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Have a look at my sop

Jaskler

Member
Feb 27, 2019
14
0
Statement of Purpose



INTRODUCTION:

I would like to have an opportunity to introduce myself as Jaskirat Singh Kler bearing passport number R7893681. I was born on 14-07-1995 in Karnal situated in Haryana, India. It is a great moment for me while submitting this application for a study permit as I am accepted to study post-graduate diploma in-Process Quality Engineering in Conestoga College, Guelph campus, Ontario, Canada.

My Academic profile:


I completed my Higher Secondary and Senior Secondary School from Guru Harkrishan Public School, Karnal, in which I scored 7.4 CGPA and 63% respectively. During my two years of intermediate education, I draw my interest in mechanics and it, therefore, led me to pursue a Bachelor of Technology degree in Mechanical Engineering from R.P. Inderaprastha Institute of Technology which is affiliated to Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra. It was a great learning experience for me to study Mechanical Engineering in an institution that has always helped his students by providing every kind of support. I graduated in May 2018 with an aggravated percentage of 66% and later on I appeared for the IELTS test in which I scored overall 7 bands (listening: 7, Reading: 6.5, Writing: 6.5 and in Speaking: 7).

As an engineer, a person has not only to be versatile and well trained but also have practical knowledge of the concepts learned in the classroom so that to stand out in the race. I always paid more attention in acquiring practical and interdisciplinary knowledge of mechanical discipline which has certainly helped me land an opportunity to work as a summer intern in BHARAT ELECTRONICS LTD. a public sector company which works for the ministry of defense and I worked there in manufacturing and quality department of the company. This was a big accomplishment for me as I was the only candidate form my college whose name was recommended for the internship.

In my final year project, I got an opportunity to use all my skills and knowledge when I along with my other team members were successful in developing a “hybrid vehicle” which works on the idea of the regenerative energy system by keeping all the cost parameters under limits to cater the demand of Indian public.

I have also helped my college authorities in successfully organizing two days of national workshop on Internal Combustion Engine. As I have good soft and presentation skills I worked as a workshop coordinator in it.

My decent spoken skills have also helped to bag a job opportunity in WESTERN OVERSEAS PVT LTD, where I worked as an English Language Trainer from May 2019 to January 2020.

Despite working, I always thought to get a specialized degree in Mechanical engineering because I know that it can help me to build a successful career. Pursuing further education in a specific field of study will help me to master my area of interest, can enhance the chances of my future employability, knowledge, confidence, and competency

Why I choose Canada over other countries:

There are plenty of options available for me to choose from, but the reason why I am choosing Canada is just because of the quality of education and a relaxed study environment it offers to its students. There is also no denying the fact that Canadian universities are counted among the top 10 universities in the world. Not only universities but also colleges in the various provinces have a long history of reputation in terms of academic performance and high graduate employability.

Furthermore, the affordable cost of study and living, and globally recognized degrees offered by Canadian institutions, which are highly valuable in the international job market, grab my attention to pursue my further studies there. I also believe that studying in such multicultural institutions of Canada with people from a diverse background will help me to grow my professional skills. I believe that this will put me on the path of success.

Why Process Quality Engineering and Conestoga College:

Throughout my course of undergraduate studies of mechanical engineering, one field of study which always enticed me is quality engineering. Consumers of the products in recent years have adopted divergent views regarding product quality and I think that the quality of the produced goods is more important than making a well-manufactured product.

After studying quality control and reliability subject in the final year of my engineering I decided to start my career as a quality assurance engineer in my country. But, before that, I need to do a specialized field of study. Through graduate certificate in the Process Quality Engineering course offered by Conestoga College, I will get to learn some important subjects like lean six sigma, applied statistical techniques, data analytics for quality and advanced design of experiments.

I see myself learning several skills by learning these subjects. Consequently, such skills will enable me to apply my knowledge and practical procedure learned from the course to the manufacturing process and materials as well as on the effective delivery of products and services.

PQE course which I am going to pursue is offered by only a few colleges in Canada and Conestoga College is one among them. Being a reputed and best college to study in Ontario province Conestoga is highly valued by students, graduates, and employers for the quality of education it offers. Moreover, I choose Conestoga due to its affordable fee structure and industrial tie-ups this college has with companies to offer first-hand industrial experience to its proposed students so that they can get ready to work in the industry.

My future goals:

As I complete this program I will be able to understand the role of modern quality techniques in creating value in an organization and will able to apply proper methods and procedures to solve problems and enhance the productivity of goods and products.

Being equipped with all such skills I will come back to my country and will look for employment opportunities in various sectors: manufacturing, automobile, heavy metal, and service industry. India has an emerging economy and many new companies are setting up their industrial units and new options are awaiting for those deserving candidates who have proper skills. Gaining international exposure and knowledge by studying in a foreign country, will help me to land a job in big Indian manufacturing companies like TATA Motors, Reliance Industries, Jindal Steel, Maruti India, ONGC and Bureau of Indian Standards for a starting salary of 27-35,000 INR. I do believe that studying in an international institution will help to strengthen my curriculum vitae and my skill set will be highly valued by the employers of my home country.

I also aspire to join my fathers' woodworking business in the future and would like to use my learning and knowledge into it, which would enable me to fulfill my ultimate dream of running my own business.

Hence I have decided to complete this course with the full commitment that would willingly involve personal sacrifice of time and hard work.



Jaskirat Singh Kler


 

Impatient Dankaroo

VIP Member
Jan 10, 2020
4,382
2,671
Question: Is this for your first application? Or have you been refused in the past?

Also, get rid of the bold text. There is just too much bold in there. In formal letter writing, that would be unacceptable and an eyesore. If there are key facts that you want to highlight then do so but not in the amount that you have done.
 

scylla

VIP Member
Jun 8, 2010
95,938
22,177
Toronto
Category........
Visa Office......
Buffalo
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
28-05-2010
AOR Received.
19-08-2010
File Transfer...
28-06-2010
Passport Req..
01-10-2010
VISA ISSUED...
05-10-2010
LANDED..........
05-10-2010
Statement of Purpose



INTRODUCTION:

I would like to have an opportunity to introduce myself as Jaskirat Singh Kler bearing passport number R7893681. I was born on 14-07-1995 in Karnal situated in Haryana, India. It is a great moment for me while submitting this application for a study permit as I am accepted to study post-graduate diploma in-Process Quality Engineering in Conestoga College, Guelph campus, Ontario, Canada.

My Academic profile:


I completed my Higher Secondary and Senior Secondary School from Guru Harkrishan Public School, Karnal, in which I scored 7.4 CGPA and 63% respectively. During my two years of intermediate education, I draw my interest in mechanics and it, therefore, led me to pursue a Bachelor of Technology degree in Mechanical Engineering from R.P. Inderaprastha Institute of Technology which is affiliated to Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra. It was a great learning experience for me to study Mechanical Engineering in an institution that has always helped his students by providing every kind of support. I graduated in May 2018 with an aggravated percentage of 66% and later on I appeared for the IELTS test in which I scored overall 7 bands (listening: 7, Reading: 6.5, Writing: 6.5 and in Speaking: 7).

As an engineer, a person has not only to be versatile and well trained but also have practical knowledge of the concepts learned in the classroom so that to stand out in the race. I always paid more attention in acquiring practical and interdisciplinary knowledge of mechanical discipline which has certainly helped me land an opportunity to work as a summer intern in BHARAT ELECTRONICS LTD. a public sector company which works for the ministry of defense and I worked there in manufacturing and quality department of the company. This was a big accomplishment for me as I was the only candidate form my college whose name was recommended for the internship.

In my final year project, I got an opportunity to use all my skills and knowledge when I along with my other team members were successful in developing a “hybrid vehicle” which works on the idea of the regenerative energy system by keeping all the cost parameters under limits to cater the demand of Indian public.

I have also helped my college authorities in successfully organizing two days of national workshop on Internal Combustion Engine. As I have good soft and presentation skills I worked as a workshop coordinator in it.

My decent spoken skills have also helped to bag a job opportunity in WESTERN OVERSEAS PVT LTD, where I worked as an English Language Trainer from May 2019 to January 2020.

Despite working, I always thought to get a specialized degree in Mechanical engineering because I know that it can help me to build a successful career. Pursuing further education in a specific field of study will help me to master my area of interest, can enhance the chances of my future employability, knowledge, confidence, and competency

Why I choose Canada over other countries:

There are plenty of options available for me to choose from, but the reason why I am choosing Canada is just because of the quality of education and a relaxed study environment it offers to its students. There is also no denying the fact that Canadian universities are counted among the top 10 universities in the world. Not only universities but also colleges in the various provinces have a long history of reputation in terms of academic performance and high graduate employability.

Furthermore, the affordable cost of study and living, and globally recognized degrees offered by Canadian institutions, which are highly valuable in the international job market, grab my attention to pursue my further studies there. I also believe that studying in such multicultural institutions of Canada with people from a diverse background will help me to grow my professional skills. I believe that this will put me on the path of success.

Why Process Quality Engineering and Conestoga College:

Throughout my course of undergraduate studies of mechanical engineering, one field of study which always enticed me is quality engineering. Consumers of the products in recent years have adopted divergent views regarding product quality and I think that the quality of the produced goods is more important than making a well-manufactured product.

After studying quality control and reliability subject in the final year of my engineering I decided to start my career as a quality assurance engineer in my country. But, before that, I need to do a specialized field of study. Through graduate certificate in the Process Quality Engineering course offered by Conestoga College, I will get to learn some important subjects like lean six sigma, applied statistical techniques, data analytics for quality and advanced design of experiments.

I see myself learning several skills by learning these subjects. Consequently, such skills will enable me to apply my knowledge and practical procedure learned from the course to the manufacturing process and materials as well as on the effective delivery of products and services.

PQE course which I am going to pursue is offered by only a few colleges in Canada and Conestoga College is one among them. Being a reputed and best college to study in Ontario province Conestoga is highly valued by students, graduates, and employers for the quality of education it offers. Moreover, I choose Conestoga due to its affordable fee structure and industrial tie-ups this college has with companies to offer first-hand industrial experience to its proposed students so that they can get ready to work in the industry.

My future goals:

As I complete this program I will be able to understand the role of modern quality techniques in creating value in an organization and will able to apply proper methods and procedures to solve problems and enhance the productivity of goods and products.

Being equipped with all such skills I will come back to my country and will look for employment opportunities in various sectors: manufacturing, automobile, heavy metal, and service industry. India has an emerging economy and many new companies are setting up their industrial units and new options are awaiting for those deserving candidates who have proper skills. Gaining international exposure and knowledge by studying in a foreign country, will help me to land a job in big Indian manufacturing companies like TATA Motors, Reliance Industries, Jindal Steel, Maruti India, ONGC and Bureau of Indian Standards for a starting salary of 27-35,000 INR. I do believe that studying in an international institution will help to strengthen my curriculum vitae and my skill set will be highly valued by the employers of my home country.

I also aspire to join my fathers' woodworking business in the future and would like to use my learning and knowledge into it, which would enable me to fulfill my ultimate dream of running my own business.

Hence I have decided to complete this course with the full commitment that would willingly involve personal sacrifice of time and hard work.



Jaskirat Singh Kler


Agreed with the above. This looks like a template where you just filled in the blanks. If that's the case, write your own letter - do not use the template.
 

Jaskler

Member
Feb 27, 2019
14
0
Question: Is this for your first application? Or have you been refused in the past?

Also, get rid of the bold text. There is just too much bold in there. In formal letter writing, that would be unacceptable and an eyesore. If there are key facts that you want to highlight then do so but not in the amount that you have done.
Yeah this is my first application

I wrote this after doing a bit of research. SOP must be emotionally connective with a person who reads it.
Forget about the bold part, tell me is their weak point in the letter?
 

Jaskler

Member
Feb 27, 2019
14
0
Agreed with the above. This looks like a template where you just filled in the blanks. If that's the case, write your own letter - do not use the template.
There is nothing like that I have used any template, I wrote this after browsing several website, reading hundred of comments and after going through many sop's
I've just highlighted the important I formation by doing bold.

What are negatives in sop?
 

Jaskler

Member
Feb 27, 2019
14
0
If you did use a template start again. CIC will have seen the exact letter before.
I couldn't understand that why it tools like template to you guys neither I used any template nor I have copy and paste from somewhere in my sop.
Every single word is hand typed by my own, I did a quite a bit of research before writing it and I also know embassy can figure out the original sop as compared to copy paste one.
I've done words "bold" just to marke that the information is essential and important to read.
You guys have just read 1 paragraph and saying this is template please go through the important paragraphs: why canada; why particular course; why particular college; and future goals
 

jweekend

Champion Member
Dec 13, 2019
1,280
224
I couldn't understand that why it tools like template to you guys neither I used any template nor I have copy and paste from somewhere in my sop.
Every single word is hand typed by my own, I did a quite a bit of research before writing it and I also know embassy can figure out the original sop as compared to copy paste one.
I've done words "bold" just to marke that the information is essential and important to read.
You guys have just read 1 paragraph and saying this is template please go through the important paragraphs: why canada; why particular course; why particular college; and future goals
Thousands and thousands of people have written the same generic template sop as you, same phrases, same sentences, same keywords. The visa officers have seen these kind of sop many many times. Its non-genuine and only shows how desperate you are, and not complying to immigration regulations.

No one who reads this letter and will go "ah, I believe this guy". You've just copied and pasted phrases and paragraphs you read on the internet and change a few words here and there. Its not going to fool any native english reader. Even the phrases you copied are strange and weird, sentences are all ill-constructed and no logic to it.

Just by google you can find dozens of essays with the exact writing style and phrases.
 

Jaskler

Member
Feb 27, 2019
14
0
Thousands and thousands of people have written the same generic template sop as you, same phrases, same sentences, same keywords. The visa officers have seen these kind of sop many many times. Its non-genuine and only shows how desperate you are, and not complying to immigration regulations.

No one who reads this letter and will go "ah, I believe this guy". You've just copied and pasted phrases and paragraphs you read on the internet and change a few words here and there. Its not going to fool any native english reader. Even the phrases you copied are strange and weird, sentences are all ill-constructed and no logic to it.

Just by google you can find dozens of essays with the exact writing style and phrases.
What should I do than according to you guys than
Rewrite and edit the complete the complete document?
 

GMP97

Hero Member
Jun 25, 2019
858
120
27
Pakistan, Karachi
Category........
STUDY
Visa Office......
Abu Dhabi
App. Filed.......
22-11-2019
Passport Req..
19-12-2019
VISA ISSUED...
23/12/2019
LANDED..........
25/12/2019
What should I do than according to you guys than
Rewrite and edit the complete the complete document?
For starter look at Templates for format dont copy and paste keep the essentials your work history educational history etc but change the wording not this generic wording i know someone whose visa was rejected during her interview because of very general SOP spend time writing this its the document that matters the most
 

Wages

Hero Member
Feb 19, 2020
211
12
Statement of Purpose



INTRODUCTION:

I would like to have an opportunity to introduce myself as Jaskirat Singh Kler bearing passport number R7893681. I was born on 14-07-1995 in Karnal situated in Haryana, India. It is a great moment for me while submitting this application for a study permit as I am accepted to study post-graduate diploma in-Process Quality Engineering in Conestoga College, Guelph campus, Ontario, Canada.

My Academic profile:


I completed my Higher Secondary and Senior Secondary School from Guru Harkrishan Public School, Karnal, in which I scored 7.4 CGPA and 63% respectively. During my two years of intermediate education, I draw my interest in mechanics and it, therefore, led me to pursue a Bachelor of Technology degree in Mechanical Engineering from R.P. Inderaprastha Institute of Technology which is affiliated to Kurukshetra University, Kurukshetra. It was a great learning experience for me to study Mechanical Engineering in an institution that has always helped his students by providing every kind of support. I graduated in May 2018 with an aggravated percentage of 66% and later on I appeared for the IELTS test in which I scored overall 7 bands (listening: 7, Reading: 6.5, Writing: 6.5 and in Speaking: 7).

As an engineer, a person has not only to be versatile and well trained but also have practical knowledge of the concepts learned in the classroom so that to stand out in the race. I always paid more attention in acquiring practical and interdisciplinary knowledge of mechanical discipline which has certainly helped me land an opportunity to work as a summer intern in BHARAT ELECTRONICS LTD. a public sector company which works for the ministry of defense and I worked there in manufacturing and quality department of the company. This was a big accomplishment for me as I was the only candidate form my college whose name was recommended for the internship.

In my final year project, I got an opportunity to use all my skills and knowledge when I along with my other team members were successful in developing a “hybrid vehicle” which works on the idea of the regenerative energy system by keeping all the cost parameters under limits to cater the demand of Indian public.

I have also helped my college authorities in successfully organizing two days of national workshop on Internal Combustion Engine. As I have good soft and presentation skills I worked as a workshop coordinator in it.

My decent spoken skills have also helped to bag a job opportunity in WESTERN OVERSEAS PVT LTD, where I worked as an English Language Trainer from May 2019 to January 2020.

Despite working, I always thought to get a specialized degree in Mechanical engineering because I know that it can help me to build a successful career. Pursuing further education in a specific field of study will help me to master my area of interest, can enhance the chances of my future employability, knowledge, confidence, and competency

Why I choose Canada over other countries:

There are plenty of options available for me to choose from, but the reason why I am choosing Canada is just because of the quality of education and a relaxed study environment it offers to its students. There is also no denying the fact that Canadian universities are counted among the top 10 universities in the world. Not only universities but also colleges in the various provinces have a long history of reputation in terms of academic performance and high graduate employability.

Furthermore, the affordable cost of study and living, and globally recognized degrees offered by Canadian institutions, which are highly valuable in the international job market, grab my attention to pursue my further studies there. I also believe that studying in such multicultural institutions of Canada with people from a diverse background will help me to grow my professional skills. I believe that this will put me on the path of success.

Why Process Quality Engineering and Conestoga College:

Throughout my course of undergraduate studies of mechanical engineering, one field of study which always enticed me is quality engineering. Consumers of the products in recent years have adopted divergent views regarding product quality and I think that the quality of the produced goods is more important than making a well-manufactured product.

After studying quality control and reliability subject in the final year of my engineering I decided to start my career as a quality assurance engineer in my country. But, before that, I need to do a specialized field of study. Through graduate certificate in the Process Quality Engineering course offered by Conestoga College, I will get to learn some important subjects like lean six sigma, applied statistical techniques, data analytics for quality and advanced design of experiments.

I see myself learning several skills by learning these subjects. Consequently, such skills will enable me to apply my knowledge and practical procedure learned from the course to the manufacturing process and materials as well as on the effective delivery of products and services.

PQE course which I am going to pursue is offered by only a few colleges in Canada and Conestoga College is one among them. Being a reputed and best college to study in Ontario province Conestoga is highly valued by students, graduates, and employers for the quality of education it offers. Moreover, I choose Conestoga due to its affordable fee structure and industrial tie-ups this college has with companies to offer first-hand industrial experience to its proposed students so that they can get ready to work in the industry.

My future goals:

As I complete this program I will be able to understand the role of modern quality techniques in creating value in an organization and will able to apply proper methods and procedures to solve problems and enhance the productivity of goods and products.

Being equipped with all such skills I will come back to my country and will look for employment opportunities in various sectors: manufacturing, automobile, heavy metal, and service industry. India has an emerging economy and many new companies are setting up their industrial units and new options are awaiting for those deserving candidates who have proper skills. Gaining international exposure and knowledge by studying in a foreign country, will help me to land a job in big Indian manufacturing companies like TATA Motors, Reliance Industries, Jindal Steel, Maruti India, ONGC and Bureau of Indian Standards for a starting salary of 27-35,000 INR. I do believe that studying in an international institution will help to strengthen my curriculum vitae and my skill set will be highly valued by the employers of my home country.

I also aspire to join my fathers' woodworking business in the future and would like to use my learning and knowledge into it, which would enable me to fulfill my ultimate dream of running my own business.

Hence I have decided to complete this course with the full commitment that would willingly involve personal sacrifice of time and hard work.



Jaskirat Singh Kler


It’s fine but this looks like a “copy and paste” sop and you can see right through it. Also, I’d advise taking the highlights off and the headings to each paragraphs too. It has to flow naturally while connecting your dots. Also, I didn’t really see much of your ties in the sop; such as immediate family, property or business, duties to community etc. overall I’d rate it 60% on a 100% scale
 

Wages

Hero Member
Feb 19, 2020
211
12
It’s fine but this looks like a “copy and paste” sop and you can see right through it. Also, I’d advise taking the highlights off and the headings to each paragraphs too. It has to flow naturally while connecting your dots. Also, I didn’t really see much of your ties in the sop; such as immediate family, property or business, duties to community etc. overall I’d rate it 60% on a 100% scale
Also since you claim an interest in the said program, it would be best to add the courses you read at undergraduate level that spiked that interest even further, show how it’s effective in your home country ,amongst others
 

scylla

VIP Member
Jun 8, 2010
95,938
22,177
Toronto
Category........
Visa Office......
Buffalo
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
28-05-2010
AOR Received.
19-08-2010
File Transfer...
28-06-2010
Passport Req..
01-10-2010
VISA ISSUED...
05-10-2010
LANDED..........
05-10-2010
I couldn't understand that why it tools like template to you guys neither I used any template nor I have copy and paste from somewhere in my sop.
Every single word is hand typed by my own, I did a quite a bit of research before writing it and I also know embassy can figure out the original sop as compared to copy paste one.
I've done words "bold" just to marke that the information is essential and important to read.
You guys have just read 1 paragraph and saying this is template please go through the important paragraphs: why canada; why particular course; why particular college; and future goals
I read the whole letter previously. I'm sorry - it readss like a template. Bolding certain sections makes it even look more like a template.

I would rewrite it. Make it shorter at least by half. Don't look at temples / examples on the web.