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When you bring up this argument in the math department, be prepared for a symphony of laughter. Assuming applications are processed at a fixed rate, changing priorities can only impact the variance of waiting time, not the mean.

So, seems my application is casually tossed into the Scarbrough pile of paperwork, enduring what feels like a thrilling rollercoaster of suffering and anxiety while their speed-of-light snail agents leisurely saunter towards my file. Isn't bureaucracy just the most delightful game? Let's throw...