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knavpreet

Star Member
Aug 24, 2020
110
12
Can you tell us what was the reasons for the refusal?
Can you tell us what was the reasons for the refusal?
I am not satisfied that you will leave Canada at the end of your stay, as stipulated in subsection 216(1) of the IRPR, based on the purpose of your visit.

• Given the applicant's previous education and/or employment history, I am not satisfied that the motivation to pursue this particular program at this point in time in Canada is reasonable. Refused under R216(1)(b).
You are welcome to reapply if you feel that you can respond to these concerns and can demonstrate that your situation meets the requirements. All new applications must be accompanied by a new processing fee.
 

knavpreet

Star Member
Aug 24, 2020
110
12
So just because they did does not mean your will. You say you are starting your own healthcare organization. Focus on how knowing about the Canadian and Ontario healthcare system will help you.
kindly help me in improving sop if u can
 

jweekend

Champion Member
Dec 13, 2019
1,280
224
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

To acquaint myself, I ………. an inhabitant of Punjab, India. I passed Matriculation with 78% and Senior Secondary with 65%. Thereupon, I got enrolled myself in Himachal Pradesh university and completed my Bachelors of Dental Surgery in first attempt. Along with working as a dentist, I appeared for IELTS test and scored overall 6.5 bands ( R -6.0, L-6.0, W -6.5 &S- 7.0).



After my Bachelors I got an opportunity to Work as a Dentist at four different clinics and hospitals. By constantly evolving in Dental healthcare system I now have the maturity to realize that dentistry itself is not enough to become an effective healthcare professional. So I decided to upgrade my knowledge in the healthcare sector through an international platform by opting Health Care Management program which focuses on management and leadership skills to assist healthcare professionals from various disciplines to meet the opportunities and challenges facing the healthcare sector today.

I believe this program will provide me necessary knowledge like:

  • Coordinate the planning, implementation, management and evaluation of team projects by applying project management, quality management and use of technology to support healthcare operations.
  • Contribute to the development, implementation, and evaluation of employee recruitment, selection, and retention plans and processes in both union and non-union environments.
  • Contribute to the strategic decision-making of a healthcare organization by applying basic strategic analysis and financial and human resources management concepts.

In India, the education system is still in the phase of development in this field of study with comparison to the international education system. I looked up for numerous colleges and universities for this course but the course structure and content could not arouse my interest and give me the push to pursue them. Moreover, after discussions with my seniors and professionals about this course, I found out that if I do this course from India it would not have the appropriate recognition as international education has. Another contributing factor which helped me to finalize my decision to study abroad and the choice of the institution is that studying in Canada would give me an international exposure and chance to build my confidence in a diverse culture. Along with the above said statements my struggle for job search and also making my own entity, this internationally recognized education would help me to flourish my identity leading to a secure and reliable career growth which I always have been seeking.

Minute scrutiny singled out Canada as the best from all perspectives since it is affordable, peaceful, welcoming, safe which makes it highly diverse, multicultural and above all, it is the real destination for high quality education . Since Canada is a bilingual country that reflects it as a country of two languages viz. English and French majorly, thus, I will be able to learn a new language as well. Further, the people and the surroundings of Canada are very favorable for the international students due to their kind nature. Concisely, Canada is the best place for a student to grasp the knowledge of his/her interests with globally recognized qualification. That is why I believe that Canada is the best option for me to fulfill my aspirations.


As a public college, established in Timmins in 1967, Northern College has a proven track record of delivering exceptional education and training to an average of 6,500 full and part-time students every year, including over 1,250 international students from more than 25 countries. The campus has beautifully treed grounds, a shallow, twisting river and a network of walking paths. It provides highly-trained instructors, smaller class sizes and a dynamic learning environment by offering practical, hands-on programs . This College has a comprehensive student mental health and well-being strategy and Awards approximately $150,000-$200,000 as entrance awards to first-year students. Moreover, Northern College will help me to acquire the necessary knowledge, right skills and certifications those are demanded by employers in this competitive era. Apart from it, Student’s global mindset will be expanded and English proficiency will be improved while studying at Northern College.

Qualification and experience gained from such an esteemed institution will open welcoming doors and broaden horizons for me to work and make my career in my home country.


After working for top leading healthcare organizations based in INDIA; such as Healthcare global enterprise LTD, Max healthcare institute LTD,Apollo hospitals and various other public as well private sectors, I will become a successful professional to fulfill my long term goal to setup my own healthcare organization in INDIA to make my parents proud and to serve the suffering mankind of my developing country.

I am confident that this program will prepare me for a challenging career in my field. I will be able to develop my skills and I wish the Visa Authority may find my candidature worth consideration and shall allow me an opportunity to achieve my dream to become a successful person.

I am thankful to you for taking out your valuable time in reading this Statement of Purpose. I will be looking forward to your positive response.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,
Terribly written.
 
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wonderbly

VIP Member
Aug 26, 2020
3,875
3,087
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

To acquaint myself, I ………. an inhabitant of Punjab, India. I passed Matriculation with 78% and Senior Secondary with 65%. Thereupon, I got enrolled myself in Himachal Pradesh university and completed my Bachelors of Dental Surgery in first attempt. Along with working as a dentist, I appeared for IELTS test and scored overall 6.5 bands ( R -6.0, L-6.0, W -6.5 &S- 7.0).



After my Bachelors I got an opportunity to Work as a Dentist at four different clinics and hospitals. By constantly evolving in Dental healthcare system I now have the maturity to realize that dentistry itself is not enough to become an effective healthcare professional. So I decided to upgrade my knowledge in the healthcare sector through an international platform by opting Health Care Management program which focuses on management and leadership skills to assist healthcare professionals from various disciplines to meet the opportunities and challenges facing the healthcare sector today.

I believe this program will provide me necessary knowledge like:

  • Coordinate the planning, implementation, management and evaluation of team projects by applying project management, quality management and use of technology to support healthcare operations.
  • Contribute to the development, implementation, and evaluation of employee recruitment, selection, and retention plans and processes in both union and non-union environments.
  • Contribute to the strategic decision-making of a healthcare organization by applying basic strategic analysis and financial and human resources management concepts.

In India, the education system is still in the phase of development in this field of study with comparison to the international education system. I looked up for numerous colleges and universities for this course but the course structure and content could not arouse my interest and give me the push to pursue them. Moreover, after discussions with my seniors and professionals about this course, I found out that if I do this course from India it would not have the appropriate recognition as international education has. Another contributing factor which helped me to finalize my decision to study abroad and the choice of the institution is that studying in Canada would give me an international exposure and chance to build my confidence in a diverse culture. Along with the above said statements my struggle for job search and also making my own entity, this internationally recognized education would help me to flourish my identity leading to a secure and reliable career growth which I always have been seeking.

Minute scrutiny singled out Canada as the best from all perspectives since it is affordable, peaceful, welcoming, safe which makes it highly diverse, multicultural and above all, it is the real destination for high quality education . Since Canada is a bilingual country that reflects it as a country of two languages viz. English and French majorly, thus, I will be able to learn a new language as well. Further, the people and the surroundings of Canada are very favorable for the international students due to their kind nature. Concisely, Canada is the best place for a student to grasp the knowledge of his/her interests with globally recognized qualification. That is why I believe that Canada is the best option for me to fulfill my aspirations.


As a public college, established in Timmins in 1967, Northern College has a proven track record of delivering exceptional education and training to an average of 6,500 full and part-time students every year, including over 1,250 international students from more than 25 countries. The campus has beautifully treed grounds, a shallow, twisting river and a network of walking paths. It provides highly-trained instructors, smaller class sizes and a dynamic learning environment by offering practical, hands-on programs . This College has a comprehensive student mental health and well-being strategy and Awards approximately $150,000-$200,000 as entrance awards to first-year students. Moreover, Northern College will help me to acquire the necessary knowledge, right skills and certifications those are demanded by employers in this competitive era. Apart from it, Student’s global mindset will be expanded and English proficiency will be improved while studying at Northern College.

Qualification and experience gained from such an esteemed institution will open welcoming doors and broaden horizons for me to work and make my career in my home country.


After working for top leading healthcare organizations based in INDIA; such as Healthcare global enterprise LTD, Max healthcare institute LTD,Apollo hospitals and various other public as well private sectors, I will become a successful professional to fulfill my long term goal to setup my own healthcare organization in INDIA to make my parents proud and to serve the suffering mankind of my developing country.

I am confident that this program will prepare me for a challenging career in my field. I will be able to develop my skills and I wish the Visa Authority may find my candidature worth consideration and shall allow me an opportunity to achieve my dream to become a successful person.

I am thankful to you for taking out your valuable time in reading this Statement of Purpose. I will be looking forward to your positive response.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,
To be honest, I stopped at "I acquaint myself.." Who talks or writes like that?

I don't usually agree with Jweekend, but this time I do. Write simply and honestly, not copy+paste a template.
 

knavpreet

Star Member
Aug 24, 2020
110
12
To be honest, I stopped at "I acquaint myself.." Who talks or writes like that?

I don't usually agree with Jweekend, but this time I do. Write simply and honestly, not copy+paste a template.
ok ...i am writing another one....will share that soon
 

Naturgrl

VIP Member
Apr 5, 2020
45,044
9,593
ok dear...that is why I am asking your suggestions to improve it as it was made by my agent
Apply for a masters or change programs related to dentistry. If not changing, you need to answer the below questions.

Doing a PG in Timmons will not open doors for you. You had a dentistry diploma and you applied for a PG in Health Care Management. Why? How will this Canadian program help your career. It will not as you should be doing a Master in Health Management or Dentistry. The program says it is focused on the Ontario and Canadian Healthcare systems. Again why will it help setting you your own healthcare organization. You talk about your career in India but then talk about learning French. Why do you need French in India? Are you trying to immigrate because you don’t have enough CRS points because that is what it seems.
 

knavpreet

Star Member
Aug 24, 2020
110
12
I am , an inhabitant of .............. India. I passed Matriculation with 78% and Senior Secondary with 65%. Thereupon, I got enrolled myself in Himachal Pradesh University and completed my Bachelors of Dental Surgery in the first attempt in 2013.

After my bachelor’s from himachal pradesh , I came back to my state (Punjab), where I got an opportunity to Work as a Dentist at four different clinics and hospitals. By constantly evolving in the Dental healthcare system I realized that dentistry itself is not enough to become an effective healthcare professional. So I decided to upgrade my knowledge in the healthcare sector through an international platform by opting Health Care Management program which focuses on management and leadership skills to assist healthcare professionals from various disciplines to meet the opportunities and challenges facing the healthcare sector today. Along with working as a dentist, I was also planning for further study in canada. So, I have given IELTS examination and scored an overall 6.5 bands. I have chosen 1 year post graduate program - ‘Health Care Management’ in Northern college.



I received Approval in Principle(AIP) on third september and I started online classes on 16 september because of my true intentions and my curiosity towards this canadian post graduate program.I continuously attended online classes without a single leave and appeared for first semester exams and scored 87% marks( I am attaching my mark sheet along with enrolment letter in my file). During semester one, I believed that this program will provide me the necessary knowledge to become a successful healthcare professional because I have learned various health care management skills during those six months of my online studies. After that, in the mid of second semester, I got the final decision on my application that my study visa is refused on the intentions of purpose of visit.Respected visa officer, I studied online even without deferring it to next intake ,so you can judge that my exact purpose of visit is only to acquire Canadian education and come back to my home country.



I wish to inform you that I do not have any intention whatsoever to overstay in Canada. After completion of my study in Canada, I plan to return to my home country where there a great potential and many opportunities for people having foreign education in my chosen field. You will appreciate that being a girl I am the beloved member of my family. . Further, I am leaving behind my Mother, Father in addition to many other close relatives. Therefore, I would not like to be separated from my parent’s family in India, by deciding to overstay in Canada.





Canada, as a country, is known for a supportive and nurturing learning environment that would make it easy for me to adjust to a completely new environment for the period of my studies. The programs offered by Canadian institutes carry huge magnitude and are highly valued across the globe.It has a well structured approach to education which is a valuable pre requisite for a good education system. Foundational principles and theories must be taught, but they are only mastered through practices, and as such Canada strongly reflects this teaching philosophy. The reason for writing this is because unfortunately in my country more emphasis is given on rote-learning and therefore India is lacking such specialists who have a thorough perception of the field. It is worldwide known fact that Canada has the best education system in the world. I firmly believe that studying in Canada and gaining an international credential from a prestigious college like northern college will be an instrumental step in achieving my future goals as well as my overall development.

That is why I believe that Canada is the best option for me to fulfill my aspirations.



I read about my colleges and received excellent reviews about Northern College (Pures Campus) by searching it on internet. This college stands at high ranking of 140 out of 370 in Canada. Even though, Northern college is considered to be a relatively younger institute compared to others, as it was established in 2007. I found that Northern College provides high-quality education that leads to a rewarding professional career and contributes to the betterment of society, this reflection was given to me by the students with whom I interacted on social media. Fast forward training, fast track learning, career targeted course content and experienced industry instructors are the four pillars of this institute. Student reviews and the institution’s goal are the factors that have helped me to finalize the choice of the institution from which I shall pursue further studies.

During my first semester studies,I found that the course curriculum at Northern College at Pures is very interesting and the staff is highly educated and more cooperate to all the students.. Now, after attending online classes for the first semester, I have studied 6 subjects such as,

1. Introduction to Patient Care 2. Medical Terminology

3. Introduction to Patient Safety 4. Healthcare Management

5. Professionalism and Ethics 6. Communication in Healthcare I

I will also go through six other interesting subjects in my second semester studies like-

1. Communications II 2. Healthcare IT Systems

3. Quality and Safety In Healthcare 4. Appreciative Leadership

5. Healthcare and Cultural Competence 6. Final Project



As many of my friends and seniors have joined different organizations and hospitals in my home country after completion of Health Care Management Studies from Canadian colleges and universities. They have a bright future in this competitive era. So, After completion of my studies, I will come back to my hometown as I have earlier moved from Himachal to Punjab after completing my bachelor’s degree.In my country, firstly I will work at managerial level or business level for top leading healthcare organizations based in INDIA; such as Healthcare global enterprise LTD, Max healthcare institute LTD, Apollo hospitals, and various other public and private sectors.After working for such sectors,eventually one day, I will become a successful professional to fulfill my long term goal to set up my own healthcare organization in INDIA to make my parents proud and I will serve the suffering mankind of my developing country by working at a top level , that is, corporate level ,in my own organizaion.



I believe that postgraduate study at Northern College with its high quality facilities will prepare me for a challenging career in my field. I will be able to develop my skills and I wish the Visa Authority may find my candidature worth consideration and shall allow me an opportunity to achieve my dream to become a successful person.

I am thankful to you for taking out your valuable time in reading this Statement of Purpose. I will be looking forward to get your positive response.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,
 
Last edited:

knavpreet

Star Member
Aug 24, 2020
110
12
Apply for a masters or change programs related to dentistry. If not changing, you need to answer the below questions.

Doing a PG in Timmons will not open doors for you. You had a dentistry diploma and you applied for a PG in Health Care Management. Why? How will this Canadian program help your career. It will not as you should be doing a Master in Health Management or Dentistry. The program says it is focused on the Ontario and Canadian Healthcare systems. Again why will it help setting you your own healthcare organization. You talk about your career in India but then talk about learning French. Why do you need French in India? Are you trying to immigrate because you don’t have enough CRS points because that is what it seems.
that sop was made by agent.kindly check the edited one.
and I attended online classes, in my batch out of 60 students 36 were dentists who are moving to Canada soon
 

Naturgrl

VIP Member
Apr 5, 2020
45,044
9,593
that sop was made by agent.kindly check the edited one.
and I attended online classes, in my batch out of 60 students 36 were dentists who are moving to Canada soon
SOP is all over the map. You don't need to include the course content. In your first SOP, you were attending the Timmons campus and now you are going to the Pures campus. Northern College was established in 1967. The Pures Campus which is in Toronto and caters to international students was established in 2017. Visa officers know this campus is for international students. You name healthcare organizations - do you have a job offer? Don't bold INDIA all the time. Don't compare your profile to others.
 
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Laguna55

Hero Member
Jul 19, 2020
399
132
What do you mean by "I realized that dentistry itself is not enough to become an effective healthcare professional".... so you not planning to continue practising dentistry when you return to India? And all these dentists moving to Canada, are they planning to practice that profession there or do something else?