Can my mother and stepfather deport me?

[Tmacd252]

Hello, I'm so sorry if this is in the wrong section.

I'm wanting to know if my mother and step father can deport me? I've been a PR for a few years, I can't remember exactly for how long. I told my mother that I wanted to try moving out with some friends and she threw a fit at me. It got to the point to where she threw me out and she's trying to force me back home. She's trying to threaten me with deporting me out of the country if I don't come back. I'm 18 almost 19 years old and I didn't think she could do that. My step father sponsored us here in order to become PR and he's threatening not to sponsor me anymore. They tell me that because of that, they can deport me out of the country even though I didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to try moving in with some friends and my mother is making it worse. I'm really scared about all this and I haven't been able to sleep because of it. My mother has manipulated me over and over with this. She won't let me have my clothes or anything so I would have to call the police in order to get my belongings. I'm desperate for help, I'm not knowledgeable with how this process works. I was only 14 or 15 when I moved to Canada and became a PR.

Thank you

 

[scylla]

No - they can't deport you.

She is trying to manipulate you and lying to you. She does not have the power to deport you.

It doesn't matter who sponsored you - neither your mother nor your step father can deport you.

Your PR status is safe.

 

[Tmacd252]

Thank you so much, she's trying to get my brother to say that they can deport me too and that he has read up on it and that they can. Everything that I looked at suggested that they can not, I just wanted to be extra sure that they can not. I feel awful that she is trying to manipulate me and trying to get me to leave the country, I guess she will come around eventually.

 

[scylla]

Tell your mother and brother to point to the specific place on the official CIC web site that says they can deport you. If there is a rule that says they can deport you, it will have to be listed somewhere on this web site. Information found on any other web site is not official and useless. Tell them they have to give you the specific link and the specific quote on this web site that says they can deport you.

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/index.asp

Next - tell them they won't be able to find this rule anywhere because it doesn't exist. Tell them to leave you alone and stop lying to you because you know the truth. They have no power over you from a PR perspective. Your PR status is yours to keep.

Next, call the following confidential kids phone help line and tell them you are in a situation where you are being emotionally abused and threatened by your parents. They can help you decide what to do next. All calls are confidential.

http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/teens/home/splash.aspx

 

[MantisToboggan]

My mother emotionally abused me this way as a child as well. You're not alone. A group that really helped me is the "raisedbynarcissists" sub of Reddit. There are a lot of people on there who can offer advice as well. I can't post a direct link yet, but search Google for raisedbynarcissists and you'll find it. One of the best things you can do is get yourself out of that situation, as you clearly are trying to do.

 

[Tmacd252]

Thank you so much for the information and links. So I shouldn't have anything to worry about?

 

[scylla]

Thank you so much for the information and links. So I shouldn't have anything to worry about?

You have nothing to worry about. Tell your mother you know the truth and know she is lying to you. Feel free to call the police if you need their help to get your belongings. No one is going to deport you.

 

[Tmacd252]

Thank you, I remember them saying that in my case that it's different and that they can. The told me that I am a PR so I don't see how that is any different

 

[MantisToboggan]

Thank you, I remember them saying that in my case that it's different and that they can. The told me that I am a PR so I don't see how that is any different

They'll say anything they can think of when you show signs that you are thinking independently. It comes out of pure desperation. Don't fall for it.

I was moved to the US when I was pretty young. Leaving Canada made me feel very isolated and then my mother went further and decided to homeschool me. She destroyed my confidence and pushed me to pursue a career in a field I didn't like because it's what my dad did and she convinced me that being hired by him was the only way I would get work. Whenever I talked about wanting to move back to Canada she would tell me I wouldn't be able to survive, make money, afford the cost of living, whatever. The reality was that if I went back to Canada, she knew she would no longer be able to control me.

I stopped communicating with my mother about 2.5 years ago and since then I've left the career I hated and gone back to school. This year I was awarded the only merit scholarship my college's Geography department gives out. I've applied to UBC and have been told by them that I have an excellent chance to get in. My girlfriend and I are moving to Canada next year (assuming CIC approves our application in a timely fashion) and we will finally be completely in charge of our own lives.

Legally, you have nothing to worry about. Emotionally, it will be difficult, but very important, to make your own way. You can do it.

 

[Tmacd252]

Thank you for that, it is hard emotionally. It all happened within a week and I guess I'm still in shock.

 

[MantisToboggan]

Thank you for that, it is hard emotionally. It all happened within a week and I guess I'm still in shock.

You're going through a lot but you're showing maturity far beyond your years. Just by coming here and asking questions and taking control of your fate, you are ensuring your own safety. You are arming yourself with information.

Please feel free to PM me if there's anything I can help you with. We're all in this world together.

 

[truesmile]

Scylla makes a good point in retrieving your belongings. Make SURE they give you your PR card, it belongs to you!

 

[Awesomeg]

Hello, I'm so sorry if this is in the wrong section.

I'm wanting to know if my mother and step father can deport me? I've been a PR for a few years, I can't remember exactly for how long. I told my mother that I wanted to try moving out with some friends and she threw a fit at me. It got to the point to where she threw me out and she's trying to force me back home. She's trying to threaten me with deporting me out of the country if I don't come back. I'm 18 almost 19 years old and I didn't think she could do that. My step father sponsored us here in order to become PR and he's threatening not to sponsor me anymore. They tell me that because of that, they can deport me out of the country even though I didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to try moving in with some friends and my mother is making it worse. I'm really scared about all this and I haven't been able to sleep because of it. My mother has manipulated me over and over with this. She won't let me have my clothes or anything so I would have to call the police in order to get my belongings. I'm desperate for help, I'm not knowledgeable with how this process works. I was only 14 or 15 when I moved to Canada and became a PR.

Thank you

Don't forget something,
that you may not understand what is behind what they are saying now... but I believe that is love,
The best moment to move out of home is when we are ready to take full control of your life...
If you have a full time job,
you feel that you can take full responsibility of your life,
even if your friends betray you, then go ahead....
but make sure that when you leave home you leave in a good note...

Calling the police for your belongings is not a smart move,
Everybody will move out of home one day,
but that day need to be a peaceful day,
Leave with a kiss....
not with the police.
Leave when you are totally ready, and when you can leave in peace,
and you have prove your parents that you are really capable of taking good care of yourself.

Don't rush in life, life is a long way... you need to take it easy...

 

[MantisToboggan]

Don't forget something,
that you may not understand what is behind what they are saying now... but I believe that is love,

I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. The OP's description of their parents fits precisely with the patterns displayed by those who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or other related "Cluster B" personality disorders. Many family members gave me similar advice, that my mother's actions were based on love or the best intentions. It wasn't until I broke away from that and obtained professional help that I was able to see it for what it really was: abuse. People with these disorders are not capable of experiencing empathy the way normal people are. In my case, and in the cases of thousands of others who have suffered needlessly at the hands of people with these disorders, control is disguised as love.

Unfortunately for the victims of people with these disorders, particularly children (adult and minor), there is a huge amount of social stigma surrounding some of the only known effective ways to deal with the situation. Reducing or eliminating contact with the affected person is currently the only reliable way to address the situation and prevent further abuse.

For me, the hardest time of the year is around the holidays and mother's day. Around mother's day I am bombarded with ad campaigns about how wonderful mothers are and the duties one should have for their mother. I wish my situation with my mother could fit into the perfect image created in these 30-second commercials, but it doesn't. Worse yet, people accuse me of being a bad person and being disrespectful because I am adhering to a plan developed with the help of psychological professionals.

The fact of the matter is that OP's parents are not exhibiting love. Much like it is NEVER acceptable to inflict physical abuse on someone you love, it is also NEVER acceptable to inflict emotional abuse. Making threats to have a child deported IS emotional abuse, no matter the perceived intentions behind it. Staying with an abuser is not the right thing to do.

 

[gosia]

i agree with everyone, take also your important docs, birth cert, sin card, health card, pr etc