Addressing Red Flags

[Coldstream63]

In putting together our application, we want to be able to address some potential red flags, and nip any questions in the bud. We'd be very grateful for any feedback the forum could offer.

Age - I'm the sponsor, male, and 13 years older. She's Indonesian, and in her mid-late thirties. We've talked about the age difference before (I brought it up), and she replied basically she really doesn't think about it, nor care. All she's wanting is that I love her, be faithful, and don't hurt her. Needless to say, I do love her, will be faithful, and have no intention to hurt her. Her friends/family have never made an issue of the age either, and just all seemed happy she was in love again.

Faith - I'm non-denominational Christian. She's Muslim. Both of us are very liberal. She expressed worry very early on in the relationship about whether my family would want me dating a Muslim, and as I predicted, my family didn't really care, as long as she made me happy. Likewise, her family didn't really care either. When I visited them, and stayed at their home, I was welcomed so warmly, and made to feel as family. They knew I was Christian, and the issue of faith never even came up. Likewise the community head welcomed me with open arms. She did get a few of her friends tell her to try to convince me to convert, but it was just a couple. The rest of her friends accept the relationship as-is. Interstingly, one of the things that drew us together is that despite our respective faiths, we both practiced (informally) Buddhism, or at least some aspects of itand it was she who taught me quite a bit about meditation, karma, and such. Overall, her position is that peole are people, regardless of faith, and it's how we treat each other that counts in the eyes of God, which is exactly as I see it.

Previous Marriage - She was never married, but was common-law in a previous relationship. For myself, I was separated from my ex, but not formally divorced, when we began our official courtship, though were friends well before that. The delays in getting the divorce decree was very hard on the relationship, but we hung in there. If anything was going to break us up, this was it, as getting the decree was a grinding, consuming, and expensive process.

These issues not withstanding, we have TONS of evidence proving the relationship is genuine: 2000+ emails, screenshots of video-Skype, Skype logs, WhatsApp logs, photos of the gifts we sent and received, receipts for airfare/hotels etc from our three vacations together, money transfer from me when I helped with the costs associated with the passing away of her mum (including cost to fly her from Singapore, where she works, to her mums place), screen prints from her friends and mine on FB discussing our relationship, phone receipts, cards, letters, and (yet to come) affidavits from friends/family. We also have photos of me with her family, and with her boss's family. I will also have correspondence between myself and the local Muslim association, as I wanted to make sure she has that support system in place for when she gets here. We also have the application and refusal letter from CIC when we tried in 2012 to get her here for a TR Visa to meet my friends, children and family.

So.....what do you guys think?

 

[TorontoEH]

Are you married or common law? If common law, have you lived together for a year or more?

Just want to gather some more info from you so we can try and help.

 

[Coldstream63]

We will be married when the application is ready for submittal, and applying at the SVO.

 

[Coldstream63]

Anyone?

 

[mikeymyke]

Has she ever met your family in person? Did your family attend the wedding?

You do have some red flags, but it seems the evidence you've gathered is very good.

 

[Coldstream63]

Thanks for the reply. The wedding is later this year - we are just in the evidence gathering and organizing stage right now.

As for visiting here to meet my friends/family, we applied for a TR Visa for a visit in December 2012, but it was denied. I still have a copy of the application, where we specifically stated that the purpose of the visit was to meet friends/family (as well as seeing Canada for the first time), so it shows at least we tried and it was THEY who prevented her from meeting my friends/family.

As for my family getting to the wedding, that's a tough one. For one, my parents are quite elderly (dad is 99), and would not do well on the trip to Singapore, which is 21 hrs, including layover. My brother cannot attend as he doesn't like to fly. Lastly, is the cost. We are looking at ~$1500-1800 airfare per person round trip, and then there is hotel expenses on top of that. Coming off the lawyer costs for my divorce, *I* can barely eek out enough money to get me there. As much as I'd love a ton of friends and family there, the financial reality is prohibative.

Another option would have been to wed in Indonesia, buit it is not allowed as the Marriage Act of 1974 only allows marriage of people in the same faith, and I will not convert to Islam out of convenience, nor would I ask her to convert to my faith.

 

[mikeymyke]

I see, so you guys are getting married in Singapore instead? Yeah it is a very expensive city to stay in. In that case, given your parents' age, limited income, you will have a good case for them not attending the wedding. It's great that you also researched into Indonesia law to find out that marriages between 2 different religions not allowed, so you're showing CIC why you cannot wed there.

I think that even with your red flags, the supporting evidence you're providing is pretty solid. You should also provide a cover letter that describes development of your relationship in detail so that the VO will get a different perspective. One thing that's really great is that you have pics of you and her family together, CIC really likes it when spouses spend time with the families.

 

[Coldstream63]

Thanks Mikemyke - it's nice to get another set of eyes on our situation. As the we lay everything out and build our relationship history for the VO, we want to make easy reference to everything we state, in the evidence, and will put extra effort in into those areas where there are red flags.

Honestly, these forums are a godsend!

Thanks for helping!

 

[Hasan9999]

So you chose Singapore for wedding to take place as your wife is working there, right? Do you see the possibility of a formal reception followed by honeymoon in Indonesia ?

 

[Obronibini]

To add to all mike said , make sure you have your divorce sorted out and have a divorce certificate at hand, so that cic won't say you were not divorced by the time you got married . The rest of the reg flags can be addressed in the cover note, just tell them why your family can't attend just like you've stated here and you should be fine . Keep record of everything

 

[Coldstream63]

So you chose Singapore for wedding to take place as your wife is working there, right? Do you see the possibility of a formal reception followed by honeymoon in Indonesia ?

Yes, the plan. The reception will be more of a formal meal at a nice place, as the guest list will not exactly be overly large. The honeymoon will be in Indonesia, where we will also be bringing her family over for a few days at a resort for our celebration with them. Our dollars go a long way there,and the place is gorgeous!

 

[Coldstream63]

To add to all mike said , make sure you have your divorce sorted out and have a divorce certificate at hand, so that cic won't say you were not divorced by the time you got married . The rest of the reg flags can be addressed in the cover note, just tell them why your family can't attend just like you've stated here and you should be fine . Keep record of everything

Yes, I'll have the decree in hand, for sure. We're going to adress the other issues in detail, and back them up with as much evidence as we can.

 

[TorontoEH]

Like others have said, you seem to be ready to address any perceived red flags pretty well. I'm not sure that I can add anything else to this other than mentioning that my common law partner and I made sure to include each other as beneficiaries with regards to life policies, savings, pensions etc.

In my opinion, she will be eligible for PR based on her being married to you. The only thing you have to do is convince Immigration that your relationship is genuine. I assume that you will be applying outland due to the TRP and the unlikely case that she will get a TRV. This is a positive as you will have a right to appeal by applying outland. Hopefully it won't come to that, and from what you have provided you seem to be able to handle an interview too.

Obviously everything I mention is in my opinion and it is in no means meant to be any form of guarantee.

 

[gamyover]

About the age gap if your evidence is strong shouldn't be a problem. My husband is 18 years older than me and I was not even call for interview.
Good luck

 

[keesio]

My 2 cents:
1) The age gap is not too bad in your case (man is older than woman). They don't get suspicious until it is like 20+ years. So you are fine
2) CIC does question interfaith marriages however. This may trigger an interview. I'm not sure how religious of a country Indonesia is, but if it a pretty conservative muslim country, this may cause problems for you.
3) As long as you make 100% sure your divorce has been finalized and you have the necessary proof that it is, then you should be fine.

So my only concern is #2. But it sounds like she comes from a family that is not overly conservative in regards to religion, especially since she was common-law before, so I would clearly document that fact.