Conjugal Relationship..

[mamipapi]

Just need some answer...

If you are in a conjugal relationship, "other than exchanging letters, gifts and cards, conversing on the phone for hours everyday, chatting on the net almost daily, buying a property together,sending monthly remittances, what else can be called a marriage-like relationship?"

"conversations asking each others lives, how it go...
saying goodnight/goodmorning/good day/..."

"take care when you leave, call me when you're back"

My partner only had been here in the Philippines twice and we'd lived together during these times.

He can't stay here for a year because his job is in Canada.

He's almost twice my age but we'd been previously married.

we're two consenting adults so we know what we're doing.
we know that one can't live without the other.

I almost died when the IO told me that she's not satisfied with our proof of relationship.

why would Canada approved the petition if here i the Philippines can't be approved?

why do we have to pay the residency if I can't be approved?

why still asked to wait and they'll study the documents?

why should they let us suffer more?

it's very hard to be away with your love.

and it's very hard to live without knowing whether you are waiting for something or not.

 

[sbwv09]

Hi there. I can't answer all the questions but I do know that the conjugal relationship is the hardest to get into. You basically have to either be same sex in a country that doesn't allow that marriage or in a country that doesn't allow divorce. I'm not sure if you fall into either one of those categories. They're pretty unforgiving when it comes to reasons you can't live together in a common law partnership. Not being able to afford it, things like that don't seem to fly with them from what I've seen with other cases. Perhaps you could get married and try applying again? You said that CIC wasn't satisfied that your relationship is genuine; was there an interview before they turned you down? I'm sorry that you and your partner are going through this

 

[Leon]

Yes, are there reasons why you can't get married? You say you had been previously married and I have heard that in the Philippines, you can't divorce. Did you list that as a reason why you can't marry? If he didn't have a job in Canada, would it be possible for him to live in the Philippines with you for a year? Would there be visa problems for him to do that?

Conjugal can be very hard to get approved. It basically depends on the visa officer.

For example, in the CIC guidelines, not wanting to give up a job is not considered a valid reason not to live together, see http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/sponsor/spouse-apply-who.asp#conjugal

You should not apply as a conjugal partner if:

You could have lived together but chose not to. This shows that you did not have the level of commitment required for a conjugal relationship. (For example, one of you may not have wanted to give up a job or a course of study, or your relationship was not yet at the point where you were ready to live together.)

 

[mamipapi]

The interview was today...

when I left the room I almost fainted and just wished on dying...

She asked me when is my partner planning to visit me again.

I told her that the plan was for me to go there because it's very hard to part. Third time would cost both our lives.

we're male and female.

I filed for annulment for my previous marriage but after two years it was denied...

I told the IO that we intend to get married once both our marriages are dissolved..

He has a job in Canada, but what can he have here for a job.
even us filipinos are having a hard time to find one, what more if it would be a foreigner.

canada is a first world country, so it's easy to have one. But in my country, it's a walk on fire..


(tnx for the responses, it helps knowing that someone cares),,,

 

[precious123]

Hi mamipapi,
Feel sorry to hear about your case:-(...I'm under conjugal category too but I am still waiting for my visa. And reading your post makes me feel sad. I don't know what they are looking to prove that our relationship is genuine. Are they sent your passport back with refusal letter?Are you annuled yet?

 

[mamipapi]

They don't know how hard it is to be separated.

I had a broken relationship so the IO told me that this one could be just a marriage for convenience.

How can they say such things?

Do they know how to love?

Are they even loved?

it really pains me thinking what kind of trial are we gonna get again this time.

the interview at first sounds promising...

i didn't know that it could be the end of all.

they haven't given my passport back...they said that they'll review my application.

meaning, it's like waiting for nothing.

she already told me that she's not satisfied..

I have the house named on me...

In the Philippines, there's no common-law relationship.

so my partner's name wasn't included.

i aquired the house because that was his gift on my birthday last year.

that's how he trusted me. and loves me.

IO:" why did you buy a house and not live in it?
Me: " I have my apartment listed as my forwarding address" I also have a work here in Manile"
IO: (still not satisfied with my answer)

 

[Leon]

So he bought you a house in the Philippines in your name but you don't live in it? Why are you not living in the house and why did he buy you a house in the Philippines if you are planning on going to Canada when you get your PR? If I was the IO, I would ask about that too.

Even if there is no common law relationship in the Philippines, it could be possible for two people to register and own something together, is it not?

 

[mamipapi]

I am not angry with the IO, I'm just disappointed.

And of course I know that she's just doing her job.

But what can we do if my partner and I chose to file the application, hoping that once everything is settled there, then we would get married.

" Ours is love at first glance" That developed through time...

I don't know what other proofs should we present, I am also his beneficiary with his insurance. He has a brother and a mom. Both are very strong, why take me as the beneficiary.

I have his full name tattooed on my back...
not just small fonts but large ones...

It was my anniversary gift for him.

I have skin asthma, but I gambled on my health...

just to somehow let him know how much I really love him.

They are just signs, yes it can fade...but not everybody in their sane minds would have their loved ones names tattooed on theirs...


I can't breathe...hope everything will be over soon...

 

[mamipapi]

I still have my work here in Manila, the house was located in the countryside... I stay there on weekends..

we are planning to be back here in my country after a year or so...that's why we bought a house...

" A foreigner can never own properties unless he's married to a Filipino"

that's the law here in the Philippines...

 

[bobshynoswife]

I hate tattoos, but if it would serve as proof of our marriage, heck yah I would tattoo his name on my body! LOL! I imagine if having a child together does not prove a relationship, a tattoo would be next to nothing.

OP - I'm sorry for all the heartache you are going through. I too am living away from my love, and every day is difficult. I'm sorry your interview did not go well, but as other's have said, the conjugal class is very difficult.

 

[marisol]

so sad to hear that, now im getting nervous because were on the same boat, dont just lose hope, you haven't receive the refusal letter, so there is still the chance that they will review it (just my opinion)..

 

[precious123]

I agree, unless theres no refusal letter in your hand theres still a chance that they will ask you more proof to prove your relationhip is truly genuine. Good luck and just pray...miracles happen unexpectedly

 

[mamipapi]

Thanks for all your answers. I'm a little bit okay now.

I'll be moving to my house by the end of this month.
I already filed my resignation at the company I am working at right now. I told the IO that I have a job here in Manila that's why I can't live yet in the house that we bought. I am also maintaining the address that I had given the CIC.

My partner told me that if nothing happened with our application, he'll just try to live here with me. Since we already have a home, we'll just establish some business for our necessities.

He can't bear me being sad and weary, about the fact that we may not be able to be together soon.

But IO's are the Gods right now.. we can't do anything but abide by their decisions..

 

[boyee6576]

Immigration process if not for the faint of heart. Its a weary, mind draining process, always waiting. The sad thing is its getting tougher to bring our spouses or partners here. So many have had their spouses or partner leave once they get in the country and they are fighting for tigher restrictions. So it makes it tough for the rest of us. I have had to go three years at one point before I got to see my husband just before we were married. Sometimes I wished the IO could see how my husband and I fall apart everytime I had to go back to Canada alone. He would start two days before my leaving and couldnt look at me without tears. We never knew when we would see each other again. But hopefully soon all the waiting and hard work that each one of us has done will pay off. So we just need to hang in there and pray that God gives us the patience we need to get throught it. Anything thats worth having is worth fighting for

 

[mamipapi]

My partner and I decided to wait a while longer. If my application was refused then we will not appeal. He just have to find a way to stay here in my country.

Appeals could take longer, I even read on the other forums that he has been appealing for almost three years now, and my God they were even married.

We cannot take seeing each other and then get separated after. Just like what I said, the third parting will kill us both. SO it's either I go there or him here.

I never thought that there's such a pain that you'd rather die than see both of you suffer.

But break-up wasn't on the picture. Never thought of it.


These application process can add up to the foundation of our relationship. It's taking its toll on us by measuring how would we survive. And how much can we sacrifice. But as you said, anything that's worth having is worth fighting for.