Speaking the truth isn’t judging. It’s just fact. Saying the OP past history is not a concern is naive. Of course it’s relevent. Criminality, misrepresentation, previous immigration attempts are all a part of determining eligibility. You should probably read a few of the op manuals to gain a better picture and intelligent advice, rather than offering your rose coloured view of the process. Had the OP been approved, you can bet there would be no comments about it being unfair.
Did the op include his deportation on his application?
How quickly did he marry after his divorce?
Did he apply for status through his previous wife?
He already stated he had been deported and was obviously aware his application would be scrutinized. He should have been prepared specifically for that line of questioning. As pointed out, it’s not a casual conversation, it’s an interview to decide your eligibility and should be treated as such. Complaining it’s unfair, due to lack of preparation (read your original post, you cover the topic very well). Isn’t justified. It’s just making more work and adding additional costs.