant to several of the questions in the relationship evaluation section (e.g., they have a section stating if relatives did not attend to explain why, they have a section stating if you didn't have a wedding reception to explain why, and also there's a section where you can talk about why you aren't living together). In the sections where you talk about these things, if you run out of room you can always direct the reader to an addendum and finish your explanations. It is better to make sure that you have been clear in strongly proving your genuine relationship (both in print and in your other proofs) than have to be called in for an interview (though that still isn't the end of the world)!
NOTE: when my husband and I submitted our application May 2019 there was definitely a relationship evaluation form we had to complete, but now I don't see it on the updated document checklist for family class sponsorship... not sure if they absorbed that form into the other forms, or if everything they used to ask there is gone?? EDIT nevermind I found it, it's all in IMM 5532

 

[traum]

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions, StellaArtois! I really appreciate that you shared your experience with filling out the application forms.