found this
https://turbotax.community.intuit.ca/questions/1708503-how-to-claim-the-spouse-or-common-law-partner-amount-in-turbo-tax-the-software-is-not-allowing-me-to-add-my-spouse-as-a-dependant-please-help
if they don't let us be together at least I will make them bastards pay for it.