I met my wife on Facebook just before Christmas of 2014 and in April of next year I flew to Mexico and we got married. Our plan was to save up when I got back home and apply for family class sponsorship so I could bring her home , but many bad things happened and I ended up losing my job. I tried for three months to find something else but I cannot even get a pizza delivery job. She was living in a very bad place and the people (family) she was living with were treating her very badly and she was crying on the phone for almost 4 days a week begging me to come back to you with her. I didn't know what to do. I have no money because even though we had a small wedding it was very expensive. I couldn't support her anymore .
I was lucky to get a job offer in Mexico City so I drove there from Canada. we were able to finally live together and even though the job didn't pay much, I was happy because I was finally able to be with my wife and daughter.
Eventually I realized that this was a really bad company to work for. They don't care about their employees and even though I was making an effort to learn, I was always treated differently because I was not Mexican. You don't even have a first name there. You are just wero (white boy). I tried very hard to learn Spanish and I achieved about 40% fluency but it wasn't enough. They told me I would get paid this much, never have to travel and not have to learn English, but all three were lies. They were working me very hard and I would frequently come home at 9 PM or sometimes 10 and when I returned home I would have to continue working . Eventually they started shipping me to different locations around the city and it was very difficult for me to get to the job site. Mayn times it was 2 to 3 hours to get to work because of the traffic. Sometimes they would call me on weekends sometimes they would call me at four in the morning to start working and it was very stressful. It was a very dirty city to live in and I always felt very worried that at any moment I could lose my job.
I became obsessed with trying to bring her back to Canada. There are so many reasons why I wanted to do this. If her or my daughter got into a car accident and she needed an operation it would probably cost us tens of thousands of dollars. I don't know this for sure . I do know that many times I go to the hospital and sometimes we are refused our appointment because there was no power. Everything is so dirty and many times people give me really bad looks. I know that a lot of people have probably had to go through worse than me because compared to other third world countries Mexico is by far not the worst.
All I could think about is how to bring her home. We had no money. It took us over year to save almost $1000 . I was spending so much time trying to figure out how to get back to Canada and I neglected my wife and my daughter. I couldn't focus on our relationship. I can only focus on how miserable and stressed I was to live in Mexico and it almost destroyed our relationship. I had no time to study, no time for professional development. I was always too tired on weekends to play with our daughter. My family, my cousins, my friends, everybody hated my wife. Nobody likes her at all. Nobody would give her a chance. She tried many times to develop friendships with my family members on Facebook and nobody wanted anything to do with her. Many times they would just tell me to quit screwing around Mexico and come back home and meet a Canadian woman.
For many years I have been a very proactive person and focusing on the future is very important to me. I just feel that I would be responsible if I allowed my wife and my daughter to grow up and live in a country that has so little opportunity when I am perfectly capable of bringing them home with the right focused plan and giving them an opportunity for so much more in life. I kept pushing and pushing and eventually I did land a job back in Canada. Even though we talked about this for many months, it still hit my wife very hard when it happened.
I just started working there. It was a long 60 Hour drive but the worst was the few weeks before leaving. My wife was crying all the time and sometimes she would look at me with this if the desperate stare and I would feel so guilty for what I was about to do. I never should have left. It had destroyed our relationship. She still to this day does not believe me for the reason why I left. I keep telling her it's because I love her and I love my daughter and I don't want them to grow up in a country where they're going to have to work 50 or 60 hours a week for barely enough money to even pay for rent. I want to put my daughter through university. I want to see my wife successful in the hotel industry and maybe someday open her own hotel. But I realized that if we are stuck in Mexico most of this will never happen. There is so much more opportunity in Canada and no, it is not a magical place where anything you want can happen, but it is so much of a better place to live .
To this day she still thinks that I left because I can't stand Mexico and I can't stand the traffic. Our relationship is on a single thread right now. She is so angry and hurt right now and was forced to move back into her mother's house again and is now in the same situation that we were after we got married and I returned home and lost my job. Her mother screams at her every day and her brother hits her sometimes. Our daughter who has lost her biological father, is always acting out and is completely out of control. Anytime my wife tries to discipline her daughter or tries to teach her that some of the things she is doing is incorrect the other people in the house start yelling at my wife and she is basically helpless to even raise her own daughter. I am stuck here now with the decision that I have made and there is nothing I can do about it. I barely have enough money for rent right now and I am trying to get on my feet. I don't know what I have to do to repair this relationship.
When I left they gave me everything, the old clothes make up jewelry, the television, everything. I took it all in my car and when I got here I discovered that their visa to visit was denied. We were going to go to Canada and start a new life together and now it was denied and I'm not going to see them for a long time. Supposedly they're going to remove the visitor visa requirement in December but that's no guarantee that you are going to get approved for an ETA to fly to Canada. Of course it only takes a few minutes to get processed but I still think that you are going to have to show that you have a stable job and lots of income and property to tell you to Mexico. It seems like effectively only removed the requirement to pay to enter the country.
I'm so desperate to be with my family again and even though it breaks me to see her poor and helpless with no friends or family or anybody who want anything to do with her, I still feel it was the right decision because one day I want to bring them home and start a new life within the country that has so much opportunity and potential. I can't just suddenly get fired from my job after five years for no reason whatsoever. We have the ability to protect ourselves and give us a strong and stable permanent future.
again, I know that many people on this forum have been through much worse because there are many people who is married from other countries that are much worse off than Mexico so no, my situation is absolutely not unique but it destroys me all the time just thinking of how helpless and desperate my wife is. Her mother told us before I left that she was allowed to live with her but when I return to Canada and the visas got the night I discovered that her mother changed her mind and is going to kick her out very soon. She has no friends or anybody who wants to help her and I barely have any money to send her right now.
Months ago my wife couldn't even get a job at a mom and pop convenience store that can't even spell their bristol board/magic marker signs correctly because she didn't have a four year university degree. So many people there had made us promises and offered to help us in many ways but when the time came to receive their help, they ignored us for weeks and weeks and where nowhere to be found.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. They say that if my wife gets to the border on an airplane and we show proof that we are going to apply for the sponsorship then they are going to stamp her visa for the maximum time they can give us a chance to be together so that we don't have to be apart. This is some hope but honestly I'm very skeptical of this ETA authorization.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to repair the relationship, especially when my wife still believes that I did this just because I hate Mexico. She feels completely betrayed my beat and every time I try to tell her that this is for the best of her family and that this is going to lead us into a new life, she doesn't want to hear it because she feel so hurt that I left her. I never should've left because I can't see my wife or daughter and I don't know what's going to happen.
For anybody on this forum is in a similar situation where they meet somebody they love who lives in a very poor country, do your best to be with them. Stay as long as you can and don't leave to go back home for a better life until you're absolutely certain that they're allowed to be with you because when you see the people you love starving and eating only soup for a whole week and that you can't do anything about it because you're broke also, you're going to regret ever leaving them. I should've just stuck there with them but I never knew all of this was going to happen. Stop dreaming. Make realistic plans and say no to absolutely everything that isn't perfectly planned and written on paper because the most important people in your life might never see you again.
I was lucky to get a job offer in Mexico City so I drove there from Canada. we were able to finally live together and even though the job didn't pay much, I was happy because I was finally able to be with my wife and daughter.
Eventually I realized that this was a really bad company to work for. They don't care about their employees and even though I was making an effort to learn, I was always treated differently because I was not Mexican. You don't even have a first name there. You are just wero (white boy). I tried very hard to learn Spanish and I achieved about 40% fluency but it wasn't enough. They told me I would get paid this much, never have to travel and not have to learn English, but all three were lies. They were working me very hard and I would frequently come home at 9 PM or sometimes 10 and when I returned home I would have to continue working . Eventually they started shipping me to different locations around the city and it was very difficult for me to get to the job site. Mayn times it was 2 to 3 hours to get to work because of the traffic. Sometimes they would call me on weekends sometimes they would call me at four in the morning to start working and it was very stressful. It was a very dirty city to live in and I always felt very worried that at any moment I could lose my job.
I became obsessed with trying to bring her back to Canada. There are so many reasons why I wanted to do this. If her or my daughter got into a car accident and she needed an operation it would probably cost us tens of thousands of dollars. I don't know this for sure . I do know that many times I go to the hospital and sometimes we are refused our appointment because there was no power. Everything is so dirty and many times people give me really bad looks. I know that a lot of people have probably had to go through worse than me because compared to other third world countries Mexico is by far not the worst.
All I could think about is how to bring her home. We had no money. It took us over year to save almost $1000 . I was spending so much time trying to figure out how to get back to Canada and I neglected my wife and my daughter. I couldn't focus on our relationship. I can only focus on how miserable and stressed I was to live in Mexico and it almost destroyed our relationship. I had no time to study, no time for professional development. I was always too tired on weekends to play with our daughter. My family, my cousins, my friends, everybody hated my wife. Nobody likes her at all. Nobody would give her a chance. She tried many times to develop friendships with my family members on Facebook and nobody wanted anything to do with her. Many times they would just tell me to quit screwing around Mexico and come back home and meet a Canadian woman.
For many years I have been a very proactive person and focusing on the future is very important to me. I just feel that I would be responsible if I allowed my wife and my daughter to grow up and live in a country that has so little opportunity when I am perfectly capable of bringing them home with the right focused plan and giving them an opportunity for so much more in life. I kept pushing and pushing and eventually I did land a job back in Canada. Even though we talked about this for many months, it still hit my wife very hard when it happened.
I just started working there. It was a long 60 Hour drive but the worst was the few weeks before leaving. My wife was crying all the time and sometimes she would look at me with this if the desperate stare and I would feel so guilty for what I was about to do. I never should have left. It had destroyed our relationship. She still to this day does not believe me for the reason why I left. I keep telling her it's because I love her and I love my daughter and I don't want them to grow up in a country where they're going to have to work 50 or 60 hours a week for barely enough money to even pay for rent. I want to put my daughter through university. I want to see my wife successful in the hotel industry and maybe someday open her own hotel. But I realized that if we are stuck in Mexico most of this will never happen. There is so much more opportunity in Canada and no, it is not a magical place where anything you want can happen, but it is so much of a better place to live .
To this day she still thinks that I left because I can't stand Mexico and I can't stand the traffic. Our relationship is on a single thread right now. She is so angry and hurt right now and was forced to move back into her mother's house again and is now in the same situation that we were after we got married and I returned home and lost my job. Her mother screams at her every day and her brother hits her sometimes. Our daughter who has lost her biological father, is always acting out and is completely out of control. Anytime my wife tries to discipline her daughter or tries to teach her that some of the things she is doing is incorrect the other people in the house start yelling at my wife and she is basically helpless to even raise her own daughter. I am stuck here now with the decision that I have made and there is nothing I can do about it. I barely have enough money for rent right now and I am trying to get on my feet. I don't know what I have to do to repair this relationship.
When I left they gave me everything, the old clothes make up jewelry, the television, everything. I took it all in my car and when I got here I discovered that their visa to visit was denied. We were going to go to Canada and start a new life together and now it was denied and I'm not going to see them for a long time. Supposedly they're going to remove the visitor visa requirement in December but that's no guarantee that you are going to get approved for an ETA to fly to Canada. Of course it only takes a few minutes to get processed but I still think that you are going to have to show that you have a stable job and lots of income and property to tell you to Mexico. It seems like effectively only removed the requirement to pay to enter the country.
I'm so desperate to be with my family again and even though it breaks me to see her poor and helpless with no friends or family or anybody who want anything to do with her, I still feel it was the right decision because one day I want to bring them home and start a new life within the country that has so much opportunity and potential. I can't just suddenly get fired from my job after five years for no reason whatsoever. We have the ability to protect ourselves and give us a strong and stable permanent future.
again, I know that many people on this forum have been through much worse because there are many people who is married from other countries that are much worse off than Mexico so no, my situation is absolutely not unique but it destroys me all the time just thinking of how helpless and desperate my wife is. Her mother told us before I left that she was allowed to live with her but when I return to Canada and the visas got the night I discovered that her mother changed her mind and is going to kick her out very soon. She has no friends or anybody who wants to help her and I barely have any money to send her right now.
Months ago my wife couldn't even get a job at a mom and pop convenience store that can't even spell their bristol board/magic marker signs correctly because she didn't have a four year university degree. So many people there had made us promises and offered to help us in many ways but when the time came to receive their help, they ignored us for weeks and weeks and where nowhere to be found.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. They say that if my wife gets to the border on an airplane and we show proof that we are going to apply for the sponsorship then they are going to stamp her visa for the maximum time they can give us a chance to be together so that we don't have to be apart. This is some hope but honestly I'm very skeptical of this ETA authorization.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do to repair the relationship, especially when my wife still believes that I did this just because I hate Mexico. She feels completely betrayed my beat and every time I try to tell her that this is for the best of her family and that this is going to lead us into a new life, she doesn't want to hear it because she feel so hurt that I left her. I never should've left because I can't see my wife or daughter and I don't know what's going to happen.
For anybody on this forum is in a similar situation where they meet somebody they love who lives in a very poor country, do your best to be with them. Stay as long as you can and don't leave to go back home for a better life until you're absolutely certain that they're allowed to be with you because when you see the people you love starving and eating only soup for a whole week and that you can't do anything about it because you're broke also, you're going to regret ever leaving them. I should've just stuck there with them but I never knew all of this was going to happen. Stop dreaming. Make realistic plans and say no to absolutely everything that isn't perfectly planned and written on paper because the most important people in your life might never see you again.
