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Plz check my SOP for SP

Moh Alduais

Star Member
Apr 1, 2021
98
19
I recently graduated from university, and received an approval from university of Alberta for a master’s degree in structural engineering for winter 2022 intake . Also, I received funding from my advisor. I did not start my SP application. However, I started preparing the documents and this is my first draft.

My SOP




Dear Representative,
My name is xxxx, with passport # xxxxxx, and my date of birth xx/xx/xxxx. I received a letter of acceptance from the University of Alberta to study for a master’s degree in structural engineering theses based as a full-time student. The duration of the program is two years, starting from xx/xx/xxxx, and ends at xx/xx/xxxx. The purpose of this letter is to explain my purpose for applying for a study permit and clarify any doubts that you may have.

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Civil engineering was my passion since I was young, and this passion evolved with time. I was curious how high-rise buildings, dams, bridges, and water tanks are being built. And this passion led me to study hard during my high school to get a fully funded scholarship in one of the top leading universities in the middle east, which is King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals(KFUPM). I started my courses there at xx/xx/xxxx, and recently I graduated with a CGPA of 3.7/4.0 at xx/xx/xxxx, with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering with a second distinction (see xxx). For my English proficiency, my university is exempt from taking the English language test since the medium of instruction is only English (see xxx).

WHY CANADA AND WHY UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA?
Studying abroad is one of the dreams that I am trying to achieve, hence, I had many countries to help me achieve this,such as the USA, Canada, UK, and Australia. However, after deep research, I found that Canada is the best choice with regard to how international students are treated, the diversity of the country, the rich culture, low tuition fees, high standard education, and not forgetting its beautiful nature. These reasons helped me to shortlist my countries and now I will have to start looking for an appropriate university. My main focus was the reputation of the university, its faculty, the research they conduct, it's ranking internationally. Nevertheless, after contacting several professors from several universities, I found one professor that shares the same research interest with me. He was interested in me also and asked to interview me, after that he encouraged me to apply to the University of Alberta and he provided me with an expression of interest email that I included in my application to the university (see xxx). The research interest that we shear is Artificial Intelligence and its application in Civil engineering (see xxx). I attached a letter from my professor recommending me to you and mention the reasons he chose me and why he wants me (see xxxx). I decided to take this course in Canada instead of Saudi Arabia for the reasons mentioned above and to the reputation of the western countries education in the middle east countries and especially in the Gulf Cooperation Council(GCC) countries (see xxxxxx). In addition, a higher degree from Canada will open future opportunities in both academic and corporate fields.

WHY MASTER’S IN STRUCTURAL ENGINEERING?
During my last year in college, I was exposed to various civil engineering filed such as structural engineer, geotechnical engineering, and environmental engineering. However, I was hooked to the field of structuring engineering. That’s why most of the undergraduate elective courses I took were in the structural field. Also, I took three courses outside of the university to learn about structural analysis programs such as Etabs, Safe, and Sap2000, in order to help me excel in my work(see xxx). In addition, during my summer training I was exposed to some higher level of structural design and analysis, that’s why I am planning to take a master’s degree in structural engineering to help me overcome any challenges that I might face in the future. Also, by taking this degree I will be introduced to advanced design methods for both steel and concrete, and earthquake design and analysis.

FAMILY BACKGROUND AND FUTURE EMPLOYMENT
I have parents and my four sisters, and one brother who lives in Saudi Arabia and to not mention my other family members such as my uncles, aunts, and my grandparents. My little brother is very attached to me, and he keeps crying each time I left home for my undergraduate university (see xxx). Also, I am the oldest of my family and I have a very big responsibility in taking care of them, and I can’t leave them for long periods. Additionally, after finishing my summer internship that was required by my university, I received an employment offer from the same company that I worked at. However, I told them I was planning to take a master's first, so they encouraged me and offered me an employment letter until I finish my studies (see xxxx).

FINANCIAL SITUATION AND OWNED PROPERTY
The tuition fees are 8700CAD/year, and the approximate living expenses of one year according to IRCC is about 10000CAD, and 2500 for plane tickets for both arrival and departure. Hence the total money required is 21200CAD for the first year. I received funding from my professor with a total amount of 18000CAD/year in the form of research and teaching assistantships. My sponsor which is my father added xxxxCAD, and my uncle offered xxxxCAD in case of an emergency, since they want me to focus on my studies and not get exhausted by working part-time (see xxx). Hence, the total money I provided is xxxxCAD from my sponsors and 18000CAD/year from my professor, which will help me during my studies. Since I am the first person in my family to study master's and receive it from a western country, they want to provide me with the full support to achieve this goal.With regard to the property that my family own, are two lands located in Sana'a, Yemen, and currently, my father and uncle are building two houses there (see xxxx).



IMMIGRATION STATUS
Regarding my immigration status in Saudi Arabia, I have a valid Iqama and I have an exit-entry visa (see xxxx). Also, I have a letter from my father stating that he will renew my Iqama and exit-entry visa in case they expire (see xxxx). As you can see from my passport (see xxx) I only had a visa to visit Egypt, which I stayed there for one month and left the country, the reason that I had few travel visas is that I was very focused on my studies and did not have the time do so.

DECLARATION OF UNDERSTANDING
In conclusion, completing a higher degree in a well-known university such as the University of Alberta will enhance my skills and boost my confidence when applying for the job. Also, will give me the opportunity to apply for highly paid jobs.
I promise to abide by the rules and regulations of Canada and humbly request for granting me a visa to study in Canada.
Regards,
Passport No.
 

Crassiva

Full Member
Aug 23, 2021
37
6
I recently graduated from university, and received an approval from university of Alberta for a master’s degree in structural engineering for winter 2022 intake . Also, I received funding from my advisor. I did not start my SP application. However, I started preparing the documents and this is my first draft.

My SOP




Dear Representative,
My name is xxxx, with passport # xxxxxx, and my date of birth xx/xx/xxxx. I received a letter of acceptance from the University of Alberta to study for a master’s degree in structural engineering theses based as a full-time student. The duration of the program is two years, starting from xx/xx/xxxx, and ends at xx/xx/xxxx. The purpose of this letter is to explain my purpose for applying for a study permit and clarify any doubts that you may have.

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Civil engineering was my passion since I was young, and this passion evolved with time. I was curious how high-rise buildings, dams, bridges, and water tanks are being built. And this passion led me to study hard during my high school to get a fully funded scholarship in one of the top leading universities in the middle east, which is King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals(KFUPM). I started my courses there at xx/xx/xxxx, and recently I graduated with a CGPA of 3.7/4.0 at xx/xx/xxxx, with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering with a second distinction (see xxx). For my English proficiency, my university is exempt from taking the English language test since the medium of instruction is only English (see xxx).

WHY CANADA AND WHY UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA?
Studying abroad is one of the dreams that I am trying to achieve, hence, I had many countries to help me achieve this,such as the USA, Canada, UK, and Australia. However, after deep research, I found that Canada is the best choice with regard to how international students are treated, the diversity of the country, the rich culture, low tuition fees, high standard education, and not forgetting its beautiful nature. These reasons helped me to shortlist my countries and now I will have to start looking for an appropriate university. My main focus was the reputation of the university, its faculty, the research they conduct, it's ranking internationally. Nevertheless, after contacting several professors from several universities, I found one professor that shares the same research interest with me. He was interested in me also and asked to interview me, after that he encouraged me to apply to the University of Alberta and he provided me with an expression of interest email that I included in my application to the university (see xxx). The research interest that we shear is Artificial Intelligence and its application in Civil engineering (see xxx). I attached a letter from my professor recommending me to you and mention the reasons he chose me and why he wants me (see xxxx). I decided to take this course in Canada instead of Saudi Arabia for the reasons mentioned above and to the reputation of the western countries education in the middle east countries and especially in the Gulf Cooperation Council(GCC) countries (see xxxxxx). In addition, a higher degree from Canada will open future opportunities in both academic and corporate fields.

WHY MASTER’S IN STRUCTURAL ENGINEERING?
During my last year in college, I was exposed to various civil engineering filed such as structural engineer, geotechnical engineering, and environmental engineering. However, I was hooked to the field of structuring engineering. That’s why most of the undergraduate elective courses I took were in the structural field. Also, I took three courses outside of the university to learn about structural analysis programs such as Etabs, Safe, and Sap2000, in order to help me excel in my work(see xxx). In addition, during my summer training I was exposed to some higher level of structural design and analysis, that’s why I am planning to take a master’s degree in structural engineering to help me overcome any challenges that I might face in the future. Also, by taking this degree I will be introduced to advanced design methods for both steel and concrete, and earthquake design and analysis.

FAMILY BACKGROUND AND FUTURE EMPLOYMENT
I have parents and my four sisters, and one brother who lives in Saudi Arabia and to not mention my other family members such as my uncles, aunts, and my grandparents. My little brother is very attached to me, and he keeps crying each time I left home for my undergraduate university (see xxx). Also, I am the oldest of my family and I have a very big responsibility in taking care of them, and I can’t leave them for long periods. Additionally, after finishing my summer internship that was required by my university, I received an employment offer from the same company that I worked at. However, I told them I was planning to take a master's first, so they encouraged me and offered me an employment letter until I finish my studies (see xxxx).

FINANCIAL SITUATION AND OWNED PROPERTY
The tuition fees are 8700CAD/year, and the approximate living expenses of one year according to IRCC is about 10000CAD, and 2500 for plane tickets for both arrival and departure. Hence the total money required is 21200CAD for the first year. I received funding from my professor with a total amount of 18000CAD/year in the form of research and teaching assistantships. My sponsor which is my father added xxxxCAD, and my uncle offered xxxxCAD in case of an emergency, since they want me to focus on my studies and not get exhausted by working part-time (see xxx). Hence, the total money I provided is xxxxCAD from my sponsors and 18000CAD/year from my professor, which will help me during my studies. Since I am the first person in my family to study master's and receive it from a western country, they want to provide me with the full support to achieve this goal.With regard to the property that my family own, are two lands located in Sana'a, Yemen, and currently, my father and uncle are building two houses there (see xxxx).



IMMIGRATION STATUS
Regarding my immigration status in Saudi Arabia, I have a valid Iqama and I have an exit-entry visa (see xxxx). Also, I have a letter from my father stating that he will renew my Iqama and exit-entry visa in case they expire (see xxxx). As you can see from my passport (see xxx) I only had a visa to visit Egypt, which I stayed there for one month and left the country, the reason that I had few travel visas is that I was very focused on my studies and did not have the time do so.

DECLARATION OF UNDERSTANDING
In conclusion, completing a higher degree in a well-known university such as the University of Alberta will enhance my skills and boost my confidence when applying for the job. Also, will give me the opportunity to apply for highly paid jobs.
I promise to abide by the rules and regulations of Canada and humbly request for granting me a visa to study in Canada.
Regards,
Passport No.
It's A great and detailed SOP, try to overcome some mistakes in writing then you are good to go! (You'll get approved for sure).
 
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Moh Alduais

Star Member
Apr 1, 2021
98
19
It's A great and detailed SOP, try to overcome some mistakes in writing then you are good to go! (You'll get approved for sure).
Thank you for your time.
I spent a lot of time researching about the visa rejections, and tried to answer most of them. Hopefully I will get it. Also, I am preparing a document that will guide future students. I post it in the near future. With regard the mistakes this my first draft, that’s why there are some mistakes.
 

StruggleHard

Full Member
Sep 10, 2021
26
12
[/QUOTE]

Hi there,

Sorry for late response, I have gone through your SOP and here are my suggestions and comments

Word count or length is absolutely okay.

You should remove the headings.

Address as Dear Sir/Ma’am to the visa officer.

Second paragraph of why canada require some modifications. In first line don’t show that it is your dream to study in canada because visa officer consider all the factors of their law including bonafide student who just come to Canada for study only & after that student should return to home country. So that is why just give the genuine reasons. Motivation to pursue your masters is little fade in this paragraph, highlight the reasons to pursue masters. Also praise the research opportunities available in Canada as first world country with comparison to middle east.

In third paragraph you have mention that in undergraduate you have some courses of structural engineering, then you took some extra courses out of university then again in summer training you study same courses, so, I think it is not appropriate to mention that you have already studied more than half of your masters courses. I believe that you should not mention you have taken extra courses out of university instead write that in your summer training you were exposed to some new ideas and technicalities in structural engineering and your interest grew, include some technical stuff in your writing like you can give examples of more than one new construction of mega projects in the world like underground transit of Paris, bullet train of Japan, watch some videos of mega projects on “The B1M” youtube channel then write.

Also, if you write why masters paragraph before why Canada then it would be more connecting & your passion reflect about more deep study of structures.

In family background paragraph, it is not necessary to mention about your family, it is not looking appropriate, it seems like you have written it by force out of fear of rejection, just write that you live in joint family system and from the culture you belong require the whole family to stay together and eldest son is responsible to took family responsibility.

Program outcome paragraph is missing, you should mention about the job opportunities available in your country, also mention some big names of your country like ARAMCO(world’s largest company by revenue, just take some benefit from its name) having megaprojects, I am sure structural engineering is linked to it , just do some research before writing, also, somewhere you have to mention very precisely about what is structural engineering so that when you mention here about projects then Visa officer have understanding to connect with points.
https://www.constructionweekonline.com/projects-tenders/263224-saudi-aramco-to-more-than-double-projects-managed-by-2022

https://www.aramco.com/en/news-media/news/2020/aramco-awards-major-agreements-to-eight-companies

Read the above mention links for ARAMCO projects in your country.

In financial situation paragraph in the last line you should add that my family is building two guest houses for business purpose.

In immigration status, add a line where you have written about Egypt that you have left the country within the visa length and not overstayed there.

I have tried to give my suggestion with good intentions. You are not supposed to follow everything, modify only things you consider appropriate. And please ignore my grammatical mistakes.

Good luck with your future plans and wish you very best of luck.
 

canuck78

VIP Member
Jun 18, 2017
55,588
13,519
Would take out that you considered studies in the US, UK, Australia, etc. You essentially can replace the word study with immigration. You need to address why your studies in Canada are required and how your studies in Canada will lead to employment opportunities in your home country. Will you still be able to work in KSA when you graduate? What if your father is no longer working in KSA? Would also consider the state of the oil and gas industry in Canada. Getting a job in the industry may be very difficult.
 
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Moh Alduais

Star Member
Apr 1, 2021
98
19
@StruggleHard
Thank you for your time and effort in checking my SOP.
I will note all the things that you mentioned, and I agree with you on most of the points.
I will spend more time re-writing my SOP taking into consideration your points.
I still have time to prepare my SOP and SP documents. Hopefully, everything is going to be OK.
I will notify you of any updates regarding my application in the future.
Thank you again for your help.
 

Moh Alduais

Star Member
Apr 1, 2021
98
19
Would take out that you considered studies in the US, UK, Australia, etc. You essentially can replace the word study with immigration. You need to address why your studies in Canada are required and how your studies in Canada will lead to employment opportunities in your home country. Will you still be able to work in KSA when you graduate? What if your father is no longer working in KSA? Would also consider the state of the oil and gas industry in Canada. Getting a job in the industry may be very difficult.
Thank you for your help.
I agree with you about the first point, I will try to change it. With regard to the employment opportunities in my home country, I can't mention it since my country is in civil war since 2011, and there are no opportunities there. However, I received an offer from a very reputable company in Saudi Arabia and they are willing to employ me after I finish my master's. Yes, I can work in Saudi Arabia while my father renews my immigration status. Well, my father is well established in the company, he has been working there for almost 20 years. I did not understand your point on the state of the oil and gas industry. My profession is not directly related to the oil and gas industry. Structural engineers are responsible for designing and analyzing various types of structures starting from residential homes to high-rise buildings.
Thank you again for your time and effort, your points were very helpful and definitely I will consider them during writing my new SOP.
 

StruggleHard

Full Member
Sep 10, 2021
26
12
@StruggleHard
Thank you for your time and effort in checking my SOP.
I will note all the things that you mentioned, and I agree with you on most of the points.
I will spend more time re-writing my SOP taking into consideration your points.
I still have time to prepare my SOP and SP documents. Hopefully, everything is going to be OK.
I will notify you of any updates regarding my application in the future.
Thank you again for your help.
you are always welcome. you can reach me out for any help required.

Good Luck
 
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