@cansha,
Seek your expert feedback on this essay, please. It was done within the 40 min time-frame.
Length: 270 words
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
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An increasing number of tourists have now started exploring challenging destinations like Sahara desert and the Antarctic.
While there are many pros to such experiences, one needs to be mindful of the cons too.
The biggest advantage of such trips is the sheer thrill that can get the adrenaline rushing. ( How and what this rush will achieve ?)
Visiting places with extreme climatic conditions helps one experience nature at its very extreme and such an experience can make one more adaptable. ( How ?? )
Besides, as it offers a completely contrasting experience to our mundane lives, it can get us recharged with a completely fresh approach.
Exploring such unchartered territories also provides an opportunity to gain life skills from an exciting experience. ( How ?? )
Such dangerous adventures have some perils too. (which are those ?)
If one has not researched enough before planning the trip, one might be in for some unpleasant surprises. (which are those ?)
A lot of times when you are at the mercy of nature, it could get extremely risky. ( How ?? )
What if the experience leads to life-threatening repercussions? ( How ?? )
One needs to take into consideration every little health condition before setting-out for such testing experiences. ( How ?? )
Despite all preparations, the situation might go out of hand. ( How ?? )
Hence, medical assistance must be handy.
Also, children and senior-citizens must be either kept away from such situations or venture into them with appropriate precautions.
here you are giving a solution, precaution, question just asking disadvantages
Every trip brings with it a whole lot of learning.
On top of it, if it is an adventurous rendezvous like this ( where ?? ), it tests your limits to the very best.( How ?? )
It is (which one ?? ) a must-have experience.
Having said that, people need to make sure that they are well-guided and well-guarded before setting out on every such uncommon adventure.
IELTS is going to punish you with 6 to 6.5 bands.
you are talking alot, english is good.
but Task Achievement is severely affected.
you can say, what is this bullshit ?, right ?
it is non conclusive talk, intangible, where is your example,
BP2:
general statement
One of the major disadvantage of such remote places is the lack of adequate emergency health facilities.
explanation
In extreme weather situations of the Sahara or the Antarctic, one can easily fall sick, and without proper medical attention common conditions such as dehydration can lead to life threatening situations.
example - fake one
In a recent report, authorities concluded that 80% deaths of inexperienced tourists caused by lack in proper preparation of basic necessities such as water, and along with one to seek thrill on unexplored trails which cause them to loose their way back and delay in the required medical treatment.
Conclusion: link back to general statement
Lack of knowledge and delayed treatment could result in unfortunate deaths of tourists which is the darkest side of the adrenaline rush (thrill) seeking activities.
121 words, more than enough
I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye is a better pupil, more willing than the ear;
Fine counsel is confusing, but example is always clear,
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see a good put in action is what everybody needs.
go and read thisI soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advise you give,
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
http://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=2270